Good morning, everybody.
I was riding in a car, on the passenger side, either in the front or back seat. I was looking out the window and up at the sky. The sky was deep blue. In my mind's eye (I think) I saw a pink, buzzing image superimposed over the sky. I also heard, like in narration, a woman's voice telling me that, at the place where I was going, all my needs and desires were anticipated and provided for.
I was now watching myself head down a long escalator inside a mall. I saw everything from a very high angle, as if part of me were outside my body, watching my body from some high up floor in the building.
Once I reached the bottom of the escalator (which was blocked off by a set of pylons and poles, like the escalator was under construction), a robot greeted me. The robot had a basic human shape, but it was featureless. All the components of its body were like bubbles or capsules. It had a dull gold color. The robot led me away. Somehow I knew this place was called the "space mall," that it was a mall in outer space, and that it had everything I needed.
I was in "my bedroom." I apparently had a big, brown blanket that I lay down on whenever I would do my drawings, like the drawings I do as illustrations for my dreams. The blanket was folded up. I unfolded it. The surface of the blanket was covered with junk, garbage, and grainy stuff, probably sand. I was disgusted and a little ashamed. How could I have let my drawing blanket become like this?
I tried to clean it off. But now I saw what I thought was a bug. I had to look at it more carefully. It was actually a Duracell AA battery. It seemed to be moving about on its own. But each time it would move, the copper-top part of it would distort a little, like it was malleable and there was a spider inside, trying to poke out of it.
I was convinced that the battery was a bug. I tried to smash it. That's when I saw that there was actually a spider behind the battery. It looked like a normal house spider. But apparently it took batteries and stacked them up to create a little home for itself. It was trying to push the battery away right now.
I watched the spider push the battery again. Whenever the battery moved, its top would distort, as if the spider were inside it. There were a number of batteries on the blanket. I'm not sure whether there were other spiders. I think there may have been.
I was in front of some house with my mom and possibly my sister and a couple other family members. The house may have been my great aunt's house. There were some tall, well-trimmed shrubs in front of the porch to the house. My mom and I stood in a little space between two shrubs.
We'd been having some kind of argument. I was floating in the air. My mom may also have been floating. Either I or my mom was holding an empty kraft paper box in our hands, like a box the old blocks of food-assistance cheese would come in. We both may have been carrying a box.
My mom was now really angry with me. To spite me, she told me that she knew I'd made bad stock market decisions in my life, so I shouldn't think I was so smart. My mom's statement had shocked and shamed me, just like my mom had wanted. So now she walked away.
I was descending very slowly while thinking about what my mom had said. Of course I'd made bad stock choices in my life. But my mom was talking about one particular decision, and that had made me upset. But I suddenly found a way to make myself feel less bad about that decision. I told myself that G, one of my old clients, had either made the exact same mistake or had suggested that I make the decision I'd made. And he was a smart guy. So why should I feel stupid about my mistake?
I had finally descended to the ground. I charged away, trying to find my mother so that I could respond to her with what I'd remembered. All this time I had the image of my old boss BB in the back of my head.
I was now in a grocery store. I was in the far back, far right corner of the store (as one would face the front of the store). Or -- I may have been in the far back, toward the center of the store. The grocery store was huge, like a Walmart. But it felt old and worn-out. There was barely anybody in the store. And all the lights may have been off, so that there was only a dimmish, yellow-grey light coming from the window walls at the front of the store.
I now told myself that my mom always used to do stuff like this to me when I was young. When she did something I thought I should criticize, I would. Then she'd get angry at me and shout out mean things about me personally to make me ashamed of myself. (I don't think this is necessarily true in waking life.) She was doing the same thing to me now. I told myself to guard myself against this and not to let it bother me.
But I now had an idea. I'd say something to my mom that would really hurt her! I was standing in the laundry detergent aisle of the store, still holding the empty cheese box in my hands, probably cuddling it up to my chest. I knew my mom was sitting at some little dining area right at the front of the store. I ran to the front of the store and found my mom sitting at a booth table with red seats and a white table top.
I jumped into the booth seat across from her. I then leaned over the table and whispered in my mom's ear, "I'm either going to move back to New York or I'm going to kill myself." I backed down into my seat and laughed a little.
But suddenly I felt stupid for what I'd said. Of course, I hadn't meant any of it. And, how was it supposed to hurt my mom? There was no way I could get back to New York, even though I missed the place terribly. And by threatening my own life in front of somebody, I risked getting thrown into a hospital.
I was in a bedroom with my ex-girlfriend H. H was wearing a long skirt. The bedroom was really small and tight, and I was sitting on the bed. Suddenly H lay, stomach down, over my lap, like she was expecting to get a spanking.
Just as suddenly, the bedroom door flew open, and a gust of wind blew H's skirt all the way up. H wasn't wearing any underwear, and her bottom (which was kind of huge) was in full view. A few small boys wearing baseball caps stood looking into the room. I was either trying to think of a way to close the door on them or hoping that they'd just go away and forget what they'd seen.
It was a grey day. My brother and I were standing out on a huge street that was a part of an enormous crossing of highways. We stood on one of the ground-level roads. But there were three or four levels of roads on winding, twisting bridges above us. The streets were all either empty or else so quiet that we weren't worried about standing out in the middle of the road.
My brother and I were down in South America. We were actually citizens of some South American country. But somehow we'd gotten our location all confused. We were now trying to get back home. I, in particular, was a bit upset. We were in one country (Venezuela?) when we were trying to get to another country (Argentina?), and I was mad at the first country, like it was the entire country's fault that I was inside of it.
So, in spite, I started throwing black pebbles at a street sign. The street sign was just one long, horizontal green strip with white writing on it (like a United States street sign). It said "Buenos Aires - 3," even though I'm pretty sure we weren't in Argentina.
I started to have the idea that if I could throw the black pebbles hard enough at the sign, they'd actually pierce the sign. This would create a dimensional hole. I could then travel through the dimensional hole to get back to my correct country. I think my brother caught onto this idea. He started throwing pebbles, too.
But now we were in the living room of my current apartment (or some place pretty close to it). The Buenos Aires sign was still in front of us, and we were still throwing pebbles at it, still trying to break through into another dimension. But we'd run out of black pebbles. I looked at the floor. There were a lot of big rocks. I may have been uncertain of whether rocks would work. Then I thought, Well, they must work. They're bigger than the pebbles. They'll burst right through the sign!
I was sitting on a couch in a living room. The living room was actually like two living rooms set side by side. I sat in the living room that was farther back from the front door. Other than the couch, there was little or no furniture in this room.
A few kids started playing around in the room. There may have been an older girl or a young woman playing with a little girl. But somehow I got the responsibility of taking care of the little girl. I didn't mind this -- in fact, I thought I was better at taking care of the little girl than anyone else could have been.
The little girl sat down beside me on the couch. We were watching another set of little kids playing. Most of the kids were boys, but there may have been one girl. The girl seemed to be really delicate. But somehow I managed to do something to make the little girl feel good about herself.
The boys had run off to play something else. The little girl was either there or not there. It may have been like -- somehow -- she'd joined together with the little girl who was sitting on the couch. The little girl on the couch was maybe three years old. But now she complimented me on the way I dealt with children. She spoke like an adult. Even her vocal intonations were mature.
I wasn't amazed. I think I was seeing the little girl as a little girl but reacting to her as if she were an adult, like a high-up business woman whom I was trying to impress. I told the little girl, "Well, you know, it' no big deal. What my philosophy is, is treat kids like adults. Assume that they can understand everything an adult can understand. And they'll be thankful to you for it. They'll feel better about themselves because they'll feel like they're more in control of their own lives."
The little girl and I were both sitting on one of the short ends of the couch, as if the couch no longer had any arms! My knees were almost touching a small table with a lamp on it. The little girl and I both seemed to be geared up for an interesting conversation. But now my mom walked up from the other living room. She'd said something to the little girl which kind of reinforced the fact that my mom, and not I, was taking care of the little girl.
The little girl (whom I now may occasionally have seen as a young woman, attractive, with copper-colored skin and raven-black hair) tried to compromise with my mom by trying to combine my conversation with the conversation my mom had started. The little girl said, "That makes me think, maybe we should go to the video store and check out that French film, Les Galans, and that other film, -----."
My mom was still in the other living room. On the right wall (my right) was an entertainment center. On the left wall were a couch and some other pieces of furniture. My mom stood at an end table near us and rifled through a big pile of clutter. She said, "Nope. We can't do that. We can't go to the video store anymore. We still have a video of theirs."
My mom pulled a video cassette case out of the pile of clutter and held it before our faces. The case looked like it was from Blockbuster Video. But the front of it was a design for the front of the original case for a video cassette. The movie the case was for was some kind of anime. A pretty, blonde girl stood in front of some city scene. The girl may also have been standing by her car, a sleek, red sports car.
The little girl/young woman asked, "Can't we just take that video back and pick up a new one?"
My mom said, "No. This video was checked out by ---- (some young woman who was apparently a friend of the family). But she left today. She ----- (either moved away permanently or went away for a few days?) just this morning."
The little girl/young woman said, "Oh... So we can't do anything with that card without ----- being here. I see."
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from these dreams can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.
UPDATE 2: Added drawings to dream #5 and dream #6, August 1, 2012, 2:43 PM, Mountain Standard Time.