Tuesday, December 18, 2012

angry semi-lucid dream

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

It was night. I was at my family's house, in the kitchen with my brother. My mother had just left the house. Now that my mother was gone, my brother was trying to find ways to annoy me.

My brother lit up a cigarette in the house. At first I thought he was going to walk outside with it. Almost everybody in the family smokes. But nobody smokes in the house, because my nephews have lung problems. But my brother didn't walk outside. Instead, he walked to and closed the side and front doors, staring at me defiantly the whole time he did it.

I got mad and yelled at my brother. I walked out of the house and into the night, thinking I was going to do something, maybe head back to my own apartment, maybe find my mother -- even though I may also have thought that my mother was never coming back.

I wanted to come back into the house. But now my brother had shut and locked all the doors on me. I tried to get back into the house. But there was no way in.

Suddenly I decided to jump downward, right through the ground and walls, into the basement of the house. I did this, in anger, without even thinking of how strange it had been for me to do it.

I was down in a basement bedroom. The lights were all off, but I could see with a grainy vision, like I was looking through infrared goggles, or like I was watching a black and white film with dim, stark lighting.

I told myself that there was no way I could have done what I'd just done under normal circumstances. I may have realized that I was dreaming. But I probably thought instead that I was having an out of body experience.

I was kind of afraid to move from where I was. I didn't really think I could. I thought I would de-stabilize and stop being in whatever state I was in. But I then thought that I had to move, if only to confront my brother.

I reached for the doorknob of the bedroom. I quickly opened the door. The view tilted, like a camera shot, about fifteen or twenty degrees to the left. I was a little disoriented, but for some reason the shock of the change cleared my mind a little.

I walked out into the hallway, which was actually sloped. It hadn't been my view that was tilted. The hallway was actually sloped. I walked up the dark, starkly dim-lit, black and white hallway. A feeling of clarity and real presence washed over me. I got very excited, thinking, I'm really moving through this environment!