Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was with a woman. The woman may have been my girlfriend. We were moving through a series of locations, something like rooms in a museum. But each location had to do a different rock song, maybe always a Japanese pop song. The locations were all mostly dark, with electronic imagery spreading through the darkness.
In one location, the woman and I were sitting in seats like movie theater seats and listening to a song ("Wasurenai kara?") by the artist Gack't. Overhead spanned a dark beam, like the underside of a bridge. In the distance was a red city skyline.
I found the scene very beautiful, but I wondered whether the woman was feeling bored. Maybe this kind of journey wasn't her thing. Maybe the woman found me boring and resented the fact that she had chosen me for a boyfriend.
I suddenly realized that I may have had to attend some sort of class. I stood up and turned toward the woman, who remained seated. I told the woman not to worry, that I'd be right back. I had to go check whether I needed to take a class right now. But, I told the woman, if I needed to take the class, I'd make sure to come back and get her, so that she could be in the class with me.
I walked down a dark hallway to a lit room where a class was in progress. Most of the people in the class were women. They were all talking in a semi-irreverent, exaggeratedly down-to-earth way. The class was basically a class on how to carry out a divorce most effectively. I was mainly coming to this class because I was trying to help someone through the divorce process.
As I listened to the teacher, who was the most exaggeratedly down-to-earth of all the people, I realized that the woman I'd been journeying through the locations with would think this class was really helpful. So I went to look for her.
But as I was looking around in ----- (the red zone, with the movie seats?), I heard the voice of JS, one of my professional seniors and a person I consider to be a mentor and role model, calling, "Preemie. Preemie! Preemie, wherever you are, get your rear end down here!"
I was so panicked on hearing JS sounding so insistent and disappointed in me that I floated downwards through the floor and down through a huge room, like a fancy bar, where JS sat at a couch and coffee table with a number of other women. JS, seeing me float downward from the high ceiling, asked, "Do you have your divorce report finished? Everybody would like to see it."
I landed and knelt on the ground before the coffee table. I pulled out a stack of papers and began working through them. All the ladies gathered around me, looking over the papers I'd pulled out. I could feel that JS now felt bad about being overly insistent, and that she was now trying to make up for it by being gentle and attentive to my report. I felt like I had put a lot of effort into the report, and I felt like JS could see that.
Dream #2
I was with my mom. We were on something like a bicycle, riding down a slope inside a concrete structure that looked like a mix between a parking lot and the underpass of a highway. We were trying to get to a final destination, but we may have been finding the going pretty difficult.
We were now behind a garbage truck. My mom told me, "If we latch onto the back of the truck, we can let it carry us down the slope. That will make the effort a lot easier on us."
I tried to argue with my mom that latching on the back of the truck, especially while we were going downhill, would only put us in danger. For instance, if the truck stopped, we wouldn't be able to control ourselves, and we'd crash right into the truck.
I could tell my mom was upset about the arguments I was making. But thankfully I didn't have to make them anymore. The garbage truck curved around a stairwell and drove away along some flat stretch of concrete. I knew that my mom and I needed to go down the stairwell. So we wouldn't be able to follow the garbage truck.
I lifted the bicycle up onto my left shoulder and began walking down the steps. The concrete floor had been strewn with some kind of fragmented, glass-like litter. But the steps were even more cluttered with this litter, and the litter was kind of grimy.
I didn't pay it much attention, though. I began speaking to my mom, who I thought was behind me. I told my mom that she'd find she was much happier now that we'd done things the right way. We may have put in an extra effort. But I was shouldering most of the effort for her. I asked her, was she feeling overstrained?
But my mom didn't answer. I realized my mom wasn't behind me. I had no idea where she was. I got to the bottom of the steps and into another huge, concrete room. My mom was standing a few meters away, looking at furniture. There were furniture and rugs all laid out, well-spaced, in this huge room, like exhibits in a museum.
I walked up to my mom and asked her something. She may have asked me something as well, like asking me to remember to do something for my family on her behalf.
Dream #3
I was sitting in a sandbox as big as a public swimming pool. My second oldest nephew sat outside the edge of that sandbox, flinging sand from the edge further in, as if he were splashing water in a pool. My nephew may have been speaking to me about something.
A friend of my nephew now came up. My nephew introduced me to his friend. The friend came into the sandbox. I shook the boy's hand. When the boy took back his hand, he seemed a little panicked. I began to wonder whether my hand had been bleeding and I'd gotten blood on the boy's hand. I felt like this must have been what had happened to make the boy skittish.
I asked the boy what was wrong. He acted like nothing was wrong. But he then showed me a few bruises and healed cuts on his hand. I understood that the boy thought highly of these wounds, so I treated them like they were a really big deal. I realized I also had wounds on my hand, so I showed them to the boy.
The boy began talking about people's hands. He mentioned how some people's hands have an extra little nub of flesh on them. The boy himself may have had this extra nub of flesh. I knew I did. The boy began talking about the different shapes the extra flesh could take on a hand. He mentioned one type which was very much like chicken skin. I thought that must have been my type. I began to feel very ashamed of myself.
Dream #4
I walked into a room with my mom. My second oldest nephew was in the room, holding a flower. My nephew, upon seeing me, got a little teary-eyed and complained to me about how I don't spend as much time with everybody as I should. I felt really bad about this, and I avoided my nephew's eyes.
I looked at the flower. Like an onion, it was bulbous, purple at the base and white at the top. But it also seemed to be folding open into slender, almost orchid-like, but thick, petals.
I was now walking up through the stairwell of a big building. I reached some high up floor. I went up into an apartment which was temporarily mine. It was like I was on some kind of extended business trip or project, and that I'd been given the apartment during the project. Possibly my mom had gotten this apartment for me. I had just come back from a business meeting. This was the first time I'd actually seen the apartment.
There was a huge industrial vent right in the room, near the door. The vent pointed toward the wall, away from the rest of the room. I knew the vent was connected, under the floor, to a much larger system in a small room on the other side of the wall from my apartment.
I knew this larger system at least partly served as a chiller. I had the idea that if the chiller exploded, it would blow open the wall of my apartment. It could possibly even kill me. I wondered whether it had been a bad idea for me to be put into this apartment. I even wondered whether I'd been put into the apartment on purpose, so I would be in constant danger. But I eventually dismissed the whole thing as not being so dangerous after all.
There were huge windows all along the left wall of the apartment. I knew all the windows had been closed while I was away. But now I looked over and saw that one of the windows was open. I couldn't quite believe my eyes at first. But I looked again to see that the window was open.
I went over to the window to close it. But looking out the window, where before I'd just seen a city skyline, I now saw that something like a garden embedded in concrete connected this floor of my building to the corresponding floor of the building next door. The windows in that apartment were open as well. The garden connecting the two buildings was mostly filled with desert soil and plants.
I now began to wonder -- did somebody from across the way come into my apartment? If they did, did they take anything? Or were they still in my apartment? Had they been sent, perhaps, to hurt or kill me?
I reflected that I couldn't really do much about the lack of security before this moment. But right now I could take steps to secure my apartment. I would close and lock my windows right now. I looked down along my wall of windows. I now realized that almost every single window along the wall was open! Somebody must have come in here!
I went into a reverie. I began hearing two people speak. Both of the people were Equity Research analysts. I may have known one of them as CU, an analyst I'd been friends with at my last research job. The other analyst asked CU whether he'd had his report out yet. CU said he hadn't, but that it was basically ready.
The other analyst asked whether he'd read the other reports put out by the other analysts so far. CU said he hadn't, but that his report was probably pretty up-to-date anyway. CU said he could show the other analyst what he had so far.
I now saw what CU had: a whole stack of blue and red construction paper. On each piece of paper was pasted a white piece of paper with black, psychedelic-wavy-style lettering printed all the way down it. This "report" was giving some sort of eulogy for a fellow analyst who had been found dead -- maybe in the very apartment in which I was currently staying.
The thing was, and I could see this as I read CU's "report," that CU was giving very broad, general information about the analyst's death. Not only was the information about the analyst and his death so general that it wouldn't be telling anybody anything they hadn't already heard; it had also missed some of the latest developments surrounding the investigation into the death, so that it was even misleading. I thought this report was almost insulting to the analyst who had died.
I thought that CU must have known the analyst personally. But now, reading the report, I had my doubts. CU's report spoke kindly of the man. But it almost seemed to disavow that CU had ever known the man personally. The details of the man were like details out of a press release.
Apparently the man had also had a little fantasy of being a movie star. He'd even had some little roles in a few movies. The role for which he was most famous was a bit role, where he was carrying a box of Marlboro cigarettes on his right shoulder as he walked down the street. The man was a tall, blonde man with muscular features and a deep tan. The man had a very 1950s style about him.
The joke of the scene was, apparently, that the man, as he walked down the street, past a woman (the main character of the film) who was sitting on the curb, commented about how wonderful and delicious Marlboro cigarettes were. This was a joke because the industry the analyst had covered was the Food, Beverage, and Tobacco industry. So he was basically pushing his own industry.
But CU's report made it seem like this joke was actually some kind of noble effort. The analyst, the report said, had been standing up for one of the best companies he covered. And he covered that company well. The company deserved great coverage, the report seemed to say, because it was one of the world's most noble companies.
I thought that was going a bit overboard. Besides, I could think of a more independent film in which the analyst had had a much larger role, and in which he'd performed much better. But I couldn't remember the name of the film, or even what had happened in it. I only remembered it being very dark.
Now, looking along my windows, I wondered how the man had died. Early reports had been that the man had been murdered. But now I saw in my mind's eye a Facebook-like grid of photos. Early reports implied that these photos were of people who, possibly through a social media platform, had organized to carry out the murder of this analyst.
But now reports were going back on this previous opinion. One headline I saw in my mind's eye said, "Murder-Ring Now Considered a Suicide." So the man had not been murdered, but had committed suicide. The other analysts knew this, and their reports reflected it. But CU's report still did not reflect this fact. In fact, CU's report spoke very assuredly of the analyst having been murdered. I thought this was kind of silly on CU's part.
Showing posts with label museum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label museum. Show all posts
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
michael jackson museum; the kitchen of lesbian monsters; emails at jack in the box
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was looking at a wide, thick picture book full of black and white photos. It was like an illustrated history of Michael Jackson's musical career, with a focus on a very specific time period, maybe like from the late 1980s forward.
But the book was also about the creation of a Michael Jackson Museum somewhere. Some of the photos showed columns and long, narrow corridors, all kind of futuristic looking, but also with a plainness that made the spaces feel very much like contemporary rooms in a museum. There seemed to be silver tinsel everywhere.
But I'd also have flashes of views where I'd suddenly be inside the Michael Jackson Museum. My vision would be really blurry. There were a lot of green spotlights lighting everything up. There were a lot of people around. Sometimes I'd be led down certain areas of the museum. I think Michael Jackson himself was leading me. Then my view would suddenly switch back to just looking at the book.
Dream #2
There was some weird battle going on between two sets of women. All the women were really gorgeous, kind of pale, thin, goth-looking girls. But one half of the girls were normal humans, while the other half had been transformed into vampire- or zombie-like monsters. The regular women were making their final battle against the monster women in a long, narrow room, like a kitchen.
The battle may now have been over. The monster women were sitting all in a line on a fake-leather bench that ran across the left (my left) long wall. The normal women were all working on the monster women. The monster women all seemed to be injured pretty badly, mainly in the chest.
The normal women were all set to work on pulling something out of the monster women's chests. In two cases (I think) I saw the object being pulled out. One of the women had a screw or bolt in her chest, while the other woman had a nail in her chest. But these objects were both cursed objects that had made the women into monsters.
The second normal woman took the nail she had just pulled from the woman's chest and walked over to the sink, which was in the counter that ran all the way along the right wall. She did something with the nail. The monster woman was now a normal woman, and her chest, which had been all caved in and bloody before, was now completely healed, except for a hole in the center of her chest, just above her breasts.
The normal woman may have handed the nail back to the woman. Either way, the woman had a nail in her hand again. The nail was "clean," not cursed. But the woman shoved it right into the hole in her chest. I was kind of shocked that the woman would purposely drive a nail into her chest. I asked her, "Do you like that sort of thing?"
The woman replied, "Yes. Does that scare you? And does it scare you that she" (the normal woman who'd healed her) "is my lesbian lover, and that she likes driving nails into my chest, too?"
I didn't mind. But I felt ashamed for hanging around here. I now realized that all the monster women were all lesbian lovers with the normal women who'd healed them. I didn't want to look like I'd been here because I'd been attracted to all these girls -- even though I had been attracted to them all.
As I was backing up, I saw the first monster girl. She was also healed, even though her chest may still have looked bloody and collapsed. She had a "clean" bolt, which she was now getting ready to shove into her chest.
I walked around a kind of hairpin curve and found myself in a space like a dining room. It was a lot lighter than the other room had been. There was a booth-like table in the right corner of the wall facing me. The bench of the booth was made of white or cream-colored fake leather and went around the table in an almost full square shape. There was also a bright window along the back wall.
The right wall was more like a half wall. It showed into the next room, where a woman sat all by herself. The woman was Asian, and she may have looked like my ex-girlfriend H. I tried not to look at the woman. I assumed that she, like all the other women in this house, was a lesbian. I'd already been ridiculed a bit for having been attracted to girls who were gay. I didn't want to get ridiculed again.
There was a bunch of stuff on the dining table, which may have been below the height of my knee, something like a coffee table's height. I picked up some of the stuff and carried it to the wall behind me. The stuff may have been empty and dirty dishes. I may have been carrying them to a sink to clean them.
Dream #3
It was night. I was sitting at an outdoor table in front of a Jack in the Box restaurant with my mom's best friend. We were eating some kind of sandwiches that had ham and eggs. We may have been talking about old times for a moment or two. But then I got distracted by a message on my cell phone.
There was a whole string of messages that came from Riley Kilo, an adult baby transgendered person who has been an advocate for adult babies in a number of different media arenas. Apparently Riley Kilo and I were kind of like friends. But there was something not quite right about our relationship, like I was always doing something to upset or frustrate Riley and make her feel like she was never getting through to me.
But now Riley was coming to Denver. She'd made this announcement on her blog and in a number of different places, hoping I'd catch on. She'd even sent me this whole string of emails directly. But I hadn't seen or responded to any of them. Finally, she'd sent me an email saying that she was coming to Denver and that she was going to come to my apartment, whether I liked it or not, on the assumption that she was staying there. Once she got there, if I still didn't want her around, I could just kick her out.
I may have thought that I'd respond to this message by saying, "Okay." But I don't think I responded. I think I just sat there for a moment, trying to figure out what the heck I should do.
I suddenly realized that I'd been sitting in absolute silence with my mom's best friend for a good amount of time now. I thought I'd been making progress during our conversation, up until I'd looked at my phone, with letting my mom's friend understand how much I liked her and appreciated her. But now that it had been silent for so long, I think my mom's friend was wondering whether I actually liked her.
So now I asked my mom's friend, "Do you remember before Jack in the Box made its big change, and when I was a little kid, how you and my mom and I would come here all the time? We'd have breakfast sandwiches." My mom's friend remembered this. But something about her memory seemed to come from a different time period than I was talking about. I got distracted again, trying to figure out how to describe the time period exactly right, so my mom's friend would know exactly what I was talking about.
***
UPDATE: Added drawing to dream #2, July 30, 2012, 2:16 PM, Mountain Standard Time.
Dream #1
I was looking at a wide, thick picture book full of black and white photos. It was like an illustrated history of Michael Jackson's musical career, with a focus on a very specific time period, maybe like from the late 1980s forward.
But the book was also about the creation of a Michael Jackson Museum somewhere. Some of the photos showed columns and long, narrow corridors, all kind of futuristic looking, but also with a plainness that made the spaces feel very much like contemporary rooms in a museum. There seemed to be silver tinsel everywhere.
But I'd also have flashes of views where I'd suddenly be inside the Michael Jackson Museum. My vision would be really blurry. There were a lot of green spotlights lighting everything up. There were a lot of people around. Sometimes I'd be led down certain areas of the museum. I think Michael Jackson himself was leading me. Then my view would suddenly switch back to just looking at the book.
Dream #2
There was some weird battle going on between two sets of women. All the women were really gorgeous, kind of pale, thin, goth-looking girls. But one half of the girls were normal humans, while the other half had been transformed into vampire- or zombie-like monsters. The regular women were making their final battle against the monster women in a long, narrow room, like a kitchen.
The battle may now have been over. The monster women were sitting all in a line on a fake-leather bench that ran across the left (my left) long wall. The normal women were all working on the monster women. The monster women all seemed to be injured pretty badly, mainly in the chest.
The normal women were all set to work on pulling something out of the monster women's chests. In two cases (I think) I saw the object being pulled out. One of the women had a screw or bolt in her chest, while the other woman had a nail in her chest. But these objects were both cursed objects that had made the women into monsters.
The second normal woman took the nail she had just pulled from the woman's chest and walked over to the sink, which was in the counter that ran all the way along the right wall. She did something with the nail. The monster woman was now a normal woman, and her chest, which had been all caved in and bloody before, was now completely healed, except for a hole in the center of her chest, just above her breasts.
The normal woman may have handed the nail back to the woman. Either way, the woman had a nail in her hand again. The nail was "clean," not cursed. But the woman shoved it right into the hole in her chest. I was kind of shocked that the woman would purposely drive a nail into her chest. I asked her, "Do you like that sort of thing?"
The woman replied, "Yes. Does that scare you? And does it scare you that she" (the normal woman who'd healed her) "is my lesbian lover, and that she likes driving nails into my chest, too?"
I didn't mind. But I felt ashamed for hanging around here. I now realized that all the monster women were all lesbian lovers with the normal women who'd healed them. I didn't want to look like I'd been here because I'd been attracted to all these girls -- even though I had been attracted to them all.
As I was backing up, I saw the first monster girl. She was also healed, even though her chest may still have looked bloody and collapsed. She had a "clean" bolt, which she was now getting ready to shove into her chest.
I walked around a kind of hairpin curve and found myself in a space like a dining room. It was a lot lighter than the other room had been. There was a booth-like table in the right corner of the wall facing me. The bench of the booth was made of white or cream-colored fake leather and went around the table in an almost full square shape. There was also a bright window along the back wall.
The right wall was more like a half wall. It showed into the next room, where a woman sat all by herself. The woman was Asian, and she may have looked like my ex-girlfriend H. I tried not to look at the woman. I assumed that she, like all the other women in this house, was a lesbian. I'd already been ridiculed a bit for having been attracted to girls who were gay. I didn't want to get ridiculed again.
There was a bunch of stuff on the dining table, which may have been below the height of my knee, something like a coffee table's height. I picked up some of the stuff and carried it to the wall behind me. The stuff may have been empty and dirty dishes. I may have been carrying them to a sink to clean them.
Dream #3
It was night. I was sitting at an outdoor table in front of a Jack in the Box restaurant with my mom's best friend. We were eating some kind of sandwiches that had ham and eggs. We may have been talking about old times for a moment or two. But then I got distracted by a message on my cell phone.
There was a whole string of messages that came from Riley Kilo, an adult baby transgendered person who has been an advocate for adult babies in a number of different media arenas. Apparently Riley Kilo and I were kind of like friends. But there was something not quite right about our relationship, like I was always doing something to upset or frustrate Riley and make her feel like she was never getting through to me.
But now Riley was coming to Denver. She'd made this announcement on her blog and in a number of different places, hoping I'd catch on. She'd even sent me this whole string of emails directly. But I hadn't seen or responded to any of them. Finally, she'd sent me an email saying that she was coming to Denver and that she was going to come to my apartment, whether I liked it or not, on the assumption that she was staying there. Once she got there, if I still didn't want her around, I could just kick her out.
I may have thought that I'd respond to this message by saying, "Okay." But I don't think I responded. I think I just sat there for a moment, trying to figure out what the heck I should do.
I suddenly realized that I'd been sitting in absolute silence with my mom's best friend for a good amount of time now. I thought I'd been making progress during our conversation, up until I'd looked at my phone, with letting my mom's friend understand how much I liked her and appreciated her. But now that it had been silent for so long, I think my mom's friend was wondering whether I actually liked her.
So now I asked my mom's friend, "Do you remember before Jack in the Box made its big change, and when I was a little kid, how you and my mom and I would come here all the time? We'd have breakfast sandwiches." My mom's friend remembered this. But something about her memory seemed to come from a different time period than I was talking about. I got distracted again, trying to figure out how to describe the time period exactly right, so my mom's friend would know exactly what I was talking about.
***
UPDATE: Added drawing to dream #2, July 30, 2012, 2:16 PM, Mountain Standard Time.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
child labor; arcade; ethnic showering; buffet; museum stalker; church gym; car show; last episode
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
A view of a room in grainy-looking black and white, like an overexposed or extremely zoomed-in shot, but also digitized. A group of small kids, mostly small boys, working in a white grid of small spaces. The boys may have been assembling something. There may have been a conveyor belt somewhere. The boys may have had deeply tanned skin and well-combed, short hair.
Dream #2
I was in an empty arcade with one other guy. The arcade was so quiet, it felt like it may even have closed down. The guy and I may in fact have found our way in here by accident. So we decided to play some games.
There was a wide arcade console near the front window (to my left) that played the old game Centipede. My friend told me we should play Centipede. I told him I'd never played it before (???). He told me he'd teach me.
The game started up. It had the same primitive graphics as the old Centipede game. But instead of controlling a figure down at the bottom, you actually controlled a little blob that was a piece of the centipede as it ran downward through the screen. The piece of centipede had the ability to shoot. There was at least one long centipede running through the screen. There may have been more. You had to shoot the centipede, knocking off its pieces until there were none left.
But I was apparently really terrible at the game. Even on the first level,which was basically a blank screen with no obstacles, I did really horribly. I couldn't figure out the shooting mechanism. It was taking me way too long to twist the part of the centipede's body over to where the long centipede was coming from, aim at it, and shoot it. I must have gotten to a more difficult level. But this one was full of obstacles and may have had more than one long centipede. I think I was thinking of asking my friend to teach me how to shoot.
Dream #3
I was either at a beach or at a really big pool with some friends. But a lot of us were just hanging out in front of the outdoor showers. The showers ran alongside a big, cinder block wall that stood before a wooden boardwalk-like walkway. Each shower had its own little division, like it's own little stall, although the dividing area only rose up to about shin-height.
I don't know whether we'd already gone swimming or if we were just getting ready to swim. But at least I personally seemed to be obsessed with the showers. My shower didn't seem to be working. It had hot water for a little while. But then the hot water all went cold. Now something weird was going on with the nozzle.
A male friend to my right -- tall, muscular, attractive, and white -- laughed cheerfully and told me something like I just had to keep positive and hope for the best, and that the shower would probably get better soon.
I stood in the shower a little bit longer. But now the nozzle was loose. I could see, at least in my mind's eye, a white, conical nozzle like the tip of a cake-icing tube almost hitting me in the face through a cascade of water. And my stall was full of a bunch of equipment, like parts of a shower that had fallen out and were left discarded in my stall.
But another person, maybe a female friend of ours, told us that it was time to go. So I had to go to the locker room to shower and change back into my regular clothes. I went into the indoor locker room, a cinder block building with dim, watery, green-grey fluorescent lighting. There seemed to be a lot of people in the locker room.
I headed toward the shower. It was probably just a nozzle, probably all by itself, among other restroom elements like urinals, toilet stalls, and sinks. The shower may have worked fine. I walked back into the main locker room area. I knew I had to hurry to keep up with my friends.
I now noticed that I was in a special area of the locker room. The locker room had been divided into sections. Regardless of nationality, people like me with brown skin had to use this part of the locker room and stay divided from other people in the locker room.
I knew that while people with brown skin were required to use this part of the locker room, it was also assumed that anybody who was using this part of the locker room was using it expressly to conspire with other people in this part of the locker room in some destructive plan. So everybody was always suspicious of the people in this section. I tried to rush out of the place as soon as I could, to avoid suspicion.
The edge of the section for brown people was bounded by a set of small, orange traffic cones. The cones were connected by yellow rope which ran along their tops.
Dream #4
I was heading into a fancy restaurant with a male friend of mine. It seemed like we were coming here to meet a business contact. The lobby of the restaurant was all made of heavy wood.
A skinny, wiry black man with short, but really frazzled (almost shocked), hair stood at the front desk. The worker knew my friend, but he didn't know me. He looked like he was already getting ready to tell me to leave. But my friend not only told the worker that I was his friend, but he told him my name.
The worker's tiny, tight eyes bugged out as wide as they could. The worker said, "Oh!" He grabbed my right (?) hand, folded it at the wrists, and then covered it in both of his hands. Then he put my hand to my chest -- or possibly to his own chest -- and led me through the restaurant, to the table where our party was waiting. I knew I was getting special treatment because of who I was. But I didn't know why I would deserve special treatment.
The restaurant was empty, other than the table with the party we were here to meet. The restaurant was bright with natural light, which came in through windows high up on the wood walls. The place felt open and very nice, full of nice furniture, but kind of old and dusty, a little run-down, especially in the carpeting. There were big, round tables throughout the room and booth tables along the walls. Off to my right was a room that was much dimmer than the room we were in.
I sat down at the round table with our party. I don't know if my friend did. I don't think he did. I think he just walked away. My friend was tall, white, and muscular, with a kind of long haircut done up in a sweeping, squarish, but spiked style. He wore a really nice, grey business suit.
I was now sitting at the table with a group of old men. There may have been a few empty seats. One of the men I recognized as my grandfather, who died about four years ago. Another man I recognized as my mom's old boyfriend. The remaining men were, I assumed, family members or relations of some kind. They seemed very old, and they wore very nice suits.
I opened my menu. The menu looked like a Denny's menu. I couldn't decide what I wanted. But now my grandpa and the other old men stood up and walked away, leaving just me and my mom's ex-boyfriend at the table. One of the men must have come back, but only momentarily, leaving a plate of french toast covered in syrup and a couple links of sausages on the table.
I saw that the men had all gone to the dim room. I now realized that in that room there was an all you can eat breakfast buffet. The old men had all chosen this all you can eat buffet for their meal. I said, probably to the air, "Oh? Is that what everybody's doing? I'd much rather do that. Did they want me to do that as well? I hope I didn't offend them by looking into the regular menu." I didn't want to look like I was trying to order something that was higher-priced, or a worse value than, the all you can eat buffet.
I stood up. I was about to head to the all you can eat buffet. But I saw my mom's ex still sitting at the table. I thought that, instead of being rude (???) and leaving him alone at the table, I'd sit and wait here and talk with him until one or two of the old men came back.
So, sitting down my menu and a handful of plates, which apparently came from nowhere, I asked, "So, how's it going? How's everything been for you lately?"
My mom's ex looked at me in offended surprise, as if to imply that I really had some nerve talking to him at all -- especially after what I'd done to him. I couldn't figure out what I could have done that would have offended him so much. But I just decided not to say anything.
Dream #5
I went into a museum. I went into a special exhibit about some ancient culture. The special exhibit was only going to be at the museum for a short time. I didn't know whether I'd be able to make it. So I was really happy to be here. But I was all alone in the exhibit. A lot of the old artifacts were huge and resembled human faces. It was kind of spooky to be among them all, all by myself.
But I walked into a small room full of these faces (maybe huge, wooden faces, like segments of a totem pole?). There was a big video playing on a wall. In front of the video screen were a long, stainless steel table and three chairs. It was like a little study area. I took off my jacket and pulled out a notebook and pen to start taking notes.
I now noticed an old man come into the room off to my right. The room was like the main entrance room for the exhibit. It was a huge room, like a ballroom. And it seemed like it only had one exhibit display in it, right along the front wall, just a small display of a few artifacts. The rest of the room seemed to be completely empty.
The man had, I knew, noticed that I had walked into the special exhibit. He didn't like my looks, so he decided to follow me and harass me. The man was white, kind of stout, with long, frizzy, white hair along the sides of his head and a completely bald crown. He wore thick black-rimmed eyeglasses, a red and white plaid shirt, and khaki slacks.
The man was really only focused on annoying me. But he wouldn't come into the room I was in. I think he thought that even though he was following me, stalking me, that his stalking would be too obvious if he was in the same room with me. So he stayed in the other room, but he began dancing in a really stupid -- kind of hilarious -- but really distracting way.
I tried to keep focused on the video in front of me, the figures in the room, which I was apparently studying, and my notebook writings. But I kept losing focus. The man kept shifting his movements so he was always in the corner of my eye, doing a weird kind of stompy, twitchy, flailing dance that was hilarious, but that really annoyed the hell out of me. I was getting to the point where I was going to stand up and start a fight with the guy. The way the guy was moving made me wonder if he was on drugs.
But now a tour group was heading into the room. The man saw the tour group and dashed away. I knew that the man was only doing what he was doing to annoy me, as part of a stalker/targeted individual technique. He didn't want his role as a stalker to be seen by anybody else. He didn't want to give himself away. He didn't want anybody to believe me if I told them what he was doing. He wanted everybody to think I was crazy. So he ran away before anybody could see him.
The tour group looked pretty big. A whole line of people entered the room. At first I was just relieved that the old man had gone. But now I thought I should try to get someone to get rid of him altogether. I should tell someone, the tour leader, about the man.
Even though I hadn't seen him directly, I knew that the leader had entered at the front of the line. The leader was already working his way over to the section that was considered to be the beginning of the exhibition. I knew the leader would take a minute to let the tour group get situated, and then he'd start his presentation. I decided to run to the leader really quickly and tell him about the man.
The beginning section of the exhibition was set just a little bit into the right side of the big room. The rest of it went into a room separated from the big room by a sort of overhang. The section itself was like a maze, constructed out of knee-high metal railing. Behind the railing were artifacts. Many of the artifacts were either tall as standing men or else set on pedestals about that height, or even taller. These artifacts may have had more of a Gothic, maybe even more of a Buddhist, appearance.
I found the tour leader standing in the middle of this maze. A few members of the tour group stood around him. The rest kind of filtered through the maze in a long line. But people were still entering the room and getting situated. The tour leader himself was tall, white, but with reddish-tanned skinned. He had dull blue eyes and reddish blonde hair. He was skinny-looking, but he was actually muscular. He had a kind of whiny look about him.
I got the leader's attention in some childish way, maybe by tugging at his elbow or something. I may have felt like I was a child, or at least the height of a child. I at least felt like my head didn't even come up to the leader's sternum.
I very shyly started trying to tell the leader about the harassing old man. But as I did so, I realized that, along with my notebooks and my jacket, I had also left my cell phone at the desk I'd been studying at. I was sure that if the man worked his way around to the room I'd been in, which was like the last room of the exhibit, he'd steal my cell phone for sure.
So I told the leader, "I... uh... I left my cell phone in another room." I knew that the man would start speaking before I returned, and that once he'd started speaking he wouldn't stop for me to tell him about the old man. I couldn't ask the leader to hold off on his speech until I returned. All I could do was try to get back to the leader before the tour group was situated, and hope that the man would be patient enough with me to let me tell him about the old man.
But I still, walking away, tried to at least hint to the leader that I needed to get my cell phone before it got stolen, but that I needed to speak with the leader as well. But all I got out to the leader was something like, "Uh... I'll be... uh... a... just a moment... I'll be right back!"
I walked backwards through the maze. But it was filling up with tour members. It was hard for me to make any progress as I tried to squeeze past them or excuse myself or push past them in the opposite direction. I had a feeling that, with all the time I'd been away from the room already, the old man could easily have taken my phone. If he hadn't gotten to my phone yet, I needed to get to the room as soon as possible, so he couldn't get to it.
Suddenly, I just lifted myself up in the air. I began flying over the tour group. I flew over the group in kind of a weird way, like I was lying on one side, maybe my right side, and clawing the air below me with my right arm -- though my right arm was bent in a really weird way -- while also clawing the air before me with my left arm -- though my left arm was held almost completely to my chest, so that my clawing hand was really only flopping back and forth at the wrist. But I was moving faster than I would have moved by walking.
The line of people filtered all the way through the maze-like area. Just past the maze area there was a staircase, apparently going up to the balcony that overhung the maze area. The line wove under the staircase, not single-file, but with four or five people all beside each other, and then went all the way through the big room and out the entrance door.
I was awed by how massive the tour group was. I had a hard time trying to imagine how the leader was supposed to give a presentation, in just his voice, with no microphones or speakers or anything, to a crowd this enormous.
I may have seen a female tour guide, who was in place to monitor the back of the crowd and make sure nothing got out of hand. She was white, blonde, tan, kind of pretty. She wore the same uniform as the man, except with a mini-skirt instead of slacks. She looked nice enough to talk to without being shy. I thought that I would tell her about the old man after I'd gotten my phone.
I may have landed near the door of the room with all my stuff. I was still really afraid that the old man had gotten to my cell phone first. I felt like I really needed to hurry to get to my things.
Dream #6
I was with some group of people, maybe something like classmates or a group of friends. We had all finished something. We may have been in a place like an auditorium or a movie theatre at first. We may have been watching a movie or movies made by people in the room, or we may have been watching physical performances which were very much like movies somehow. But now the performance was over. The lights had come back on, and people were leaving the auditorium.
We all walked out into a huge room that looked like a gymnasium where we were standing. For a little while I spoke with one of my friends, a kind of heavyset, Hispanic looking girl with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She looked athletic and tomboyish. I think she was gay, and I think she was worried that I was trying to hit on her. But I just liked talking to her as a friend, because she was so easygoing.
Farther away, the gymnasium changed into a cathedral. There were rows of pews, like in a church. Then the room tiered upward along a wide, solid staircase. It went up to a mezzanine level, where there were more tiers and rows of seats. And along the back wall there were some enormous, incredible stained glass windows. There may have been stained glass inside the building, too: maybe along some of the railings at the front of the mezzanine level.
I was mesmerized by the beauty of the stained glass windows. I wanted to see the windows up close. I walked toward them. Some other people walked around in the cathedral area near me, apparently because I was walking around here, so they figured it was okay. I was pretty sure it wasn't okay for any of us to be here. But I really had to see the windows up close.
But our leader called us away. It was like he was an adult and we were children, maybe high school aged children. I may have been my age. But I may have been recognized as a high school kid. This may have been kind of frustrating to me. I wanted to be recognized as an adult by the leader. But I didn't feel like I had enough power in me at all to be recognized as an adult.
Outside, we headed down some barren slope of tan soil to a few big buses that were going to take us back to wherever we'd come from. The buses were parked alongside a pond, which we'd apparently used at some point in the day for swimming. There were still some kids swimming in the pond.
There were a couple adults, probably leaders, too, with the leader who'd called us out of the building. The leaders were all laughing about how kids would shower and then get right back to swimming. But now we had to leave, so the kids couldn't take a shower again.
Dream #7
I stood or sat just offstage, watching some sort of theatrical performance from the wings. My old office manager sat just behind me and to my right. She kept whispering stuff in my ear about this performance. I think I found the stuff she whispered useful, but annoying.
On stage, a sheer, baby-blue curtain was let down, maybe about halfway back in the stage. It ran all the way across the stage, and all the way down to the floor of the stage. The fabric was like the fabric of a negligee. A red, 1950s style car drove up behind the sheer curtain. It glimmered romantically in the spotlights. A slow 1950s style song began playing. A beautiful woman may have appeared, sitting on the roof of the car. The car may slowly have driven off stage.
Dream #8
The last episode of a TV show for teenagers. The show was a variety show, put on largely by teenagers, but with a few adults who acted like moderators and mentors for the teenagers. The show was mostly informative, about pop culture, fashion, and so forth, with little bits of comedy and sketches here and there.
There was a segment showing some of the kids who ran the show getting all sentimental and crying, some of them right after they'd stoutly announced that they wouldn't get all sentimental and start crying. One image was a closeup on a girl's face as she cried. The girl was white, pale skinned, with freckles, pale blue eyes, and frizzy, black-brown hair. She, like all the other kids, wore a yellow t-shirt and blue jeans.
But now it was like the final episode of the show was just beginning. The premise of the show's beginning was that all the kids were going to treat the show just like any other show: that, even though this was the final episode, the kids were going to act like it wasn't. But then, once somebody got out onto the stage, maybe the adults, but I'm not sure, the kids would all shout, "Surprise!" After that, the show would be like a big party.
I knew that at this point, all the crying would take place. I kind of didn't want to have to go through all the crying moments again. Even though they were silly and sappy and kind of endearing, they were also kind of painful. And I didn't want to have to go through the pain again.
The first scene showed the kids running through the backstage area, which was kind of like a huge warehouse full of supplies like bulk-quantity craft supplies: like huge rolls of paper and so forth, on huge shelves towering all the way up to the ceiling.
The kids were, either genuinely or as part of the show, running late for the beginning of the show. They had to get there before the adults did, so they could surprise the adults. But there were people -- not planned by the show -- who were apparently doing work backstage. They paid no attention to the kids, and were even a little smug with the kids. They kept on with their work laying all kinds of obstacles in the kids' path, and walking slowly at right angles to the kids.
The kids were now genuinely late getting on stage. Then one of the girls tripped on one of the workers who had gotten into her path. She fell and slid across the floor. All the kids who'd seen the girl fall stopped running and knelt down to help the girl. It was now painfully obvious that these kids, if not all the kids, would now be extremely late in getting onto the stage.
Dream #1
A view of a room in grainy-looking black and white, like an overexposed or extremely zoomed-in shot, but also digitized. A group of small kids, mostly small boys, working in a white grid of small spaces. The boys may have been assembling something. There may have been a conveyor belt somewhere. The boys may have had deeply tanned skin and well-combed, short hair.
Dream #2
I was in an empty arcade with one other guy. The arcade was so quiet, it felt like it may even have closed down. The guy and I may in fact have found our way in here by accident. So we decided to play some games.
There was a wide arcade console near the front window (to my left) that played the old game Centipede. My friend told me we should play Centipede. I told him I'd never played it before (???). He told me he'd teach me.
The game started up. It had the same primitive graphics as the old Centipede game. But instead of controlling a figure down at the bottom, you actually controlled a little blob that was a piece of the centipede as it ran downward through the screen. The piece of centipede had the ability to shoot. There was at least one long centipede running through the screen. There may have been more. You had to shoot the centipede, knocking off its pieces until there were none left.
But I was apparently really terrible at the game. Even on the first level,which was basically a blank screen with no obstacles, I did really horribly. I couldn't figure out the shooting mechanism. It was taking me way too long to twist the part of the centipede's body over to where the long centipede was coming from, aim at it, and shoot it. I must have gotten to a more difficult level. But this one was full of obstacles and may have had more than one long centipede. I think I was thinking of asking my friend to teach me how to shoot.
Dream #3
I was either at a beach or at a really big pool with some friends. But a lot of us were just hanging out in front of the outdoor showers. The showers ran alongside a big, cinder block wall that stood before a wooden boardwalk-like walkway. Each shower had its own little division, like it's own little stall, although the dividing area only rose up to about shin-height.
I don't know whether we'd already gone swimming or if we were just getting ready to swim. But at least I personally seemed to be obsessed with the showers. My shower didn't seem to be working. It had hot water for a little while. But then the hot water all went cold. Now something weird was going on with the nozzle.
A male friend to my right -- tall, muscular, attractive, and white -- laughed cheerfully and told me something like I just had to keep positive and hope for the best, and that the shower would probably get better soon.
I stood in the shower a little bit longer. But now the nozzle was loose. I could see, at least in my mind's eye, a white, conical nozzle like the tip of a cake-icing tube almost hitting me in the face through a cascade of water. And my stall was full of a bunch of equipment, like parts of a shower that had fallen out and were left discarded in my stall.
But another person, maybe a female friend of ours, told us that it was time to go. So I had to go to the locker room to shower and change back into my regular clothes. I went into the indoor locker room, a cinder block building with dim, watery, green-grey fluorescent lighting. There seemed to be a lot of people in the locker room.
I headed toward the shower. It was probably just a nozzle, probably all by itself, among other restroom elements like urinals, toilet stalls, and sinks. The shower may have worked fine. I walked back into the main locker room area. I knew I had to hurry to keep up with my friends.
I now noticed that I was in a special area of the locker room. The locker room had been divided into sections. Regardless of nationality, people like me with brown skin had to use this part of the locker room and stay divided from other people in the locker room.
I knew that while people with brown skin were required to use this part of the locker room, it was also assumed that anybody who was using this part of the locker room was using it expressly to conspire with other people in this part of the locker room in some destructive plan. So everybody was always suspicious of the people in this section. I tried to rush out of the place as soon as I could, to avoid suspicion.
The edge of the section for brown people was bounded by a set of small, orange traffic cones. The cones were connected by yellow rope which ran along their tops.
Dream #4
I was heading into a fancy restaurant with a male friend of mine. It seemed like we were coming here to meet a business contact. The lobby of the restaurant was all made of heavy wood.
A skinny, wiry black man with short, but really frazzled (almost shocked), hair stood at the front desk. The worker knew my friend, but he didn't know me. He looked like he was already getting ready to tell me to leave. But my friend not only told the worker that I was his friend, but he told him my name.
The worker's tiny, tight eyes bugged out as wide as they could. The worker said, "Oh!" He grabbed my right (?) hand, folded it at the wrists, and then covered it in both of his hands. Then he put my hand to my chest -- or possibly to his own chest -- and led me through the restaurant, to the table where our party was waiting. I knew I was getting special treatment because of who I was. But I didn't know why I would deserve special treatment.
The restaurant was empty, other than the table with the party we were here to meet. The restaurant was bright with natural light, which came in through windows high up on the wood walls. The place felt open and very nice, full of nice furniture, but kind of old and dusty, a little run-down, especially in the carpeting. There were big, round tables throughout the room and booth tables along the walls. Off to my right was a room that was much dimmer than the room we were in.
I sat down at the round table with our party. I don't know if my friend did. I don't think he did. I think he just walked away. My friend was tall, white, and muscular, with a kind of long haircut done up in a sweeping, squarish, but spiked style. He wore a really nice, grey business suit.
I was now sitting at the table with a group of old men. There may have been a few empty seats. One of the men I recognized as my grandfather, who died about four years ago. Another man I recognized as my mom's old boyfriend. The remaining men were, I assumed, family members or relations of some kind. They seemed very old, and they wore very nice suits.
I opened my menu. The menu looked like a Denny's menu. I couldn't decide what I wanted. But now my grandpa and the other old men stood up and walked away, leaving just me and my mom's ex-boyfriend at the table. One of the men must have come back, but only momentarily, leaving a plate of french toast covered in syrup and a couple links of sausages on the table.
I saw that the men had all gone to the dim room. I now realized that in that room there was an all you can eat breakfast buffet. The old men had all chosen this all you can eat buffet for their meal. I said, probably to the air, "Oh? Is that what everybody's doing? I'd much rather do that. Did they want me to do that as well? I hope I didn't offend them by looking into the regular menu." I didn't want to look like I was trying to order something that was higher-priced, or a worse value than, the all you can eat buffet.
I stood up. I was about to head to the all you can eat buffet. But I saw my mom's ex still sitting at the table. I thought that, instead of being rude (???) and leaving him alone at the table, I'd sit and wait here and talk with him until one or two of the old men came back.
So, sitting down my menu and a handful of plates, which apparently came from nowhere, I asked, "So, how's it going? How's everything been for you lately?"
My mom's ex looked at me in offended surprise, as if to imply that I really had some nerve talking to him at all -- especially after what I'd done to him. I couldn't figure out what I could have done that would have offended him so much. But I just decided not to say anything.
Dream #5
I went into a museum. I went into a special exhibit about some ancient culture. The special exhibit was only going to be at the museum for a short time. I didn't know whether I'd be able to make it. So I was really happy to be here. But I was all alone in the exhibit. A lot of the old artifacts were huge and resembled human faces. It was kind of spooky to be among them all, all by myself.
But I walked into a small room full of these faces (maybe huge, wooden faces, like segments of a totem pole?). There was a big video playing on a wall. In front of the video screen were a long, stainless steel table and three chairs. It was like a little study area. I took off my jacket and pulled out a notebook and pen to start taking notes.
I now noticed an old man come into the room off to my right. The room was like the main entrance room for the exhibit. It was a huge room, like a ballroom. And it seemed like it only had one exhibit display in it, right along the front wall, just a small display of a few artifacts. The rest of the room seemed to be completely empty.
The man had, I knew, noticed that I had walked into the special exhibit. He didn't like my looks, so he decided to follow me and harass me. The man was white, kind of stout, with long, frizzy, white hair along the sides of his head and a completely bald crown. He wore thick black-rimmed eyeglasses, a red and white plaid shirt, and khaki slacks.
The man was really only focused on annoying me. But he wouldn't come into the room I was in. I think he thought that even though he was following me, stalking me, that his stalking would be too obvious if he was in the same room with me. So he stayed in the other room, but he began dancing in a really stupid -- kind of hilarious -- but really distracting way.
I tried to keep focused on the video in front of me, the figures in the room, which I was apparently studying, and my notebook writings. But I kept losing focus. The man kept shifting his movements so he was always in the corner of my eye, doing a weird kind of stompy, twitchy, flailing dance that was hilarious, but that really annoyed the hell out of me. I was getting to the point where I was going to stand up and start a fight with the guy. The way the guy was moving made me wonder if he was on drugs.
But now a tour group was heading into the room. The man saw the tour group and dashed away. I knew that the man was only doing what he was doing to annoy me, as part of a stalker/targeted individual technique. He didn't want his role as a stalker to be seen by anybody else. He didn't want to give himself away. He didn't want anybody to believe me if I told them what he was doing. He wanted everybody to think I was crazy. So he ran away before anybody could see him.
The tour group looked pretty big. A whole line of people entered the room. At first I was just relieved that the old man had gone. But now I thought I should try to get someone to get rid of him altogether. I should tell someone, the tour leader, about the man.
Even though I hadn't seen him directly, I knew that the leader had entered at the front of the line. The leader was already working his way over to the section that was considered to be the beginning of the exhibition. I knew the leader would take a minute to let the tour group get situated, and then he'd start his presentation. I decided to run to the leader really quickly and tell him about the man.
The beginning section of the exhibition was set just a little bit into the right side of the big room. The rest of it went into a room separated from the big room by a sort of overhang. The section itself was like a maze, constructed out of knee-high metal railing. Behind the railing were artifacts. Many of the artifacts were either tall as standing men or else set on pedestals about that height, or even taller. These artifacts may have had more of a Gothic, maybe even more of a Buddhist, appearance.
I found the tour leader standing in the middle of this maze. A few members of the tour group stood around him. The rest kind of filtered through the maze in a long line. But people were still entering the room and getting situated. The tour leader himself was tall, white, but with reddish-tanned skinned. He had dull blue eyes and reddish blonde hair. He was skinny-looking, but he was actually muscular. He had a kind of whiny look about him.
I got the leader's attention in some childish way, maybe by tugging at his elbow or something. I may have felt like I was a child, or at least the height of a child. I at least felt like my head didn't even come up to the leader's sternum.
I very shyly started trying to tell the leader about the harassing old man. But as I did so, I realized that, along with my notebooks and my jacket, I had also left my cell phone at the desk I'd been studying at. I was sure that if the man worked his way around to the room I'd been in, which was like the last room of the exhibit, he'd steal my cell phone for sure.
So I told the leader, "I... uh... I left my cell phone in another room." I knew that the man would start speaking before I returned, and that once he'd started speaking he wouldn't stop for me to tell him about the old man. I couldn't ask the leader to hold off on his speech until I returned. All I could do was try to get back to the leader before the tour group was situated, and hope that the man would be patient enough with me to let me tell him about the old man.
But I still, walking away, tried to at least hint to the leader that I needed to get my cell phone before it got stolen, but that I needed to speak with the leader as well. But all I got out to the leader was something like, "Uh... I'll be... uh... a... just a moment... I'll be right back!"
I walked backwards through the maze. But it was filling up with tour members. It was hard for me to make any progress as I tried to squeeze past them or excuse myself or push past them in the opposite direction. I had a feeling that, with all the time I'd been away from the room already, the old man could easily have taken my phone. If he hadn't gotten to my phone yet, I needed to get to the room as soon as possible, so he couldn't get to it.
Suddenly, I just lifted myself up in the air. I began flying over the tour group. I flew over the group in kind of a weird way, like I was lying on one side, maybe my right side, and clawing the air below me with my right arm -- though my right arm was bent in a really weird way -- while also clawing the air before me with my left arm -- though my left arm was held almost completely to my chest, so that my clawing hand was really only flopping back and forth at the wrist. But I was moving faster than I would have moved by walking.
The line of people filtered all the way through the maze-like area. Just past the maze area there was a staircase, apparently going up to the balcony that overhung the maze area. The line wove under the staircase, not single-file, but with four or five people all beside each other, and then went all the way through the big room and out the entrance door.
I was awed by how massive the tour group was. I had a hard time trying to imagine how the leader was supposed to give a presentation, in just his voice, with no microphones or speakers or anything, to a crowd this enormous.
I may have seen a female tour guide, who was in place to monitor the back of the crowd and make sure nothing got out of hand. She was white, blonde, tan, kind of pretty. She wore the same uniform as the man, except with a mini-skirt instead of slacks. She looked nice enough to talk to without being shy. I thought that I would tell her about the old man after I'd gotten my phone.
I may have landed near the door of the room with all my stuff. I was still really afraid that the old man had gotten to my cell phone first. I felt like I really needed to hurry to get to my things.
Dream #6
I was with some group of people, maybe something like classmates or a group of friends. We had all finished something. We may have been in a place like an auditorium or a movie theatre at first. We may have been watching a movie or movies made by people in the room, or we may have been watching physical performances which were very much like movies somehow. But now the performance was over. The lights had come back on, and people were leaving the auditorium.
We all walked out into a huge room that looked like a gymnasium where we were standing. For a little while I spoke with one of my friends, a kind of heavyset, Hispanic looking girl with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She looked athletic and tomboyish. I think she was gay, and I think she was worried that I was trying to hit on her. But I just liked talking to her as a friend, because she was so easygoing.
Farther away, the gymnasium changed into a cathedral. There were rows of pews, like in a church. Then the room tiered upward along a wide, solid staircase. It went up to a mezzanine level, where there were more tiers and rows of seats. And along the back wall there were some enormous, incredible stained glass windows. There may have been stained glass inside the building, too: maybe along some of the railings at the front of the mezzanine level.
I was mesmerized by the beauty of the stained glass windows. I wanted to see the windows up close. I walked toward them. Some other people walked around in the cathedral area near me, apparently because I was walking around here, so they figured it was okay. I was pretty sure it wasn't okay for any of us to be here. But I really had to see the windows up close.
But our leader called us away. It was like he was an adult and we were children, maybe high school aged children. I may have been my age. But I may have been recognized as a high school kid. This may have been kind of frustrating to me. I wanted to be recognized as an adult by the leader. But I didn't feel like I had enough power in me at all to be recognized as an adult.
Outside, we headed down some barren slope of tan soil to a few big buses that were going to take us back to wherever we'd come from. The buses were parked alongside a pond, which we'd apparently used at some point in the day for swimming. There were still some kids swimming in the pond.
There were a couple adults, probably leaders, too, with the leader who'd called us out of the building. The leaders were all laughing about how kids would shower and then get right back to swimming. But now we had to leave, so the kids couldn't take a shower again.
Dream #7
I stood or sat just offstage, watching some sort of theatrical performance from the wings. My old office manager sat just behind me and to my right. She kept whispering stuff in my ear about this performance. I think I found the stuff she whispered useful, but annoying.
On stage, a sheer, baby-blue curtain was let down, maybe about halfway back in the stage. It ran all the way across the stage, and all the way down to the floor of the stage. The fabric was like the fabric of a negligee. A red, 1950s style car drove up behind the sheer curtain. It glimmered romantically in the spotlights. A slow 1950s style song began playing. A beautiful woman may have appeared, sitting on the roof of the car. The car may slowly have driven off stage.
Dream #8
The last episode of a TV show for teenagers. The show was a variety show, put on largely by teenagers, but with a few adults who acted like moderators and mentors for the teenagers. The show was mostly informative, about pop culture, fashion, and so forth, with little bits of comedy and sketches here and there.
There was a segment showing some of the kids who ran the show getting all sentimental and crying, some of them right after they'd stoutly announced that they wouldn't get all sentimental and start crying. One image was a closeup on a girl's face as she cried. The girl was white, pale skinned, with freckles, pale blue eyes, and frizzy, black-brown hair. She, like all the other kids, wore a yellow t-shirt and blue jeans.
But now it was like the final episode of the show was just beginning. The premise of the show's beginning was that all the kids were going to treat the show just like any other show: that, even though this was the final episode, the kids were going to act like it wasn't. But then, once somebody got out onto the stage, maybe the adults, but I'm not sure, the kids would all shout, "Surprise!" After that, the show would be like a big party.
I knew that at this point, all the crying would take place. I kind of didn't want to have to go through all the crying moments again. Even though they were silly and sappy and kind of endearing, they were also kind of painful. And I didn't want to have to go through the pain again.
The first scene showed the kids running through the backstage area, which was kind of like a huge warehouse full of supplies like bulk-quantity craft supplies: like huge rolls of paper and so forth, on huge shelves towering all the way up to the ceiling.
The kids were, either genuinely or as part of the show, running late for the beginning of the show. They had to get there before the adults did, so they could surprise the adults. But there were people -- not planned by the show -- who were apparently doing work backstage. They paid no attention to the kids, and were even a little smug with the kids. They kept on with their work laying all kinds of obstacles in the kids' path, and walking slowly at right angles to the kids.
The kids were now genuinely late getting on stage. Then one of the girls tripped on one of the workers who had gotten into her path. She fell and slid across the floor. All the kids who'd seen the girl fall stopped running and knelt down to help the girl. It was now painfully obvious that these kids, if not all the kids, would now be extremely late in getting onto the stage.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
the city in a mall
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was on a subway train with "my family." The family sometimes appeared to be my family and other times appeared to be a wealthy family, with a father, a mother, and at least a pretty, blonde daughter. There may have been other people with this other family, like extended family members coming along on vacation. I'm not sure whether I saw from my height or the height of a child. But I was my current age, at least mentally.
The train we were on seemed a bit more like an airport train than a subway train. It seemed like the cars were really small and clean, and like everybody was standing up.
The train either stopped or slowed down. An announcer, probably a computer voice, came on and told us that the train would be detoured. This was a big inconvenience for my family. We decided that we would get off the train as soon as possible and take some other form of transportation to our destination. But this seemed inconvenient to me. The other transportation would be biking or walking, which would take a long time, or driving, which would cost a lot of money.
I felt bad about the train getting detoured. I thought it was my fault somehow. I think it had been my suggestion to take the train. I'd thought it was the most convenient way to go. I think I even (at this point I'm pretty sure my view was from a child's height) tried to justify our having taken the train to everybody -- even though nobody seemed to think badly about my having suggested the train.
But when we got off the train, it was like we were almost to our destination, anyway. We walked out onto a huge concrete plaza, which felt bleached white by the sunlight. Off to our right was another train. We may have headed over to catch that train. At this point, my family was a lot more like my waking life family -- or, at least my mom was a lot more like my waking life mom.
The train took us a short distance, still along this giant concrete walkway, to a set of escalators that went inside a building. This was our destination. I knew that our plan was to check into our hotel and then go to the Museum of Natural History. I may even have called it Denver Museum of Natural History, like we were in Denver, on vacation. (Denver is where I live in waking life.)
We went up the escalators. Somehow I lost my family. I was completely by myself. I was in some gigantic shopping mall. I had no idea how I was going to find my family. But I knew where we were going. We were heading to the hotel and to the museum. I knew that everything in the city was in this mall, or was at least connected to this mall. You could reach every place in the city through the mall. So all I'd have to do is find the hotel and the museum. Then I'd be able to find my family.
I went to some huge sign that listed some of the major areas of the mall. I looked for the listings for the hotel and the museum. I may have known that the mall was divided into different sections, each section being denoted by a different color. I knew that the museum and hotel were in the red section of the mall. So I looked for the hotel and museum in the red section listings.
I apparently found out where the hotel and museum were. I began rushing toward the hotel, down through a hallway that I believed was a part of the red section of the mall. But for some reason I either forgot where the hotel and museum were, or else I became uncertain about whether I was travelling in the right direction. So I had to stop and look for directions again.
I found a directions sign hanging over an escalator bank that was coming up from a lower level. Some young man seemed to be headed toward either the escalators or a place where he could get a good view of the directions sign. I was in a big hurry to get to the sign as well, and I think I cut the guy off. I apologized to him. But he said it wasn't a big deal.
I thought that I found the hotel on the directions sign. But what I actually found was a hotel belonging to the same chain, but at a different location. Right underneath that hotel was another hotel belonging to the same chain. The location name for that specific hotel may have been "Quemada." I looked at a different spot on the directions sign and found the hotel I was looking for, which now may have been named "Denver West."
I rushed toward the hotel again. But I may have stopped again. I may have wondered whether I should be meeting my family at the museum instead of at the hotel.
But I think I ended up at the hotel. I think I stood in front of the entrance to the hotel. It looked like the entrance to any other shop in a shopping mall: square, wide, and kind of short. I didn't walk in or head up to the hotel room yet.
But I knew -- like I could hear my mom talking to me from somewhere -- saying that everybody else had decided they were just going to end their day here in the hotel. Nobody was planning on going to the museum. I thought this would obviously include me. If nobody else was going to the museum, I wouldn't be allowed to go, either. But I think I started to think of a way that I could go even if nobody else was going.
***
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from this dream can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.
Dream #1
I was on a subway train with "my family." The family sometimes appeared to be my family and other times appeared to be a wealthy family, with a father, a mother, and at least a pretty, blonde daughter. There may have been other people with this other family, like extended family members coming along on vacation. I'm not sure whether I saw from my height or the height of a child. But I was my current age, at least mentally.
The train we were on seemed a bit more like an airport train than a subway train. It seemed like the cars were really small and clean, and like everybody was standing up.
The train either stopped or slowed down. An announcer, probably a computer voice, came on and told us that the train would be detoured. This was a big inconvenience for my family. We decided that we would get off the train as soon as possible and take some other form of transportation to our destination. But this seemed inconvenient to me. The other transportation would be biking or walking, which would take a long time, or driving, which would cost a lot of money.
I felt bad about the train getting detoured. I thought it was my fault somehow. I think it had been my suggestion to take the train. I'd thought it was the most convenient way to go. I think I even (at this point I'm pretty sure my view was from a child's height) tried to justify our having taken the train to everybody -- even though nobody seemed to think badly about my having suggested the train.
But when we got off the train, it was like we were almost to our destination, anyway. We walked out onto a huge concrete plaza, which felt bleached white by the sunlight. Off to our right was another train. We may have headed over to catch that train. At this point, my family was a lot more like my waking life family -- or, at least my mom was a lot more like my waking life mom.
The train took us a short distance, still along this giant concrete walkway, to a set of escalators that went inside a building. This was our destination. I knew that our plan was to check into our hotel and then go to the Museum of Natural History. I may even have called it Denver Museum of Natural History, like we were in Denver, on vacation. (Denver is where I live in waking life.)
We went up the escalators. Somehow I lost my family. I was completely by myself. I was in some gigantic shopping mall. I had no idea how I was going to find my family. But I knew where we were going. We were heading to the hotel and to the museum. I knew that everything in the city was in this mall, or was at least connected to this mall. You could reach every place in the city through the mall. So all I'd have to do is find the hotel and the museum. Then I'd be able to find my family.
I went to some huge sign that listed some of the major areas of the mall. I looked for the listings for the hotel and the museum. I may have known that the mall was divided into different sections, each section being denoted by a different color. I knew that the museum and hotel were in the red section of the mall. So I looked for the hotel and museum in the red section listings.
I apparently found out where the hotel and museum were. I began rushing toward the hotel, down through a hallway that I believed was a part of the red section of the mall. But for some reason I either forgot where the hotel and museum were, or else I became uncertain about whether I was travelling in the right direction. So I had to stop and look for directions again.
I found a directions sign hanging over an escalator bank that was coming up from a lower level. Some young man seemed to be headed toward either the escalators or a place where he could get a good view of the directions sign. I was in a big hurry to get to the sign as well, and I think I cut the guy off. I apologized to him. But he said it wasn't a big deal.
I thought that I found the hotel on the directions sign. But what I actually found was a hotel belonging to the same chain, but at a different location. Right underneath that hotel was another hotel belonging to the same chain. The location name for that specific hotel may have been "Quemada." I looked at a different spot on the directions sign and found the hotel I was looking for, which now may have been named "Denver West."
I rushed toward the hotel again. But I may have stopped again. I may have wondered whether I should be meeting my family at the museum instead of at the hotel.
But I think I ended up at the hotel. I think I stood in front of the entrance to the hotel. It looked like the entrance to any other shop in a shopping mall: square, wide, and kind of short. I didn't walk in or head up to the hotel room yet.
But I knew -- like I could hear my mom talking to me from somewhere -- saying that everybody else had decided they were just going to end their day here in the hotel. Nobody was planning on going to the museum. I thought this would obviously include me. If nobody else was going to the museum, I wouldn't be allowed to go, either. But I think I started to think of a way that I could go even if nobody else was going.
***
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from this dream can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.
Monday, July 16, 2012
wearing lingerie in public; museum jealousy; astronomy lies for sex
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I walked out of some building and into a yard of buildings. The buildings were small, about the size of double-wide trailers. There were a lot of people out in this yard with me. The yard was like a vacant lot, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings, in the middle of New York City. It also felt a little like the back area of the Museum of Modern Art in New York.
The small buildings in the yard were in all different shapes, some classical, some modern. Some of the buildings appeared to be made out of granite. One building was made out of a shaded-looking glass. Other buildings were twisted in weird shapes. There was steam or smoke rising up from the ground everywhere.
I understood that this was a museum for the history of NASA. But I may not quite have understood that while I was in the building I'd just come out of. But now that I understood it, I wanted to go into a number of other buildings, to see what everything was about.
But as I looked at another building to go into, I saw a woman staring at me. She was a young, black woman. She was something like a security guard, but she sat behind a strange, glass structure, and up in some tall chair like a lifeguard's chair. It was like the woman was thinking I had done something bad. I think she was getting ready for me to do something else bad. So instead of hanging around and being blamed for something else bad being done, I decided to leave.
I may have had some friends. I may have told them I was leaving, or they may have come with me. I walked out onto a cobblestone street, kind of like the streets in the SoHo area of NYC. But this street was really wide. It was also pretty desolate of people. I walked to my left and kind of hooked up and backwards around a corner. I then headed up toward a streetcorner where there seemed to be a lot more people.
I stood among the people. I held a blue, fuzzy blanket around all of my body below my neck. Someone asked me if I knew where they could get a good something, maybe a good meal. I pointed in some direction where I knew (and could see in my mind's eye) a good shop. I may have given some directions. The place was only a couple blocks away. But the person seemed confused. So I told the person I could lead her (?) to the place.
But for some reason, when I pointed out the directions, I'd managed to undo the blanket from being wrapped around my body. I exposed myself. I was wearing women's lingerie -- a purple cami and purple panties.
I said, "Oh, wait. I can't take you down to that place. I'm wearing the wrong clothes. I didn't realize, I must have left the museum in a hurry, before getting into regular clothes. I'll have to go back and change."
But the woman stopped me. She said, "Why do you need to change? You've walked all the way out here wearing nothing but that stuff. I don't think anybody's going to care if you keep on walking around like that."
I thought the woman was right. It didn't seem like anybody around us really worried about the way I looked. But I was still embarrassed. I figured I'd at least go back to the museum so I could put on a t-shirt and some jeans.
Dream #2
I was in a museum, maybe an astronomy museum. The museum was run by two of my old friends, ML and MK. The museum was kind of like a series of small, modular areas set into a lobby or atrium of a big building, like an office building.
I had been shuffling around the museum, kind of sticking to the outskirts of it, not really wanting to be seen by ML and MK. But now a young, black man came into the museum. He was talking with my friends. The young man sat on the floor, with his back to a structure that had a big enough gap in it (between two stone or concrete walls?) that I could see the young man and at least my friend ML.
The young man began discussing something about his schooling. He'd studied aerospace, and he was really interested in learning as much more as he could about space travel. So he'd come here to see about becoming a member or about taking more classes through the museum or something. ML was really impressed by the young man. He told the young man he'd get back in touch with him soon.
The young man left. ML now spoke out, either to MK or else to the whole room, so he'd know I'd hear him, talking about how good the young man was. This was possibly supposed to make me feel bad about myself so that I'd take a more active role in studying the stuff at the museum. I did get jealous. I walked out of hiding and began talking with ML, trying to prove that I had been diligently studying aerospace and astronomy for a long time now.
Dream #3
I was in trouble with somebody, possibly a woman. I'd been in the role of a teacher for a number of females of all different ages. But I'd told them something completely wrong about astronomy.
I'd told them something about the effect of something like gravity from stars. I had been telling the women that scientists could not make firm judgments about either the composition of certain stars, or maybe even about the existence of certain stars within small groupings of stars. This had something to do with gravity.
I'd told the girls that, at least with certain kinds of stars, you could get closer and closer to the stars without feeling any different gravitational effects from them than you felt at a far distance. I had an image in my head, as I remembered telling the girls this, of a white star like a sun dotted with a bluish star on one side and a blackish star on the other.
The woman asked me why I'd been spreading such harmful nonsense among the students. I was trying to remember if I'd meant to spread nonsense. It seemed to me, as I reflected, that I was telling what I'd thought was the truth.
I even had a memory of a video I'd seen discussing the phenomenon. I tried to remind the woman about this video. I now saw an image of a star with two smaller stars dotting it. I then saw an image of two white stars that were close to each other.
I knew that the video said that the phenomenon was the same for both kinds of star systems: you couldn't feel any different gravity that would determine the existence, or the composition, or certain stars within the system. It might not be felt until you got really close. But even then there might be some kind of cancellation effect that would make it seem like there was no gravitational force from the bodies at all.
I tried to remind the woman of the video that had said this. But I couldn't remember what the video was, or when we'd watched it. And the woman didn't want to hear what I was talking about. She told me that the only reason I'd said all this stuff was to make the girls I was teaching less worried about some upcoming events. The girls were all so worried about some upcoming celestial event that they didn't want to have sex with anybody. But I was trying to make them less worried, so they'd have sex -- with me.
I now saw a slide, an old style metal slide. It was indoors. The room the slide was in was mostly dark, with just the top meter or so of wall, right where the slide peaked, lit up all the way across the wall with some gentle, fluorescent light that was behind a white, opaque pane of plastic.
The girls were all up on the slide's ladder. As they got to the top, they'd slide down. Three or so girls would be on the slide at once, all kind of evenly spaced. As they slid, some of the girls may have had some kind of purple glop detaching from their bodies, sometimes from their bottoms and sometimes from their stomachs.
***
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from these dreams can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.
UPDATE 2: Drawing added for dream #1, July 16, 2012, 2:15 PM Mountain Standard Time.
Dream #1
I walked out of some building and into a yard of buildings. The buildings were small, about the size of double-wide trailers. There were a lot of people out in this yard with me. The yard was like a vacant lot, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings, in the middle of New York City. It also felt a little like the back area of the Museum of Modern Art in New York.
The small buildings in the yard were in all different shapes, some classical, some modern. Some of the buildings appeared to be made out of granite. One building was made out of a shaded-looking glass. Other buildings were twisted in weird shapes. There was steam or smoke rising up from the ground everywhere.
I understood that this was a museum for the history of NASA. But I may not quite have understood that while I was in the building I'd just come out of. But now that I understood it, I wanted to go into a number of other buildings, to see what everything was about.
But as I looked at another building to go into, I saw a woman staring at me. She was a young, black woman. She was something like a security guard, but she sat behind a strange, glass structure, and up in some tall chair like a lifeguard's chair. It was like the woman was thinking I had done something bad. I think she was getting ready for me to do something else bad. So instead of hanging around and being blamed for something else bad being done, I decided to leave.
I may have had some friends. I may have told them I was leaving, or they may have come with me. I walked out onto a cobblestone street, kind of like the streets in the SoHo area of NYC. But this street was really wide. It was also pretty desolate of people. I walked to my left and kind of hooked up and backwards around a corner. I then headed up toward a streetcorner where there seemed to be a lot more people.
I stood among the people. I held a blue, fuzzy blanket around all of my body below my neck. Someone asked me if I knew where they could get a good something, maybe a good meal. I pointed in some direction where I knew (and could see in my mind's eye) a good shop. I may have given some directions. The place was only a couple blocks away. But the person seemed confused. So I told the person I could lead her (?) to the place.
But for some reason, when I pointed out the directions, I'd managed to undo the blanket from being wrapped around my body. I exposed myself. I was wearing women's lingerie -- a purple cami and purple panties.
I said, "Oh, wait. I can't take you down to that place. I'm wearing the wrong clothes. I didn't realize, I must have left the museum in a hurry, before getting into regular clothes. I'll have to go back and change."
But the woman stopped me. She said, "Why do you need to change? You've walked all the way out here wearing nothing but that stuff. I don't think anybody's going to care if you keep on walking around like that."
I thought the woman was right. It didn't seem like anybody around us really worried about the way I looked. But I was still embarrassed. I figured I'd at least go back to the museum so I could put on a t-shirt and some jeans.
Dream #2
I was in a museum, maybe an astronomy museum. The museum was run by two of my old friends, ML and MK. The museum was kind of like a series of small, modular areas set into a lobby or atrium of a big building, like an office building.
I had been shuffling around the museum, kind of sticking to the outskirts of it, not really wanting to be seen by ML and MK. But now a young, black man came into the museum. He was talking with my friends. The young man sat on the floor, with his back to a structure that had a big enough gap in it (between two stone or concrete walls?) that I could see the young man and at least my friend ML.
The young man began discussing something about his schooling. He'd studied aerospace, and he was really interested in learning as much more as he could about space travel. So he'd come here to see about becoming a member or about taking more classes through the museum or something. ML was really impressed by the young man. He told the young man he'd get back in touch with him soon.
The young man left. ML now spoke out, either to MK or else to the whole room, so he'd know I'd hear him, talking about how good the young man was. This was possibly supposed to make me feel bad about myself so that I'd take a more active role in studying the stuff at the museum. I did get jealous. I walked out of hiding and began talking with ML, trying to prove that I had been diligently studying aerospace and astronomy for a long time now.
Dream #3
I was in trouble with somebody, possibly a woman. I'd been in the role of a teacher for a number of females of all different ages. But I'd told them something completely wrong about astronomy.
I'd told them something about the effect of something like gravity from stars. I had been telling the women that scientists could not make firm judgments about either the composition of certain stars, or maybe even about the existence of certain stars within small groupings of stars. This had something to do with gravity.
I'd told the girls that, at least with certain kinds of stars, you could get closer and closer to the stars without feeling any different gravitational effects from them than you felt at a far distance. I had an image in my head, as I remembered telling the girls this, of a white star like a sun dotted with a bluish star on one side and a blackish star on the other.
The woman asked me why I'd been spreading such harmful nonsense among the students. I was trying to remember if I'd meant to spread nonsense. It seemed to me, as I reflected, that I was telling what I'd thought was the truth.
I even had a memory of a video I'd seen discussing the phenomenon. I tried to remind the woman about this video. I now saw an image of a star with two smaller stars dotting it. I then saw an image of two white stars that were close to each other.
I knew that the video said that the phenomenon was the same for both kinds of star systems: you couldn't feel any different gravity that would determine the existence, or the composition, or certain stars within the system. It might not be felt until you got really close. But even then there might be some kind of cancellation effect that would make it seem like there was no gravitational force from the bodies at all.
I tried to remind the woman of the video that had said this. But I couldn't remember what the video was, or when we'd watched it. And the woman didn't want to hear what I was talking about. She told me that the only reason I'd said all this stuff was to make the girls I was teaching less worried about some upcoming events. The girls were all so worried about some upcoming celestial event that they didn't want to have sex with anybody. But I was trying to make them less worried, so they'd have sex -- with me.
I now saw a slide, an old style metal slide. It was indoors. The room the slide was in was mostly dark, with just the top meter or so of wall, right where the slide peaked, lit up all the way across the wall with some gentle, fluorescent light that was behind a white, opaque pane of plastic.
The girls were all up on the slide's ladder. As they got to the top, they'd slide down. Three or so girls would be on the slide at once, all kind of evenly spaced. As they slid, some of the girls may have had some kind of purple glop detaching from their bodies, sometimes from their bottoms and sometimes from their stomachs.
***
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from these dreams can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.
UPDATE 2: Drawing added for dream #1, July 16, 2012, 2:15 PM Mountain Standard Time.
Monday, May 14, 2012
earthquake in philadelphia; can't get served; gold and nature walkways
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
There was an earthquake in Philadelphia. A helicopter was flying over Philadelphia during the daytime, showing views of the earthquake's effects.
But now the roads throughout Philadelphia were starting to collapse. It caugh everybody by surprise. Whole roads would just crumble down into pits. People were driving along some of the roads. When the roads would crumble, the people on the roads could be heard screaming.
At first I may not have been in Philadelphia. But then I may have been. I may have told myself that I needed to get out of Philadelphia.
I was then in some big, public building with a lot of other people. We may not have been in Philadelphia. But we were allpreparing to head away somewhere.
I was walking through a long hallway maybe five meters wide. The hallway had brownish walls, like cinder blocks tiled over with brownish tile, and floors of orangeish carpet. There were big duffel bags, probably everybody's travel bags, running through the center of the hallway.
I was looking for my bags. I found them. I probably had three long, black duffel bags. I noticed that one of my notebooks or videotapes was sitting on top of one of my bags. I knew I hadn't taken anything out of my bags. So someone had gotten into my bags. I opened a bag full of notebooks and put my notebook or videotape back inside. I stood up and walked away.
I was now seeing from the helicopter's view again. The news was reporting that the street collapses in Philadelphia were becoming even worse. We watched as an entire block of one of the main streets in Philadelphia was upended, lifting up and then sliding down into a pit.
I was now in an SUV with a few other people. It may have been late afternoon. The sky was a cool, silvery blue, and we were driving all through shadow. I sat in the front passenger seat. The other people in the car seemed to be young, smart, professional, white males. One of the people in the car may have been one of my old bosses, DO.
We were driving through Philadelphia. The city appeared to be abandoned, empty. One or more of the guys may have been talking about the history of the city, but possibly also about the danger the city was in.
But I now noticed we weren't driving on the roads at all. We were driving over public lawns, through plazas and parking lots, and over the walkways in front of buildings. But we stayed off all the roads.
I may have asked why we were doing this. But then it seemed obvious. I said, "Oh! The roads are all collapsing still. So we're driving on all the other spaces, because none of them has collaps--"
One of the guys interrupted me. "Don't say anything. You don't wanna jinx it."
We continued driving on, past an old, kind of small, but very nice looking public building of grey stone and red brick.
Dream #2
I was in line for something like a coffee shop. The line was more like a cafeteria line, where you move sideways along a counter that can be used for sliding a meal tray along. All I wanted was a cup of coffee.
At the head of the line there was a small window. A man stood at the window to take everybody's orders. The man looked kind of young, but not in good shape. He had a fatty, but scraggly and hungry, kind of look. He had stubble and long hair. He wore a black t-shirt and a white baseball cap, which he had on backwards.
As soon as the man saw me, he told me he wasn't serving anybody else. He was going off shift. So he couldn't serve me. This kind of didn't make sense to me. There were a lot of people in line behind me. How could this guy just go off shift, with nobody around to take his place.
But now the guy addressed the guy directly behind me. He asked, "Can I help you?"
I looked at the worker and said, "You said you couldn't take my order because you were going off shift. Why are you telling this guy you can take his order? All I want is coffee."
The guy just sneered at me. He walked away. He may have told me that I could come back and get my own coffee. I may have walked, or at least looked, behind the counter. The area behind the counter was pretty big and complex. I didn't know whether I could find or fix the coffee.
Dream #3
I was walking through a museum with my old friend H and a man whom I didn't know, but who was probably a friend of ours. H and I decided that we were going somewhere else in the museum. We had to go up a small stairwell to get there. Before we went up the stairwell, the man with us told us goodbye and gave us some advice.
But now I noticed there were two stairwells. The stairwell on the left had a green sign over it saying "Nature Walkway." The stairwell on the right had a red sign saying "Gold Walkway." I knew we had been planning to go outdoors, and that the Nature Walkway was the way outside.
But we hadn't known about the Gold Walkway, which was some kind of exploratory exhibit about gold jewelry. H said, "Gold Walkway," like that was where we now had to go.
I said, "Nature Walkway."
H said, "Gold Walkway," again, quite firmly. I knew I couldn't argue with her. So we took the stairwell up to the Gold Walkway.
Just after the head of the stairwell was a small area kind of like a bookshop. There were just a few small shelves of books, and maybe a couple shelves displaying other sorts of gifts.
Just beyond the bookshop were men's and women's restrooms. H said we should probably go to the restroom before we started the exhibit. The women's restroom was on the left. The men's was on the right. I knew each restroom was single and private, with a locking door.
I told H I'd go to the men's restroom and meet her outside when we were through. But H told me she wanted to go to the men's restroom, too. I assumed this was because she wanted to do something sexual in there with me. I was a little shy at the thought of doing something sexual in a public restroom. But I felt like I should just go with whatever H wanted to do.
But for some reason H and I ended up not going into the same restroom. I finished up in the restroom and waiting for H to come out. I looked through the books in the bookshop. When we'd first come up here, the place had seemed empty. But now there were a few people. I felt shy and uncomfortable.
Now H came out of the restroom. She said something to me like, "Why were you in there for so long? I began to get worried about you. I thought something had happened to you, or that you'd left."
Sunday, May 13, 2012
nefertiti's shadow; big screen youtube diaper girl; hot day boy
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was in a car with my mom at night. We were driving along a very dark street and past a tall museum or library that stood in the center of a deep lawn. The museum, was tall, narrow, and octagonal, with a domed roof, somewhat like the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. The darkness of the surroundings and the light on the building gave me a visual sense of being in a grainy, black and white movie.
I knew that the famous bust of Queen Nefertiti was on display at this museum. I knew that somehow, even from this distance, one could get a glimpse of the bust, or at least a fragment of it, from over some wall.
I now saw something that appeared to be the edge of the statue. I pointed it out to my mom. What it ended up being, though, was something like a reflection and something like a shadow, cast up onto a ceiling or a high portion of a wall. It was like the top part of the outside wall was missing, revealing the tops of the inside walls of the room where the Nefertiti sculpture was located.
The reflection was like the reflection of the flat top of Nefertiti's headdress. It showed, in the oval shape of the flat top, something like the stamp of a cobra hieroglyph. Just to the right of this reflection was the shadow of the top half of Nefertiti's headdress. These images were very large against the ceiling.
My brother was now in the car. I was explaining something about all of this to him. I may have been telling him how this use of imagery was a teaser, to whet people's appetites, so they'd want to come into the museum to see the actual sculpture. We may soon afterwards have passed out of sight of the museum.
Dream #2
I was in bed in a kind of big room. On the wall beyond the foot of my bed was a giant flat screen TV. It took up almost half the wall. The room was dark, other than from the light it received from the TV screen. The TV seemed to be playing something off of YouTube.
But now the program had finished. A multi-screen screen appeared, like at the end of YouTube videos, where suggestions are listed, like little mini-screens, of what to watch next. But these mini-screens were all in something like lists, in rows and columns. Each row dealt with one specific video. The columns were different criteria regarding each video.
Apparently, all these videos were videos I had downloaded. I was getting a lot of criticism for my downloads. One column in particular dealt with dialogue, possibly ambient dialogue, in videos. In a number of my video downloads, it was claimed, I'd broken some ambient dialogue rule. The dialogue sounded real and natural. But people were claiming I'd scripted it all for recording, which was against the rules.
As far as I could tell, all the videos I'd downloaded had been from parties I'd gone to. All the thumbnail images were of dark, clublike settings, with pretty, drunk girls in view. I thought it should have been obvious that the dialogue in situations like that would be ambient, not scripted. So the claims against me had to be wrong.
And, at least for a few videos, the criticism against my downloads was a lot more specific. I actually felt like I could argue even more effectively against the more specific arguments. But the specifics were written so small in each cell that I couldn't read them from bed.
I stood up and walked to the screen. The screen was like a touchscreen, and even though the screen was so large and high up that I could only touch the bottom portion of it, I was managing to manipulate the imagery on the screen by touching the screen
I now realized that my downloads had actually been downloads of fetish videos. They all seemed to involve a preteen girl who wore diapers. I knew that this kind of stuff should probably have been kicked off of YouTube right from the start. But I was also excited and intrigued by the thumbnail images for the videos. I wanted to watch a video.
It was kind of a hassle to get access to a video -- but I can't remember why. But finally I got access to one of the videos. The girl in the video was on all fours, turned away from the screen. She kept on jiggling her bottom up and down really fast. It was supposed to be sexy or imitative of sex. But it struck me as silly and awkward.
I was now in some place that was possibly supposed to be a store. But it was more like a covered walkway in between two small buildings, like is sometimes seen in school or other multi-building institutional architecture, except with shelves like grocery store shelves in certain places. The sun was gentle and golden.
I was in between two rows of shelves. At least one set of shelves was filled with packs of diapers. The imagery on the diaper packs was mostly white and red. But there also appeared to be some rainbow lettering that made the packages seem more colorful than they really were.
Some man got my attention. I walked out from the shelves. The man was tall, a little chubby, possibly Hispanic, with dark, coppery skin. He wore a yellow t-shirt and had round, purple-lensed eyeglasses.
The man mentioned the videos I'd been watching. I knew it was no use trying not to sound interested in the videos. The man already knew I'd been aroused by them. So I simply asked the man how I could see more videos like that.
The man told me something that had to do with paying more attention to the packages of diapers I'd been looking at. The diapers themselves, or the sale of the diapers, was somehow linked to gaining more access to the videos.
The man walked away. I went back to look at the diapers. I may possibly have continued some kind of conversation in my head with the man.
Dream #3
I was in a car, possibly with my mother. We were probably driving through some parking lot at the edge of some kind of wide park or natural area.
There was some covered seating area, something like a bus stop, at the end of the parking lot. A few kids were hanging out around there.
I was in kind of a hurry to get home. I had some new access to some kind of fetish video -- probably diapered kids, like in the previous dream. I wanted to get home as soon as possible, so I could watch it.
But my mom saw the kids playing all around the shelter. She sped down to the shelter and swung-curved her car around to a stop near the shelter.
A little boy with light brown skin, really curly hair, and glasses ran up to the car. He looked kind of nerdy. But he also looked like a pain in the neck: a kid with kind of messy habits, no boundaries, and a tendency to do stupid things just because it annoyed people.
My mom had all the car doors open, so that the kid could get in if he wanted. My mom hadn't said anything straight out, but she was somehow indicating that she'd give the boy a ride home if he wanted it.
I didn't want to give the boy a ride home. I knew from experience that a ride home with him would be annoying as hell. But I also worried that the fetish material I was so excited about might be in the car right now. I didn't want to violate any kids by letting them see it.
At first it seemed like the boy didn't want a ride home, anyway. It seemed like he was going to try and be independent. The bus he was waiting for would arrive soon, anyway.
But suddenly the boy said, "But, man! Is it hot as heck outside today!" I knew this meant that the boy was going to want a ride home now.
I was somehow on the driver's side of the car, even though I may also still have been on the passenger side. The car was also really low to the ground, too.
The kid stood right next to me. I knew he was going to want to get in. I didn't want him to come in. But I knew he'd get in anyway. He'd already been given the invitation.
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