Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was "at my old job." I was in a break room. I had been really angry and made some kind of a scene and quit my job just a while ago. My boss walked in. He was pretty sure I hated him now. But I felt bad for having made such a scene. Even though I didn't say anything to my boss, I tried to show, by using non-violent body language, that I was sorry for what I'd done.
I was looking through a binder filled with clear plastic sleeves. The sleeves had small artworks inserted into them. The works varied in size, so that multiple works were fitted into each sleeve, each into its own pocket. The works were like prints, very blocky, almost like the fronts of old product boxes.
My boss left out a door on the wall behind me. He may have mentioned that he had to go to a meeting. I continued flipping through the pages. A while later, my boss came back. He may have been carrying a bag of fast food with him. He came up on my left side and handed me a stack of papers. There were two papers with handwritten messages on the bottom. He asked me if I could hand these papers directly to our office manager.
Just at that time, our office manager entered. She had been really upset by how I had acted. So I tried to show her how well I had patched everything up between myself and my boss by handing the papers directly to my boss that my boss had asked me to hand directly to the office manager (???).
The three of us all seemed to feel comfortable with each other again. I was sitting toward a corner on one of the long ends of the table now. I was still flipping through the binder of artworks. My boss may have been speaking with me, asking me about a specific project I'd need to take care of.
Dream #2
A view of an office. I'm not sure whether I was actually there. The view was probably of a lobby-like area, near the receptionist's desk. There were a few filing cabinets in the area as well. A tall, young man was speaking with another worker.
I started thinking about my whole choice of career paths. I thought about the very beginning of my career, when I'd been given the choice to work with a woman in one department of the company I'd been working for, or with a man in another department. I'd chosen to work with the man. But I started to wonder what would have happened had I worked with the woman, in the other department.
There was now a view of a backyard of a big house. It seemed to be autumn. Two girls were swinging on an improbably high swing. My view was floating up and down with the swaying of the swings. A man, whose voice I recognized as that of JM, one of my old co-workers, was either on the phone or had just gotten off the phone with one of his neighbors. JM then told his wife E that the neighbors would like the family to come over, so JM's daughters could play with the neighbors' daughters.
Dream #3
I was at some big place, probably something like a fair that was composed of indoor attractions and outdoor attractions. I had been inside one of the indoor attractions, a futuristic-looking, white tent at the end of a long plaza. But I had gone out to take care of something for one of my friends. I had probably left the tent and gone and taken care of everything by flying.
I was now flying back to the tent. I may not have been sure my friend was still there. I may actually have been worried that my friend was lost and that I'd need to go find him. I may have tried to continued to fly, but I may have gotten "gravitated" toward a different group of people.
I was -- somehow -- all tangled up with a member of this group: a kind of fat, pale man with long, frizzy hair and a goatee. He wore a t-shirt and shorts. I don't know what the heck kind of body I had, but the man had to untangle me from himself, like he would have had to untangle a purse from off his shoulders.
But the man did this naturally as he spoke with his friends. He was with three or four other people, a mix of men and women. The whole group of people seemed cool. But they were talking about some conspiracy theory having to do with the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki (although -- I'm not sure that Hiroshima was actually called "Hiroshima" in the dream).
The idea was that there was one person in each instance who was ultimately responsible for the dropping of the bombs. It was like these two people were the ones most affected by the feeling of moral responsibility. But the argument was that these two people had been silenced by the government because of their feelings of moral responsbility.
As the people discussed this, we all (I as some kind of flying entity that was still floating but was slowly descending toward the ground) turned up the walkway toward the futuristic tent. I eventually -- I think -- landed in a stroller. I was either an adult, sitting in a stroller like I was a baby; or else I had actually become a small child or baby sitting in the stroller.
The discussion of the conspiracy continued. But it didn't seem to me like there was much government involvement in this conspiracy. One of the guys, maybe the guy who'd dropped the bomb on Nagasaki, had simply committed suicide. But the other guy's story was a little weird. I listened to it as I descended (awkwardly, as I remember it) into the stroller, and as we passed a concrete structure that looked like an entrance to a subway station.
The man with the frizzy hair and goatee said, "The man asked the government to re-program him. If you were experiencing too much feeling of moral responsibility for what you'd done, the government could re-program you. They did it to some people involuntarily. But you could also request to be re-programmed. And this guy requested it, otherwise he was going to commit suicide.
"But just before he got re-programmed, he was arrested on some drug-related charge. Man... I can't imagine. I don't ever want to be in trouble because of any of that substance-related crap."
Dream #4
I was sitting at a dining table in some kind of communal area, like a really big version of a house's dining room. The atmosphere was really relaxed, even though there were quite a few people scattered among the various dining tables. People may have been watching a television that was somewhere.
My little niece walked up to me. She was wearing a little, white dress with baby blue fringes and probably a belt-like, baby blue ribbon at the waist. She also wore white spandex leggings and white tennis shoes.
She asked if she could sit on my lap. I said sure. She hopped up rather quickly and easily. I commented that she must have grown, because before it would have taken her some effort to get up onto my lap.
My niece sat with her legs straight out. She began squirming around a bit, humming a little tune, I guess like she thought she was dancing while she was sitting. So I grabbed her legs, probably at her shins or ankles. I began humming a classical music tune while moving her legs to the melody. It was a little difficult. I don't think my niece quite knew what I was doing or how to cooperate with the movements of my arms.
My niece asked what I was doing. I said, "It's a way to tell if your feet are awake. It's like saying, 'Hey, feet! Wake up!' And your feet will tell you if you're awake."
I suddenly had a view, either directly or in my mind's eye, of one of my feet. I said, "You can ask your foot, 'Are you awake?' And if your foot's awake, he'll move up and down, like this." I moved my foot laterally. "And if your foot's not awake, he'll move side to side, like this." I twisted my foot from side to side.
Dream #5
I was laying on the floor in the lobby of a doctor's office. Some people were with me, behind me, sitting on chairs. The doctor had just entered the room and was standing just inside the doorway, in front of me, but at a distance of maybe three meters. He was a white man with a slightly balding head of grey hair. He wore squarish eyeglasses and he had blue eyes. He wore something like a cardigan sweater, a button-up shirt, and slacks.
The doctor began explaining something about either his diagnostic techniques or medicine that he prescribed for people. He may have been talking about both things. He explained that his techniques were used to cure people of one of the most frequent causes of death in the United States. The doctor said, "The second most frequent cause of death in the United States, excepting suicide..." and he looked at me significantly.
I looked away from the doctor. He made me feel really uncomfortable. The doctor then went on to talk about the second most frequent cause of death. I don't think he ever mentioned the most frequent cause of death. But I think he did mention that in the United States, suicides were becoming so frequent that they were almost the third leading cause of death (???).
Dream #6
I was watching a young man perform some kind of athletic process. It was for some competition that he'd later be a part of. The young man was a clean-cut kid, like a stereotypical Olympic gymnast. He may have been white, but he may also have been Hispanic.
There was basically an orange wall. The left side of the wall had a yellow bar attached to it. To the right of the bar, at the same height as the bar, was a hoop, like a basketball hoop. Then to the right of that was a cube that jutted out from the wall, like it was a part of the wall. The top of the cube was the same height at the bar and the hoop. There were also a red light and a blue light, right next to each other, somewhere -- either over the bar or between the bar and the hoop.
The young man would descend through the bar, between the bar and the wall, then bounce right back upward through the bar. He would then descend through the hoop. At this point, during his practices, he would do some weird kind of move, where he'd bounce really high. (I'm not really sure how -- or where -- any of these "bounces" actually took place.) The young man would then have to aim himself really carefully so that he could latch onto the hoop. But he'd often miss the hoop altogether. If he caught onto the hoop, I think he'd swing himself onto the top of the cube platform.
The man may have practiced this a few times. I watched him. I provided encouragement. I may also have given a few small pieces of advice. The man, I think, ended the practice session with a better idea of what he wanted to do.
It was now the actual competition. All the time I was watching, I heard an announcer's voice. But I can't remember much of what he said.
The young man descended through the bar, then bounced up through the bar. He descended through the hoop. But this time, instead of bouncing way high into the air, he just bounced up to the level of the hoop. He latched directly onto the hoop.
This was a huge surprise for the announcer, who shouted out, "He's finally got it! What a move!" I could probably also hear a crowd cheering for the young man.
The man began swinging back and forth. I think he had to wait until the lights flashed either red or blue. Then he could swing himself off the hoop and onto the cube platform. The announcer cried, "If he can swing up onto the platform in time, he'll break the world record!"
The light finally flashed the correct color. The young man swung himself off the hoop. I wasn't sure he'd make it. But he flipped up and landed on the platform. The announcer cried, "One minute and three seconds! A new world record!"
I may have seen the time somewhere, maybe at the corner of my vision, as if I were looking at a TV screen, as 1:03.04. I also noticed how the wall on the other side of the cube was a window wall, showing, in the deep blue light of evening, a street scene, like Rockefeller Center, as if this place were part of the NBC studios.
I stood up and ran to the young man. The young man was now a copper skinned man, kind of skinny and scraggly looking, with long, shaggy hair that curled down over his forehead and eyes. He wore an orange tank top and shorts. And his eyes looked a little crazy.
The young man was really grateful to me because I'd supported him so much through his training. He hugged me passionately. I think he was sexually attracted to me, and that he was trying to break me out of my shell and make me sexually attracted to him, too.
The man crossed over some rope that separated the competition from the spectators. We stood by some big, comfortable chair. The man hugged me again, very passionately. I dropped something I'd been holding in my left hand, maybe a water bottle, into the chair.
I suddenly realized that I was sexually attracted to the young man as well. I really wanted to be somewhere alone with him as soon as possible. But I think at this point the young man walked away to go take care of some other stuff.
Dream #7
I was in an office, or actually a place more like a bank. The place looked very nice, with wood walls and wood desks. The desks were all spaced well apart, just like in the customer service area of a bank. Two people sat down before a desk. A woman sat down behind the desk. I either floated above this scene or stood behind the couple (although if I was standing, I must have been kind of tall).
The couple seemed to be kind of surprised to see the woman behind the desk. They were used to dealing with somebody else. But the woman behind the desk, a kind of young looking, Asian woman with a cute, round face and wearing a very prim black-grey skirt-suit and white button-up shirt, told the couple that the woman who usually helped them would not be able to help them today.
The way the woman said this implied that the original woman would never be able to help them again, like she'd either quit or been fired from the position. The couple was surprised. I think they wanted to know why they hadn't been informed of this. But they were too shy to ask the question right out. So they asked how long it had been since the woman had been unable to help her customers.
The new woman replied something like, "Well, she just started getting her stuff ready a few moments ago." This meant, I thought, that the woman had probably quit the job. She'd probably announced that she was quitting only fifteen minutes or so ago. And now the woman was packing up and leaving. The new woman was taking over the original woman's responsibilities immediately. But she wasn't upset by this. She even seemed to be gloating over the fact that the woman had left.
Showing posts with label ageplay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ageplay. Show all posts
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
shifting conference rooms; car misses bus; living funeral plans
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was "at work." The office space was huge and bright. The section I was mostly in was all just one big open space, divided into two levels. The back level was about 150cm higher than the front level. Most of the space was filled with desks.
There was a conference room along the left wall. My boss had almost the entire management team of one of our clients in the conference room. I was in there, too. But I got pulled out of the room by our office manager. She took me up to her desk at the back area. She told me some other people wanted to use the conference room. She asked me if the meeting we were doing in the conference room was so important.
I got really annoyed. I told the office manager, "Yes! It is important! We basically have the entire company in that room!" But the office manager was still giving me the idea that I needed to move everybody out of the conference room we were in. So I figured I'd take the request to my boss and see what he wanted to do about it.
But when I got back to the front of the area, everybody was gathered at an auditorium-like area that had been set up. A lot of rows of chairs had been set up facing the front wall. There were a stage and a screen along the front wall.
Someone was obviously going to give a presentation to the company. We were all just waiting for the presentation to start. All the management from the company had acknowledged me. It seemed that they liked having me around. I was happy with that.
But I got called away again, probably by the office manager. I had to have another discussion. When the discussion was finished, the presentation either had already started or was so close to starting that I didn't want to make any noise or distraction. There was a person sitting at the end of the row I had been sitting in. I didn't want to ask him to stand up so I could get back to my seat. So I just went a few rows back.
A woman from my work was sitting in a chair outside the rows of chairs, but near the row I was going to sit in. As I sat into the rows I said something to the woman like, "You'll see now what a good note-taker I am. I'm going to take really good notes on this presentation. Then I'll give them to the client. They'll be impressed."
But when I sat in the rows of chairs I realized that the backs of the chairs in front of me were huge. They were yellow plastic and they had grating designs on their backs, like school chairs. But they were probably as tall as a standing person. There also seemed to be a roof-like structure connecting the seat backs in front of me with the seat backs of my row of chairs. Because of all this, my view of the presentation was completely blocked.
I thought to myself, Well, I don't need to see to take notes. I can just listen. But I knew it wasn't good enough. If I didn't see the PowerPoint presentation, I'd miss a lot of stuff that I'd want to take notes on. I'd have to do my best. But it was a pretty bad situation.
Dream #2
I was in a car, but it was also like I had just walked out of some building. It was like I was standing right outside the doors of a building, but also like I was in a car. The building was a city official building. It was big, kind of modern looking. The daylight and coolness of the atmosphere felt like morning time on a nice, clear summer day. The shadow of the building was deep and cool.
I "walked out" of the building (in the car) with my brother and a bunch of other guys. I was in the driver's seat. My brother was in the front passenger seat. The other guys were all crowded tight together in the back seat. The guys all seemed to be tough, maybe a little impatient, but good natured overall.
There was a bus across the parking lot from us. At this point in the parking lot, the lot was just a small strip of asphalt with a special area for buses built right into it. I knew this was the bus I needed to catch. But it looked like the bus was leaving soon.
For some reason it was really hard for me to move away from the building. I think it may have had to do with the guys in the back. The bus pulled away. I knew I missed the bus. I'd have to wait a long time to catch the next bus.
I was annoyed at the guys. They'd made me miss my bus. But I knew I couldn't show my frustration with them. If they felt offended at all, they'd turn violent. So I just acted like nothing was wrong. I just focused on getting across to the bus stop and saying all the time that the bus must be coming soon.
But as I moved across the parking lot, I looked up to my left. Another bus, just like the one that had just left, was now approaching the bus stop. I was pretty sure I could still get where I needed to go by getting onto this bus.
I got up to the bus stop. I was standing out at the bus stop now -- not driving a car or in a car, like I'd been before. The bus arrived. The doors opened. Before getting on, I asked the bus driver if this bus could take me where I needed to go.
Dream #3
I was a little kid, probably a little boy, but maybe a little girl. My view was all in black and white, as if, even though I was seeing through "my own eyes," I was also watching a movie. I was siblings with one of the other children. I'm not sure about the rest. My sibling was probably the opposite gender of whatever I was.
My sibling and I had a grandparent who was dying. The grandparent, probably our grandfather, was in the hospital. He was still conscious. But it was obvious he was going to die very soon. My sibling and I wanted to have a funeral for him before he died. That way he could be a part of it and see how much he meant to everybody around him.
But our parents, and possibly even our older siblings, didn't take any of our efforts seriously. So we had to enlist the help of our friends. I remember some views of me and my sibling at a computer screen. I also remember a view, through a hospital room doorway, of our grandfather in bed.
Eventually what me and my sibling were doing seemed like it could be practical. It was starting to take shape. It was probably going to work. At this point, our older siblings, and maybe even our parents, joined in. But when they joined in they basically took over everything about the project. They gave me and my sibling some little job to do, something that was useless, as if it was the only thing we could handle, even though we'd previously been in charge of everything.
Dream #1
I was "at work." The office space was huge and bright. The section I was mostly in was all just one big open space, divided into two levels. The back level was about 150cm higher than the front level. Most of the space was filled with desks.
There was a conference room along the left wall. My boss had almost the entire management team of one of our clients in the conference room. I was in there, too. But I got pulled out of the room by our office manager. She took me up to her desk at the back area. She told me some other people wanted to use the conference room. She asked me if the meeting we were doing in the conference room was so important.
I got really annoyed. I told the office manager, "Yes! It is important! We basically have the entire company in that room!" But the office manager was still giving me the idea that I needed to move everybody out of the conference room we were in. So I figured I'd take the request to my boss and see what he wanted to do about it.
But when I got back to the front of the area, everybody was gathered at an auditorium-like area that had been set up. A lot of rows of chairs had been set up facing the front wall. There were a stage and a screen along the front wall.
Someone was obviously going to give a presentation to the company. We were all just waiting for the presentation to start. All the management from the company had acknowledged me. It seemed that they liked having me around. I was happy with that.
But I got called away again, probably by the office manager. I had to have another discussion. When the discussion was finished, the presentation either had already started or was so close to starting that I didn't want to make any noise or distraction. There was a person sitting at the end of the row I had been sitting in. I didn't want to ask him to stand up so I could get back to my seat. So I just went a few rows back.
A woman from my work was sitting in a chair outside the rows of chairs, but near the row I was going to sit in. As I sat into the rows I said something to the woman like, "You'll see now what a good note-taker I am. I'm going to take really good notes on this presentation. Then I'll give them to the client. They'll be impressed."
But when I sat in the rows of chairs I realized that the backs of the chairs in front of me were huge. They were yellow plastic and they had grating designs on their backs, like school chairs. But they were probably as tall as a standing person. There also seemed to be a roof-like structure connecting the seat backs in front of me with the seat backs of my row of chairs. Because of all this, my view of the presentation was completely blocked.
I thought to myself, Well, I don't need to see to take notes. I can just listen. But I knew it wasn't good enough. If I didn't see the PowerPoint presentation, I'd miss a lot of stuff that I'd want to take notes on. I'd have to do my best. But it was a pretty bad situation.
Dream #2
I was in a car, but it was also like I had just walked out of some building. It was like I was standing right outside the doors of a building, but also like I was in a car. The building was a city official building. It was big, kind of modern looking. The daylight and coolness of the atmosphere felt like morning time on a nice, clear summer day. The shadow of the building was deep and cool.
I "walked out" of the building (in the car) with my brother and a bunch of other guys. I was in the driver's seat. My brother was in the front passenger seat. The other guys were all crowded tight together in the back seat. The guys all seemed to be tough, maybe a little impatient, but good natured overall.
There was a bus across the parking lot from us. At this point in the parking lot, the lot was just a small strip of asphalt with a special area for buses built right into it. I knew this was the bus I needed to catch. But it looked like the bus was leaving soon.
For some reason it was really hard for me to move away from the building. I think it may have had to do with the guys in the back. The bus pulled away. I knew I missed the bus. I'd have to wait a long time to catch the next bus.
I was annoyed at the guys. They'd made me miss my bus. But I knew I couldn't show my frustration with them. If they felt offended at all, they'd turn violent. So I just acted like nothing was wrong. I just focused on getting across to the bus stop and saying all the time that the bus must be coming soon.
But as I moved across the parking lot, I looked up to my left. Another bus, just like the one that had just left, was now approaching the bus stop. I was pretty sure I could still get where I needed to go by getting onto this bus.
I got up to the bus stop. I was standing out at the bus stop now -- not driving a car or in a car, like I'd been before. The bus arrived. The doors opened. Before getting on, I asked the bus driver if this bus could take me where I needed to go.
Dream #3
I was a little kid, probably a little boy, but maybe a little girl. My view was all in black and white, as if, even though I was seeing through "my own eyes," I was also watching a movie. I was siblings with one of the other children. I'm not sure about the rest. My sibling was probably the opposite gender of whatever I was.
My sibling and I had a grandparent who was dying. The grandparent, probably our grandfather, was in the hospital. He was still conscious. But it was obvious he was going to die very soon. My sibling and I wanted to have a funeral for him before he died. That way he could be a part of it and see how much he meant to everybody around him.
But our parents, and possibly even our older siblings, didn't take any of our efforts seriously. So we had to enlist the help of our friends. I remember some views of me and my sibling at a computer screen. I also remember a view, through a hospital room doorway, of our grandfather in bed.
Eventually what me and my sibling were doing seemed like it could be practical. It was starting to take shape. It was probably going to work. At this point, our older siblings, and maybe even our parents, joined in. But when they joined in they basically took over everything about the project. They gave me and my sibling some little job to do, something that was useless, as if it was the only thing we could handle, even though we'd previously been in charge of everything.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
sex or work?; lost biking in india
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
It was the middle of night in winter. I was probably in a car with a couple other people. We were probably out on a road deep in the woods. The snow was deep all around us. It was hard for us to get through wherever we were right then. But we were already preparing for a storm that would be even worse. It was snowing a little bit, even now.
The person who was driving the car was like our manager at wherever we worked. He may have been a black man, kind of tall, with a kind of big build. We were all going to our place of work. Our manager was telling us a number of things we needed to keep in mind as we prepared for the storm. He also told us that we should expect to be at our place of work for a while, because once the storm started we would probably be stuck right where we were.
We were now in some big place that kind of looked like a ski lodge. This was where I worked. It was a little dim. But it was full of people. Everybody seemed to be partying and having a good time. I was sitting on the right end of a couch. Two women sat directly to my left. Another person, somebody from my work, sat on a couch opposite mine.
The two women seemed to be talking to each other and to the person across from me. The woman right next to me was really looking for some boy to take home with her. But the woman to her left was making some argument against it. She was saying something like, In this kind of storm, you didn't need to make a long-term commitment with somebody. It would be way too difficult.
But the woman next to me said, "I'm not looking for a long-term commitment. I'm just looking for sex! I want a boy who wants to go home with me for the night."
I'd had the feeling that the woman had thought I was cute for a little while. But now I understood she was basically telling me flat out that she wanted to take me home with her. But for some reason I was still shy. I didn't want to respond to her, because I didn't know if she really liked me.
The woman must have been able to see this. She twisted around and grabbed me up in her arms. It was suddenly like I was so small, like maybe a nine- or ten-year-old boy! The woman was so huge to me -- especially her breasts. The woman basically just shoved my face right into her breasts and began snuggling me. The woman asked me, "What do you say? Do you want to come home with me for the night, little boy?"
Just being enveloped in the beautiful woman's body the way I was, I felt so aroused and so comfortable. I did want to go home with the woman -- as soon as possible. But I remembered that I was scheduled to work. We were going to have the big storm. I needed to be here to work the big storm. How could I just leave my job at the time when they needed me the most, just to go off and have sex?
But I knew if I didn't at least go ask my manager if I could get the evening off from work, the woman would be disappointed in me. The woman was still cradling me in her arms. But I was thinking of how, when I could get up, I could best phrase the request to my boss. I wanted to make it sound like it was some kind of real emergency, so my boss would let me go.
Dream #2
I was apparently in India with a male friend. It was daytime, and we were biking through some kind of desert. It was a hot, sunny day. My friend and I had gotten into some small argument about where we were going to go next. We were on a dirt trail I believe. But we had gone along a number of different trails, and now I may have felt like I wasn't going to be able to see what I'd wanted to see.
Somehow my friend and I got our issues resolved. (The resolution of these issues, oddly enough, may have involved the intercession of a huge, talking bird, kind of like a pale, mutated vulture that was almost the size of a human.) We had decided which path we were going to take. But my friend was still kind of being a jerk to me. So I decided that while we were biking, I would keep at a distance from him. I'd start really slow and then stay far behind him, so he couldn't talk to me.
Now the path we were going along was a concrete path. We may have been a lot closer to a city, too. We started out by going down a kind of steep slope. The slope led to a grassy and tree-filled area around a river. But my friend had turned off on one path, while I either purposely or accidentally missed the path. Instead, I turned off to the left. I was now riding along a path on the opposite side of the river from my friend. I was also riding above the river, instead of at a level kind of below it, like my friend was.
I was a little worried. I didn't want to lose my friend, and I didn't want my friend to think he'd lost me. But when I looked out to my right, and just a little way ahead of me, I could see my friend on his path. He didn't seem to be aware, yet, that he'd lost me.
I figured I'd speed up. As long as I kept pace with my friend, from my path, then I could join back up with him. I knew that just a ways ahead the path curved right, with the river. I had the feeling that, just after the path curved right, there was a little section that ran back over the river. I could cross the river at that section and meet back up with my friend.
At this point, my friend may have realized that he'd lost me. He looked around. Then he saw me on the path across the river. He may have held his arms out, as if to ask, "What do we do now?"
I tried to shout something like, "Keep in touch with my by phones!" or, "Keep in touch with me by texting!" But I may have lost my friend's view around the curve as I was saying this.
I figured that my friend wouldn't have any idea that he was supposed to wait for me just around the curve. And he seemed to be riding even faster now. I'd have to speed up to get to the crossing point ahead of my friend, so I could meet him there, not have him go ahead of me and keep riding away.
There was a chain-link fence along my left side. Past the fence was a slight, grassy slope. Just beyond that I could see some big buildings, some of which kind of shone white in the sunlight. I knew that we must have been close to a town by now.
But now whole crowds of people came walking down the slope. They crossed through the fence and walked out onto the concrete path. Nobody was paying attention to me. I had to dodge everybody on the path. I managed to do so and keep up my speed for a little while. But then there were too many people on the path. I had to slow down a lot to keep from hitting people.
But now I could see that a whole lot more people were coming down the slope. I realized that I was in the middle of some big festival. The people may have come here to do something like wash in the river. But pretty soon this whole path, as well as the land, down to the river, would be filled with people. I knew it wouldn't be a matter of riding slowly. I'd have to get off my bike altogether. Even then, I probably wouldn't be able to walk. I'd probably be at a total standstill during the ceremony.
Dream #1
It was the middle of night in winter. I was probably in a car with a couple other people. We were probably out on a road deep in the woods. The snow was deep all around us. It was hard for us to get through wherever we were right then. But we were already preparing for a storm that would be even worse. It was snowing a little bit, even now.
The person who was driving the car was like our manager at wherever we worked. He may have been a black man, kind of tall, with a kind of big build. We were all going to our place of work. Our manager was telling us a number of things we needed to keep in mind as we prepared for the storm. He also told us that we should expect to be at our place of work for a while, because once the storm started we would probably be stuck right where we were.
We were now in some big place that kind of looked like a ski lodge. This was where I worked. It was a little dim. But it was full of people. Everybody seemed to be partying and having a good time. I was sitting on the right end of a couch. Two women sat directly to my left. Another person, somebody from my work, sat on a couch opposite mine.
The two women seemed to be talking to each other and to the person across from me. The woman right next to me was really looking for some boy to take home with her. But the woman to her left was making some argument against it. She was saying something like, In this kind of storm, you didn't need to make a long-term commitment with somebody. It would be way too difficult.
But the woman next to me said, "I'm not looking for a long-term commitment. I'm just looking for sex! I want a boy who wants to go home with me for the night."
I'd had the feeling that the woman had thought I was cute for a little while. But now I understood she was basically telling me flat out that she wanted to take me home with her. But for some reason I was still shy. I didn't want to respond to her, because I didn't know if she really liked me.
The woman must have been able to see this. She twisted around and grabbed me up in her arms. It was suddenly like I was so small, like maybe a nine- or ten-year-old boy! The woman was so huge to me -- especially her breasts. The woman basically just shoved my face right into her breasts and began snuggling me. The woman asked me, "What do you say? Do you want to come home with me for the night, little boy?"
Just being enveloped in the beautiful woman's body the way I was, I felt so aroused and so comfortable. I did want to go home with the woman -- as soon as possible. But I remembered that I was scheduled to work. We were going to have the big storm. I needed to be here to work the big storm. How could I just leave my job at the time when they needed me the most, just to go off and have sex?
But I knew if I didn't at least go ask my manager if I could get the evening off from work, the woman would be disappointed in me. The woman was still cradling me in her arms. But I was thinking of how, when I could get up, I could best phrase the request to my boss. I wanted to make it sound like it was some kind of real emergency, so my boss would let me go.
Dream #2
I was apparently in India with a male friend. It was daytime, and we were biking through some kind of desert. It was a hot, sunny day. My friend and I had gotten into some small argument about where we were going to go next. We were on a dirt trail I believe. But we had gone along a number of different trails, and now I may have felt like I wasn't going to be able to see what I'd wanted to see.
Somehow my friend and I got our issues resolved. (The resolution of these issues, oddly enough, may have involved the intercession of a huge, talking bird, kind of like a pale, mutated vulture that was almost the size of a human.) We had decided which path we were going to take. But my friend was still kind of being a jerk to me. So I decided that while we were biking, I would keep at a distance from him. I'd start really slow and then stay far behind him, so he couldn't talk to me.
Now the path we were going along was a concrete path. We may have been a lot closer to a city, too. We started out by going down a kind of steep slope. The slope led to a grassy and tree-filled area around a river. But my friend had turned off on one path, while I either purposely or accidentally missed the path. Instead, I turned off to the left. I was now riding along a path on the opposite side of the river from my friend. I was also riding above the river, instead of at a level kind of below it, like my friend was.
I was a little worried. I didn't want to lose my friend, and I didn't want my friend to think he'd lost me. But when I looked out to my right, and just a little way ahead of me, I could see my friend on his path. He didn't seem to be aware, yet, that he'd lost me.
I figured I'd speed up. As long as I kept pace with my friend, from my path, then I could join back up with him. I knew that just a ways ahead the path curved right, with the river. I had the feeling that, just after the path curved right, there was a little section that ran back over the river. I could cross the river at that section and meet back up with my friend.
At this point, my friend may have realized that he'd lost me. He looked around. Then he saw me on the path across the river. He may have held his arms out, as if to ask, "What do we do now?"
I tried to shout something like, "Keep in touch with my by phones!" or, "Keep in touch with me by texting!" But I may have lost my friend's view around the curve as I was saying this.
I figured that my friend wouldn't have any idea that he was supposed to wait for me just around the curve. And he seemed to be riding even faster now. I'd have to speed up to get to the crossing point ahead of my friend, so I could meet him there, not have him go ahead of me and keep riding away.
There was a chain-link fence along my left side. Past the fence was a slight, grassy slope. Just beyond that I could see some big buildings, some of which kind of shone white in the sunlight. I knew that we must have been close to a town by now.
But now whole crowds of people came walking down the slope. They crossed through the fence and walked out onto the concrete path. Nobody was paying attention to me. I had to dodge everybody on the path. I managed to do so and keep up my speed for a little while. But then there were too many people on the path. I had to slow down a lot to keep from hitting people.
But now I could see that a whole lot more people were coming down the slope. I realized that I was in the middle of some big festival. The people may have come here to do something like wash in the river. But pretty soon this whole path, as well as the land, down to the river, would be filled with people. I knew it wouldn't be a matter of riding slowly. I'd have to get off my bike altogether. Even then, I probably wouldn't be able to walk. I'd probably be at a total standstill during the ceremony.
Friday, July 13, 2012
new youtube feature; desert spiral
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was out at a busy street intersection in a suburban neighborhood. It was probably mid-afternoon, and the sun was behind a few patches of clouds.
But I was more concerned with some conversation I was having, probably with a young woman and an older woman. The conversation was in my head. I kept having visions cloud my sight, too. The conversation was all about some new (???) feature YouTube was adding. The feature would allow you to put your drawings onto a video. You could then also put music behind the video.
I was thinking of putting some of my own drawings onto YouTube using this new feature. I may have been planning out how to put everything on. My visions were probably of drawings that I'd made.
Dream #2
A woman was driving a car down a road in a small desert town on a summer day. I was probably in the car with the woman. The woman was something like a sales person for a brokerage firm. She was complaining about something that was going on at her firm. She thought she might quit.
We drove past a kind of official looking building -- like a government building built in the mid-twentieth century. It was probably a weird mix of brick boxiness and an older style, with odd, stray, white pilasters. After the official building, we were on the outskirts of town. We drove along a bare patch of desert for a bit. Then we were at some kind of factory, like a gravel mill or asphalt factory, with the conveyor belt that takes the material up to the top of some silo.
The woman was talking about some aspect of her job that was particularly annoying her. The way the woman was talking about it, it seemed like this problem could wreck the whole company. The woman may have wanted to talk to somebody about it. But she might not have thought it was any use.
The scene started over again, except that this time we were deeper into the heart of the small desert town. I first heard a narrator talk about desert towns like this that had been doing very well a few decades ago. The narrator asked, "What made these towns go bad? What caused their downfall?"
The woman and I now approached a T-like intersection. We turned left and were driving past the official building again. This time the woman seemed to be talking to somebody. It may have been like she was on the phone with somebody. It may also have been like she was actually talking to somebody at her office, while she was at her office -- like she was in two places at once, and I could see, or at least feel, both places. The woman was still complaining about the bad stuff going on at her work.
We drove past the barren patch of desert. When we reached the factory, the woman stopped the car. She had received some phone call or some kind of notification saying that she needed to get out of the car and get information. The woman got out. I stayed in the car.
The woman was now walking back to the car. For some reason, I was turned around in the front seat, sitting down on the floor, so that most of my body was down in the foot area, and just my chest and arms were resting on the seat. The woman wasn't in the car yet. But I could hear her talking to somebody. She was saying, "Great. This is just great! I just lost a client. That client did 600 meetings through us last year!"
At first this didn't make sense. How could one client do 600 meetings? Then I realized that a big client could have a number of people as contacts. The contacts could meet with each of the various people at the brokerage firm. And, even if a single person from the client's firm only met with someone at our firm a few times a year, all the meetings would add up. 600 meetings was possible. That meant a lot of money. And that was a lot of money to lose.
The woman was now criticizing me. She said something like, "And I'd expect Preemie to stand up for me a little, and help me deal with some of the things people are doing really wrong around here. But will Preemie stand up? No! He'd rather just hang around, being all distracted, and acting like a little kid!"
I felt ashamed of myself. But I looked at what I was doing in the car. I was still seated in that backwards, on-the-floor way. I was now flipping through some pages of a top-bound, gum-bound notebook. I was shocked. I'd thought this notebook had been all used up. But as I looked through it, I saw that some of the pages had only two or three words on them. The rest of the page would be blank. And the two or three words on the page were always kind of nonsense, silly little phrases that obviously had nothing to do with work.
I was now in a bedroom. It felt like I was still in the desert. The bedroom was yellow with summer light. I had been sitting or laying on the floor. I stood up. I might have seen just a little bit out of a window to my right. I may have seen out to a sandy beach, with the ocean rolling slightly under a swaying breeze.
I turned to my left and looked into a wide, roomy closet. I had either just finished doing laundry or just received a pile of finished laundry from someone. The laundry now all lay on the top shelf of the closet, just above my eye level. I was going to start sorting and folding it.
But I noticed two shirts that weren't mine. The shirts belonged to my brother-in-law. Both shirts were button-up. They may both have been short sleeved. One was grey with orange, flame-like patterns running up it. The other may have been white with black patterns.
I didn't want anybody to think that I was trying to wear my brother-in-law's clothes. I didn't want anybody to think I was trying to be my brother-in-law. I also didn't want anybody to think that I was sexually attracted to my brother-in-law by my having his clothes in my bedroom. So I quickly brought the two shirts out to the living room.
The living room was big and dim, but kind of plain-looking, almost like the living room in a double-wide trailer. The back of the couch faced the hallway and kind of made a border to the living room. My sister, and probably my mom, stood before the couch. Walking up behind the couch, I threw the two shirts onto the top edge of the couch, with a pile of laundry that already lay there. My sister may have asked me a questions, which I may have answered.
I was now back in the car with the woman from the brokerage firm. We were just driving beside the official building. This time the woman was a little more determined. She was saying she was going to do something to change the way things were at the office. I felt determined, too. I felt like I was going to change things, too. I may even have said that I was going to change things.
Suddenly the car stopped. I could hear a young man's voice saying, "Nope! No, no, no."
My view faded into the view of a bedroom. I was laying on the floor, in a pile of blankets. The young man was sitting in a big, stuffed chair to my right, just at about where my shoulders and head were. The young man was skinny, kind of pale, and a little nerdy looking. She was curled up in the chair, with his knees up to his chest. He may have been wearing some chunky eyeglasses.
The young man told me something like, "Nope. You can't go anywhere yet. You're not ready." His reasoning for my not being ready may have been that I didn't have a good enough knowledge of the Spanish language yet.
Apparently the young man was like a guide for me. I was just starting college, and he had been here for a couple of years. So he was going to show me the ropes. He was a lot younger than I, and I thought that his way of acting like he knew more than I was kind of cute. So I decided to humor him and let him think he was my guide. I figured I would get away from him as soon as I could.
In addition to the Spanish he'd already mentioned, the young man told me a few things I'd need to know before I could really go around and do things. One of the things may have been Latin. The other thing, which the young man told me about like it was a great secret, was "COGS."
I wondered why COGS was such a secret. I wondered what it could mean. I said, "Isn't COGS just cost of goods--"
The young man shushed me. He shook his head and said something like, "It's a secret. You're not ready to know it yet." He then pointed over to the right side (his right) of the chair.
I assented. I thought, Well, then it couldn't be what I thought it was. Maybe it had something to do with Spanish or Latin.
But now the young man stood up out of his chair. He may have been carrying a couple of very large straws, like for drinking soda. He walked around to my right side and knelt beside me. He whispered in my ear. "It's a secret. But I'll go ahead and tell you what it is."
The young man now stood up and walked back over to the chair. He reached over the right side of the chair and pulled out a can of Pepsi and a cup of jalapenos. I understood that the young man was going to mix the two things together. I said, "Oh, pepper-flavored Pepsi! That's a great idea!"
The young man didn't mix the Pepsi and the jalapenos. It was more like they just became a new can of Pepsi, a pepper-flavored Pepsi. The young man may actually have had two cans like this.
Two little children, a boy and a girl, came into the room. They jumped up on the chair with the young man. The young man's chair was now very big -- or it may have been broken into three pieces, so that the young man sat on the chair piece, while the two kids sat on something like footstools that faced the young man. And the chairs seemed to be elevated, like they were at the top of a pole. I myself was now elevated, like I was looking at everything from the top bunk of a bunk bed.
The young man held two cans of pepper Pepsi. He had a long straw in each can. The kids took a straw and tasted the Pepsi. Neither kid really liked it. The boy thought it was awful. It may even have been so hot that it burned his mouth. But the girl just thought it tasted kind of funny. She may actually have made a suggestion for making it taste better.
But now the kids were both really tired. So the young man decided that it was time for them to go to bed. The young man left the room. The kids each got onto a bed. The beds were all cluttered with bedding and other stuff. The lights in the bedroom stayed on.
I kind of lost interest in the boy. I watched the little girl as she got into bed. I thought the little girl was cute. For some reason I thought that the little girl was attracted to me, and that she wanted to get my attention. She'd do things like shift around in her bed, trying to get into the same position in her bed that I was in in my bed. I was flattered, and I thought it was really cute. So, without exactly responding to her, I would smile and chuckle a little.
I think at this point, my mother may have been in my bed, too, sitting with her back against the wall and her legs on top of my legs, over my blanket. My bed was cluttered with a lot of stuff, too, like the kids' beds. My mom may just have seemed like a part of the clutter.
I was looking at a few different clothing catalogs. Some of them may have been lingerie catalogs. But none of the catalogs used actual models. They all used mannequins, either full or partial mannequins. And sometimes, the mannequins were arranged in circle or star patterns, or other patterns that made the brightly-colored clothing they wore look more like paint samples.
I thought all the clothing the mannequins wore was sexy, in a kind of cheap way. The fabric was all cheap, and the colors were way gaudy. But I liked the feeling of being cheap like that. And I was thinking I might like some of those female fashions or lingerie for myself.
The little girl was still shifting around in the bed. But now she had a big beanbag chair propped up behind her back. There may even have been a parasol propped into the back of the beanbag chair. I thought to myself, Wow, that girl really is trying to lay down exactly in the position that I'm laying down in! But now I started to wonder whether that was true.
Finally, I think the little girl was annoyed by my constantly looking over at her. She called out for somebody, maybe a man. I realized that the little girl was trying to lay down in bed exactly like some man she was attracted to. The man was a real man: a strong, tough man. The little girl wanted the man in bed with her. And sometimes he would come around to be with her. But when he couldn't, she would try to lay down in bed exactly like he did.
I don't think the man was around. But I heard my sister come in the door, possibly with her best friend. The little girl was so happy to hear my sister come in the door that she shouted with glee. I stood up out of bed and walked into the hallway. My sister and her best friend were just walking into the house. They were in the living room, which was at the end of the long, long hallway. They may have sat down a bunch of shopping bags.
I knew that my sister hadn't eaten yet. But it was some holiday, and my mom had fixed some kind of sausage stew. There was a whole, big pot of the stew, I knew, in the kitchen. So I walked into the kitchen to tell my sister about it. As I waited for my sister to come into the kitchen, I kind of felt hungry myself. So I thought I would grab myself a bowl of the sausage stew.
My sister came into the kitchen. She was holding a tall, clear drinking glass full of sausage stew. I told my sister that our mom had fixed sausage stew for the holiday. My sister said she knew. My sister told me a few other things that made me understand that while my sister had been away (maybe at work?) she had worried that everybody would have eaten the sausage stew, and that there would be none for her. My sister had even brought herself a glass of sausage stew (from her work?) in case there wasn't any left at home.
But I knew there was plenty of stew here. We stood beside the fridge. There was a huge pot beside the fridge. There was also, I thought, a huge pot inside the fridge. And I was pretty sure there was a huge pot on the counter opposite the fridge.
I was still trying to get myself a bowl of stew. But, even while she was still talking to me rather calmly, as I went to grab some stew out of the pot by the fridge, my sister clamped her hand down on my arm, forcing it down to the counter and keeping me immobile. I knew she was trying to get me to be considerate and wait until she'd gotten some stew before I went back for more. But I struggled and struggled with my sister. Finally my sister either just gave up or disappeared.
I felt bad that I'd struggled with my sister. I looked at the pot of stew. It really didn't look like there was much left. I opened the fridge, looking for the other pot of stew. But there was no stew in the fridge.
The fridge didn't close all the way. There was a huge plastic bin of food on the floor keeping the fridge door open. The food was all in baggies. I couldn't tell what it was. So I pulled it out and looked at it, thinking that maybe I shouldn't have any more stew, but that, if I could find something else good to eat, I would. I sat the big bin on the counter. But, looking closely, I could see that the baggies were all full of stuff like jellybeans. I realized this was just stuff for my sister's children's school lunches.
I put the bin back. I started looking for the pots of stew again. But I couldn't find anything. Eventually I somehow ended up getting distracted by a computer screen that was maybe at the back end of the kitchen. There was some internet page up. The page had a black background and purplish lettering. The page was all about food people ate on whatever holiday this was. There was a photo of sausage stew. Suddenly sausage stew filled my field of view -- kind of all stretched out, like it was being wobbled through an anamorphic lens.
I was now in a big, very nice living room with my mom, my sister, my brother-in-law, and a couple of their friends. The room was filled with yellow light. The living room opened up to another spacious room that I couldn't quite see. Everybody seemed to be coming out of that room.
My mom said something like, "RC from our old neighborhood died. He had a kidney issue. It was fatal. The doctors knew it. It started with the digestion. Then he had a quick, acute pain, and he went unconscious. The doctors always know, with a quick, acute pain, that the kidney issue is fatal. If it's something they can cure, you generally don't feel the pain first."
My brother-in-law asked, "Oh, really? So if you feel the pain, then you know the kidney disease is fatal? And you go unconscious, too? Well, what I also heard was it was in the digestion. His digestion was really bad. He ate really terribly."
I imagined the "kidney" being something more like an appendix, or like some kind of little knob coming off of the intestines. I imagined it getting bright yellow.
***
UPDATE: Added two drawings to dream #2, July 13, 2012, 2:05 PM, Mountain Standard Time.
Dream #1
I was out at a busy street intersection in a suburban neighborhood. It was probably mid-afternoon, and the sun was behind a few patches of clouds.
But I was more concerned with some conversation I was having, probably with a young woman and an older woman. The conversation was in my head. I kept having visions cloud my sight, too. The conversation was all about some new (???) feature YouTube was adding. The feature would allow you to put your drawings onto a video. You could then also put music behind the video.
I was thinking of putting some of my own drawings onto YouTube using this new feature. I may have been planning out how to put everything on. My visions were probably of drawings that I'd made.
Dream #2
A woman was driving a car down a road in a small desert town on a summer day. I was probably in the car with the woman. The woman was something like a sales person for a brokerage firm. She was complaining about something that was going on at her firm. She thought she might quit.
We drove past a kind of official looking building -- like a government building built in the mid-twentieth century. It was probably a weird mix of brick boxiness and an older style, with odd, stray, white pilasters. After the official building, we were on the outskirts of town. We drove along a bare patch of desert for a bit. Then we were at some kind of factory, like a gravel mill or asphalt factory, with the conveyor belt that takes the material up to the top of some silo.
The woman was talking about some aspect of her job that was particularly annoying her. The way the woman was talking about it, it seemed like this problem could wreck the whole company. The woman may have wanted to talk to somebody about it. But she might not have thought it was any use.
The scene started over again, except that this time we were deeper into the heart of the small desert town. I first heard a narrator talk about desert towns like this that had been doing very well a few decades ago. The narrator asked, "What made these towns go bad? What caused their downfall?"
The woman and I now approached a T-like intersection. We turned left and were driving past the official building again. This time the woman seemed to be talking to somebody. It may have been like she was on the phone with somebody. It may also have been like she was actually talking to somebody at her office, while she was at her office -- like she was in two places at once, and I could see, or at least feel, both places. The woman was still complaining about the bad stuff going on at her work.
We drove past the barren patch of desert. When we reached the factory, the woman stopped the car. She had received some phone call or some kind of notification saying that she needed to get out of the car and get information. The woman got out. I stayed in the car.
The woman was now walking back to the car. For some reason, I was turned around in the front seat, sitting down on the floor, so that most of my body was down in the foot area, and just my chest and arms were resting on the seat. The woman wasn't in the car yet. But I could hear her talking to somebody. She was saying, "Great. This is just great! I just lost a client. That client did 600 meetings through us last year!"
At first this didn't make sense. How could one client do 600 meetings? Then I realized that a big client could have a number of people as contacts. The contacts could meet with each of the various people at the brokerage firm. And, even if a single person from the client's firm only met with someone at our firm a few times a year, all the meetings would add up. 600 meetings was possible. That meant a lot of money. And that was a lot of money to lose.
The woman was now criticizing me. She said something like, "And I'd expect Preemie to stand up for me a little, and help me deal with some of the things people are doing really wrong around here. But will Preemie stand up? No! He'd rather just hang around, being all distracted, and acting like a little kid!"
I felt ashamed of myself. But I looked at what I was doing in the car. I was still seated in that backwards, on-the-floor way. I was now flipping through some pages of a top-bound, gum-bound notebook. I was shocked. I'd thought this notebook had been all used up. But as I looked through it, I saw that some of the pages had only two or three words on them. The rest of the page would be blank. And the two or three words on the page were always kind of nonsense, silly little phrases that obviously had nothing to do with work.
I was now in a bedroom. It felt like I was still in the desert. The bedroom was yellow with summer light. I had been sitting or laying on the floor. I stood up. I might have seen just a little bit out of a window to my right. I may have seen out to a sandy beach, with the ocean rolling slightly under a swaying breeze.
I turned to my left and looked into a wide, roomy closet. I had either just finished doing laundry or just received a pile of finished laundry from someone. The laundry now all lay on the top shelf of the closet, just above my eye level. I was going to start sorting and folding it.
But I noticed two shirts that weren't mine. The shirts belonged to my brother-in-law. Both shirts were button-up. They may both have been short sleeved. One was grey with orange, flame-like patterns running up it. The other may have been white with black patterns.
I didn't want anybody to think that I was trying to wear my brother-in-law's clothes. I didn't want anybody to think I was trying to be my brother-in-law. I also didn't want anybody to think that I was sexually attracted to my brother-in-law by my having his clothes in my bedroom. So I quickly brought the two shirts out to the living room.
The living room was big and dim, but kind of plain-looking, almost like the living room in a double-wide trailer. The back of the couch faced the hallway and kind of made a border to the living room. My sister, and probably my mom, stood before the couch. Walking up behind the couch, I threw the two shirts onto the top edge of the couch, with a pile of laundry that already lay there. My sister may have asked me a questions, which I may have answered.
I was now back in the car with the woman from the brokerage firm. We were just driving beside the official building. This time the woman was a little more determined. She was saying she was going to do something to change the way things were at the office. I felt determined, too. I felt like I was going to change things, too. I may even have said that I was going to change things.
Suddenly the car stopped. I could hear a young man's voice saying, "Nope! No, no, no."
My view faded into the view of a bedroom. I was laying on the floor, in a pile of blankets. The young man was sitting in a big, stuffed chair to my right, just at about where my shoulders and head were. The young man was skinny, kind of pale, and a little nerdy looking. She was curled up in the chair, with his knees up to his chest. He may have been wearing some chunky eyeglasses.
The young man told me something like, "Nope. You can't go anywhere yet. You're not ready." His reasoning for my not being ready may have been that I didn't have a good enough knowledge of the Spanish language yet.
Apparently the young man was like a guide for me. I was just starting college, and he had been here for a couple of years. So he was going to show me the ropes. He was a lot younger than I, and I thought that his way of acting like he knew more than I was kind of cute. So I decided to humor him and let him think he was my guide. I figured I would get away from him as soon as I could.
In addition to the Spanish he'd already mentioned, the young man told me a few things I'd need to know before I could really go around and do things. One of the things may have been Latin. The other thing, which the young man told me about like it was a great secret, was "COGS."
I wondered why COGS was such a secret. I wondered what it could mean. I said, "Isn't COGS just cost of goods--"
The young man shushed me. He shook his head and said something like, "It's a secret. You're not ready to know it yet." He then pointed over to the right side (his right) of the chair.
I assented. I thought, Well, then it couldn't be what I thought it was. Maybe it had something to do with Spanish or Latin.
But now the young man stood up out of his chair. He may have been carrying a couple of very large straws, like for drinking soda. He walked around to my right side and knelt beside me. He whispered in my ear. "It's a secret. But I'll go ahead and tell you what it is."
The young man now stood up and walked back over to the chair. He reached over the right side of the chair and pulled out a can of Pepsi and a cup of jalapenos. I understood that the young man was going to mix the two things together. I said, "Oh, pepper-flavored Pepsi! That's a great idea!"
The young man didn't mix the Pepsi and the jalapenos. It was more like they just became a new can of Pepsi, a pepper-flavored Pepsi. The young man may actually have had two cans like this.
Two little children, a boy and a girl, came into the room. They jumped up on the chair with the young man. The young man's chair was now very big -- or it may have been broken into three pieces, so that the young man sat on the chair piece, while the two kids sat on something like footstools that faced the young man. And the chairs seemed to be elevated, like they were at the top of a pole. I myself was now elevated, like I was looking at everything from the top bunk of a bunk bed.
The young man held two cans of pepper Pepsi. He had a long straw in each can. The kids took a straw and tasted the Pepsi. Neither kid really liked it. The boy thought it was awful. It may even have been so hot that it burned his mouth. But the girl just thought it tasted kind of funny. She may actually have made a suggestion for making it taste better.
But now the kids were both really tired. So the young man decided that it was time for them to go to bed. The young man left the room. The kids each got onto a bed. The beds were all cluttered with bedding and other stuff. The lights in the bedroom stayed on.
I kind of lost interest in the boy. I watched the little girl as she got into bed. I thought the little girl was cute. For some reason I thought that the little girl was attracted to me, and that she wanted to get my attention. She'd do things like shift around in her bed, trying to get into the same position in her bed that I was in in my bed. I was flattered, and I thought it was really cute. So, without exactly responding to her, I would smile and chuckle a little.
I think at this point, my mother may have been in my bed, too, sitting with her back against the wall and her legs on top of my legs, over my blanket. My bed was cluttered with a lot of stuff, too, like the kids' beds. My mom may just have seemed like a part of the clutter.
I was looking at a few different clothing catalogs. Some of them may have been lingerie catalogs. But none of the catalogs used actual models. They all used mannequins, either full or partial mannequins. And sometimes, the mannequins were arranged in circle or star patterns, or other patterns that made the brightly-colored clothing they wore look more like paint samples.
I thought all the clothing the mannequins wore was sexy, in a kind of cheap way. The fabric was all cheap, and the colors were way gaudy. But I liked the feeling of being cheap like that. And I was thinking I might like some of those female fashions or lingerie for myself.
The little girl was still shifting around in the bed. But now she had a big beanbag chair propped up behind her back. There may even have been a parasol propped into the back of the beanbag chair. I thought to myself, Wow, that girl really is trying to lay down exactly in the position that I'm laying down in! But now I started to wonder whether that was true.
Finally, I think the little girl was annoyed by my constantly looking over at her. She called out for somebody, maybe a man. I realized that the little girl was trying to lay down in bed exactly like some man she was attracted to. The man was a real man: a strong, tough man. The little girl wanted the man in bed with her. And sometimes he would come around to be with her. But when he couldn't, she would try to lay down in bed exactly like he did.
I don't think the man was around. But I heard my sister come in the door, possibly with her best friend. The little girl was so happy to hear my sister come in the door that she shouted with glee. I stood up out of bed and walked into the hallway. My sister and her best friend were just walking into the house. They were in the living room, which was at the end of the long, long hallway. They may have sat down a bunch of shopping bags.
I knew that my sister hadn't eaten yet. But it was some holiday, and my mom had fixed some kind of sausage stew. There was a whole, big pot of the stew, I knew, in the kitchen. So I walked into the kitchen to tell my sister about it. As I waited for my sister to come into the kitchen, I kind of felt hungry myself. So I thought I would grab myself a bowl of the sausage stew.
My sister came into the kitchen. She was holding a tall, clear drinking glass full of sausage stew. I told my sister that our mom had fixed sausage stew for the holiday. My sister said she knew. My sister told me a few other things that made me understand that while my sister had been away (maybe at work?) she had worried that everybody would have eaten the sausage stew, and that there would be none for her. My sister had even brought herself a glass of sausage stew (from her work?) in case there wasn't any left at home.
But I knew there was plenty of stew here. We stood beside the fridge. There was a huge pot beside the fridge. There was also, I thought, a huge pot inside the fridge. And I was pretty sure there was a huge pot on the counter opposite the fridge.
I was still trying to get myself a bowl of stew. But, even while she was still talking to me rather calmly, as I went to grab some stew out of the pot by the fridge, my sister clamped her hand down on my arm, forcing it down to the counter and keeping me immobile. I knew she was trying to get me to be considerate and wait until she'd gotten some stew before I went back for more. But I struggled and struggled with my sister. Finally my sister either just gave up or disappeared.
I felt bad that I'd struggled with my sister. I looked at the pot of stew. It really didn't look like there was much left. I opened the fridge, looking for the other pot of stew. But there was no stew in the fridge.
The fridge didn't close all the way. There was a huge plastic bin of food on the floor keeping the fridge door open. The food was all in baggies. I couldn't tell what it was. So I pulled it out and looked at it, thinking that maybe I shouldn't have any more stew, but that, if I could find something else good to eat, I would. I sat the big bin on the counter. But, looking closely, I could see that the baggies were all full of stuff like jellybeans. I realized this was just stuff for my sister's children's school lunches.
I put the bin back. I started looking for the pots of stew again. But I couldn't find anything. Eventually I somehow ended up getting distracted by a computer screen that was maybe at the back end of the kitchen. There was some internet page up. The page had a black background and purplish lettering. The page was all about food people ate on whatever holiday this was. There was a photo of sausage stew. Suddenly sausage stew filled my field of view -- kind of all stretched out, like it was being wobbled through an anamorphic lens.
I was now in a big, very nice living room with my mom, my sister, my brother-in-law, and a couple of their friends. The room was filled with yellow light. The living room opened up to another spacious room that I couldn't quite see. Everybody seemed to be coming out of that room.
My mom said something like, "RC from our old neighborhood died. He had a kidney issue. It was fatal. The doctors knew it. It started with the digestion. Then he had a quick, acute pain, and he went unconscious. The doctors always know, with a quick, acute pain, that the kidney issue is fatal. If it's something they can cure, you generally don't feel the pain first."
My brother-in-law asked, "Oh, really? So if you feel the pain, then you know the kidney disease is fatal? And you go unconscious, too? Well, what I also heard was it was in the digestion. His digestion was really bad. He ate really terribly."
I imagined the "kidney" being something more like an appendix, or like some kind of little knob coming off of the intestines. I imagined it getting bright yellow.
***
UPDATE: Added two drawings to dream #2, July 13, 2012, 2:05 PM, Mountain Standard Time.
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