rehearsals

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was probably in a bedroom with my mother. The room had a bright incandescent light on the celing. But some grey-blue daylight came in through the windows, making the incandescent light feel pale and weak.

The two of us may have been practicing something together, like some kind of drama or presentation. But my mom got caught up in something she thought was funny. My mom was wearing a blanket, which she took to be a cape. She wrapped the cape all the way around me.

I was on my knees, underneath the blanket. I flew into a panic. My mom opened up the cape. The incandescent light now seemed to be a lot warmer and brighter. I screamed up at my mom, "Don't you ever remember what I've told you about how I get when I'm covered up with things?!" (In waking life I've never made any such comment to my mom.)

Just to prove my point -- that I hated being covered up with things -- I fell over onto my right side. There was a pillow on the floor. I half lay on the pillow and went into something like a fit of convulsions. I thought I was faking the convulsions. But they may have been real.

My mom just stood calmly by and watched. She was collecting all the strange behavior I exhibited. I knew that once she had collected enough instances of my strange behavior she would try to prove that I was insane, so that she could get control over me.

I was now in a bedroom with my old friend Y. The room felt larger than the room my mom and I had been in. The light was off. The only light coming into the room was grey light from the windows. My friend Y sat on a bed, maybe a bunk bed, but maybe a normal bed with the mattress just above waist height.

I had been watching something like YouTube for a while. I thought I was doing something creative or preparing to do something creative by watching YouTube. But Y wanted me to focus on something else. It seemed like we had been memorizing lines, like for a play, and now Y wanted to go over them with me.

But I couldn't remember the lines, and I had to look at the pages Y had with the lines on them. Y's pages were actually pages of sheet music, with certain passages of music highlighted in yellow. Y may also have had a musical instrument with her, maybe an electronic keyboard.

I searched through the sheet music for my lines. Y still held all the pages, so I had to look at them from an odd angle, seeing whatever snatches of pages I could as Y flipped through them.

Finally I got so frustrated by all of this that I told Y I wasn't doing it anymore. I either told Y or thought to myself that I had been doing something creative on my own, before she'd come here, and that I was going to continue to do it.

Y was offended that I wasn't interested in doing the lines anymore. She stood up and left the room, probably taking her keyboard with her. She said that she'd come back for me, and that when she did, I'd better be ready to practice the lines with her, otherwise she'd find a way to really embarrass me.

I knew that I was headed to some place like a festival, maybe like a festival for an Asian holiday. I knew that I was going to be involved in something creative there, maybe a performance.

I knew that if Y was still mad at me, she'd break into the middle of whatever the creative event was and call me out, saying something bad about me that would embarrass me in front of everybody.

I knew I had to work hard to avoid all of this happening, possibly (not really sure) because if I was really prepared and solid during my performance, Y wouldn't be able to find a place to break in and start calling me out.

But I ended up sitting at a chair before either a small desk or the edge of the high bed. There was now no light from the bedroom or window. The light came from the door Y had left open. The door opened to a hallway like in a college dormitory.

I started watching some YouTube program on a laptop. The program was educational, about science or history. Some cheerful young woman was giving the presentation.

too many dinners; brother wants to strangle me

Good morning, everybody. This post was from 5/4/12. I thought I'd published it. But it looks like I'd only saved it. So I'm publishing it now.

Dream #1

I was in a car with one of my co-workers, LM. LM was driving. We ended up going to some small restaurant, maybe like a fast food restaurant. It was like LM was ordering some meal or something for some other event. LM then told me that since I'd come with her to this restaurant, that she would give me dinner as a reward.

I was looking forward to this dinner. But now I was in the car with LM and a group of other people, possibly a few younger people. LM was in the front passenger seat now, and I was in one of the back seats, maybe the back middle seat.

Somebody had brought LM two or three bags with styrofoam containers in them. The containers were all full of dinner meals. LM had been given these meals as a kind of present. She was expected to eat them all pretty soon.

I understood this would mean that LM would likely not get dinner with me today. But I also thought that maybe what would happen would be that LM would expect me to eat these containers with her and then to eat a dinner with her, too. I knew that would be way too much for my weak stomach to handle.

LM opened up one of the packages. It was filled with rich food, like some sort of steak coated in a heavy gravy. I knew this was way too much. I probably wouldn't share this with LM. And she'd probably be too full after eating it to have another dinner with me.

Dream #2

I was in some room like a kitchen with my brother and some woman, possibly my mother. The kitchen was small and narrow. My brother stood at one narrow end of the kitchen. My mother somehow stood at my brother's right. My brother was maybe 15cm taller than he is in waking life.

My mother asked my brother to tell me how sometimes he felt like strangling me. I asked my brother why he sometimes felt like strangling me. My brother got really mad. He towered over me, almost seeming to make a gesture toward strangling me right then and there. He shouted something at me like, "Because you're always so damn frustrating!"