dancing missile complex; texas cather library; citibank semi-lucid

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I "woke up" dancing in a dark room. There may have been music playing, some kind of deep, throbbing music. The room was mostly dark, with maybe a dim, red light. A strobe light may have flashed behind me occasionally, showing my shadow on the wall. As I first woke, a couple of people may also have walked behind me.

I didn't know why I was dancing. My moves were all really aggressive and angry. I thought I may have been preparing for some kind of fight.

At one point my shadows looked like coiled up snakes, like they were all somehow slithering down for the wall. I tried to change this appearance in some way, to make my shadow look more rigid and human. But I didn't like something about the new moves. So I went back to the snakelike moves.

I remembered the people who walked behind me. I felt like I needed some kind of approval for them. Maybe they'd laughed at me when they'd seen me dancing. But I felt like I needed to follow them, to get some kind of approval from them.

They'd walked up some steps along the right wall. I walked up those steps as well. The staircase was wooden and narrow. It was hard to see through the railing, up to the next floor. I barely saw a light in a bedroom. I went up to that bedroom.

In the bedroom it was now day. There were two women, both possibly Hispanic, in the room. One of the women was supposed to be my mother. But neither woman looked like my mother. They both looked alike. They were a bit short, kind of skinny, maybe in their mid-forties, and kind of worn-out looking. They had long, straight, pale hair, and they wore big eyeglasses.

The women may have been talking about me being Hispanic. But my mom was saying that I was actually half Native American. I didn't think my mom could prove that, even though I seemed to wish it was true. I wondered if I'd ever be able to track down my dad and findo out whether I actually was Native American.

I expressed something like this to the women while I was looking out the bedroom windows, which seemed to be close together, near the corner of the room.

I was now out in a car with my mom. My mom was driving. It was daytime. We were driving through some mountainy area that seemed to be developing into a suburban area. We drove up a road on a steep, grassy slope.

Along the slope were little fixtures in the ground, almost like ceiling-hung security cameras, except planted upside-down. The fixtures now started firing little missiles out of them, with bright, papery flashes. The frequency of the flashes became more and more intense.

We drove into an area full of apartment complexes. The apartment complexes were all relatively new. But the missile launchers were even here, too.

I figured that somehow this place we were driving through had gotten into a nuclear war, and that the place was just going into an all-out attack before it got attacked. But it was also like my mom and I had been sent to find these missiles, like we were somehow supposed to stop their production. The apartment complex was new. It may have been built just as a cover-up for the missile complex.

My mom and I, as well as my sister, now pulled in through a huge parking complex at night. It was like an airport parking complex. But we found ourselves in a hotel parking lot that seemed to be on the edge of the woods. The hotel was a Meridien. We went into the restaurant.

We were supposed to be meeting someone here. But I didn't have a job. I was really poor. I didn't know how I could afford any food in this place. I may also have been wearing really terrible clothes.

The decor of the restaurant was really nice and modern. It all somehow seemed familiar to me. I wondered how this could be. Then I remembered that I had actually applied for a job here, as a waiter.

One of the waiters walked past me. I recognized him from my interview. I wanted to acknowledge him. But I didn't want him to think I was some crazy guy, just here to stalk him because I still thought I stood a chance of getting a job here.

Dream #2

I was in a car, probably. I was driving somewhere. But I was also in a conversation with somebody -- maybe my mom, or maybe some women from work -- about Texas. There was a location we were trying to get to, on the west side of Texas. Or we may have been tracking someone like a criminal, and we may have suspected that the criminal was going there.

I was now in some place like a library. I had been talking with somebody about an art show I'd been wanting to see. But I'd been avoiding it for some reason, maybe because it was at my old university or run by somebody from there, and I didn't want to bother anybody from my old school.

I was walking away, trying to get out of the building, I think. I saw into a kind of dim room. The room seemed like some kind of narrow amphitheatre. There were a bunch of professional people inside, talking with each other like they had just finished the meeting.

Among those people I saw the old head of my theatre department. But the person was a woman instead of a man. I tried to remember the person's name. But I could only think of a man's name. I wanted to avoid the person. So I left the building. I figured I might go to that art show after all.

I was walking outside for a little while, out on a concrete path on a college campus. But I found myself not too long afterward in a big library, like the Rose Reading Room at the Schwarzmann branch of the NYPL.

Instead of having long tables through the room, the library had either short tables or individual desks. The room was mostly empty, except for three young, black women who were studying under the watch of an older, black, female teacher.

The young women were all spaced well apart from each other. As I walked into the library, one of the women was speaking out something to the teacher, who stood behind her left shoulder. The girl had a really nice voice. But what she was reading sounded really simple, almost silly. I couldn't figure why the girl, who seemed really smart, was reading such a simple text.

But the girl was really pretty. So I wanted to impress her. I began walking around the library with my chest all puffed out, like I was really smart. The young woman wore a dress of almost pastel colors -- yellow and green.

As I walked around the library I noticed that the other two young women also wore pastel colored clothes. The clothes seemed to me very well suited to the desert, which was apparently where we were. The colors also reminded me of something that the characters in the novels of Willa Cather might wear.

I walked toward the left side of the library. I was looking for books for myself. But I was also getting a bit nervous. I felt like sooner or later another guy would come into the library. When he saw how I was alone in this room with four women, he'd get jealous of me and start doing all kinds of things to annoy me.

Dream #3

I was in "the Citibank building," a huge skyscraper that was apparently located in Manhattan. I was here for an interview. I was on a high up floor, maybe even a floor that was still under construction.

I was really poorly prepared for the interview. I looked terrible, and I didn't exactly have any talking points prepared. Plus, I may have been interviewing for some position for which I had no experience.

I sat in big conference room for a bit with a tall, white, skinny man who looked young, even though he was probably in his mid thirties. The room was full of windows and filled with dim gold of late afternoon sunlight. But I felt really low in my seat, much shorter than the man, and it seemed really hard to see up and out of the windows.

The man eventually told me that he didn't think this job was a good fit for me. He may have told me he hadn't thought this job was a good fit for me, even before I came to the interview. He may have wondered why I'd come here at all. But he said this all in a really gentle way, like he was concerned for me, like I was a special child that he wanted to help.

The interview was over, and I was walking around the building. I was up on a floor where construction workers were still working. The floor had walls, but a lot of the floors and ceilings were still in a raw state.

I knew I was really high up over the city. I really wanted to look out the windows, to see the city below. But I suddenly realized that this was a dream, and that I could just fly out the window. I ran as fast as I could. I started flying, even before I got to the window.

As I saw the cityscape outside the window I told myself to focus. I knew that in the past I'd panicked with moving into outside environments in lucid dreams. I told myself to stay calm and just believe I could get outside.

I got through the window, but the enviroment changed. The building was much lower than it had been. And the landscape below was just trees and lawn, like I was in some kind of office park, rather than in the middle of Manhattan.

I stopped flying, for some reason -- maybe because I'd wanted to fall, to see what it was like to jump out of a building. I slammed down on the lawn on my stomach. I pulled my head up to look at the building. It looked like a pretty tall building, and it gleamed in the afternoon light.

I tried to stand myself up so I could look around and explore this dreamworld. But as I did, it changed from day to night. I thought I must haved woken up. But it scared me to think I'd woken up out on a lawn in the middle of the night. I had no idea how I'd gotten here. Had I been sleepwalking? Was I going crazy?

I could hear my labored breathing, like I was breathing inside a spacesuit. I walked or stumbled a little ways in the darkness. I thought that maybe I was still dreaming. But I couldn't be lucid, I told myself, because this world was so close to the world of my bedroom (???). I told myself I must be right on the edge of waking. I heard my breathing get louder and louder, until I woke up.

girl on bus; lightning and stairwell

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

A vision of a girl on a bus during the day. The girl stood near the front of the bus, on the right side, as if she were just getting onto the bus. The girl was young, maybe twelve to fourteen years old, but tall. She was slim and pale. She wore a green shirt with very short sleeves and a wide v-neck that revealed a white shirt over her chest. She wore very short, pale-beige denim shorts. The girl had long brown hair, drawn back in a kind of ponytail, and big eyeglasses.

I saw the girl, first as if in a small picture or a movie on a phone's screen. Then I saw the girl as if I were actually on the bus, watching the girl walk up toward and then past me.

Dream #2

I was in "my family's backyard" with my oldest nephew. My nephew was probably six or seven years old in the dream. He had an armful of toys. He was annoying me somehow by poking me with some of the toys. I told him to stop annoying me. He thought he was funny, so he began poking me with antennas from a couple remote control joysticks he was carrying.

I got really mad and knocked some of the stuff out of my nephew's hands. I was trying to get closer to him, so I could grab him and tell him to stop poking me with stuff. But he was offended that I'd knocked stuff out of his hands. He backed away from me and started whining. He stood under some structure like a porch backing up against the back wall.

I was at the left fence of the backyard now, as if I were going to leave through some gate near me. My oldest nephew and second oldest nephew now confronted me. My second oldest nephew was mad at me for having told my oldest nephew not to poke me. He seemed less like he wanted to stand up for his brother and more like he wanted to have the fun of annoying me by nagging at me. I told him to leave me alone and I walked away.

I was now sitting out on the front porch of "my family's house," which was a red brick or red stone house. The porch was covered over with stone, so it was pretty shady. But it was pretty cloudy outside, so it was even dimmer on the porch. Some of my family members, probably my brother-in-law and some of my nephews, were sitting on the steps.

We were all watching the lightning. A few bolts would come down from the sky at a time. It wasn't raining yet. The air was dry and electric. The lightning flashes were really beautiful. They were pretty far away. But they were so violent, and it felt like they would be getting closer really soon.

Nobody seemed really afraid of the lightning coming closer. But I was nervous. I felt like it would be coming closer soon. I felt like when we got a close strike, it would take us by surprise. I stood up onto the porch, hoping the porch would shield me from the lightning strike. I tried to judge the closeness of the strikes by the flashes and the noises. But the flashes stopped showing up as much, once I focused on them, and the noises were sometimes all alone.

Now a group of guys, maybe with a couple women, walked down the street. They all seemed to be young and cocky, but somehow settled into good lives. They were being led around by a black man, who was one of their friends. The man showed them a house across the street, as if he were recommending that they buy the place. The place was big, for a house, and made of red stone.

I hid from the group of guys. I felt like if they saw me, if they knew I lived here, they'd want to hang around here all the time and annoy me. I tried to hide behind a column on the porch and in the shadows of the porch. But the black man saw me. He started leaning against some black iron gating that came just off of the left side of the stairway. The man did this to annoy me and show me he could lean against my family's property if he wanted. But I tried to justify his actions by saying that maybe the man was a professional guide, and that leaning against the gate was a part of his presentation.

But now it really did seem like the man was giving a presentation. He seemed to be speaking about the house across the way from us as if it were a dorm building for a small university. The man now led the group of people across the street to the dorm. I decided to follow the man. I was curious about this place. But, now that my space had been invaded by him, I felt the need to confront him about it.

I walked into the building. It was now much taller. The lobby looked like the lobby for an old high school. But it was multiple stories tall. The light was a dimmish, greenish fluorescent. The tile floors gleamed thickly with layers of wax.

I was following a group of older people, mostly white women. The people looked like parents for the college kids who would be staying here. The black man was gone. The older people all seemed to be turning right, into an area I knew probably led to the bathrooms.

I followed the people, hoping to get a chance to confront the black man, and also just because I was curious what this place was all about. But the older people all seemed to be women now, and they all headed into a women's bathroom. I stood outside the door. I knew I couldn't go in. Now college-aged girls were also walking into and out of the bathroom. I looked around for a men's bathroom, but I couldn't find one. So I walked out of the area.

I was now walking across the hallway, to a doorway that I thought may have been to hall of dorm rooms. As I did, I still only saw girls here, no boys. I thought this may have been an all-girls college. In that case, I thought, people would think I was really weird for walking around here all by myself.

I got to the doorway, a double doorway, to find that it actually led to a stairwell. The stairwell was wide, like a double-stairwell in a school, but it was so empty and unused feeling that I guessed it was a fire escape stairwell. I walked up the stairs a bit. There was plenty of grey-white light coming in through windows on the landing walls.

After walking up a couple flights, I got the urge, somehow, to go up the stairs faster by pulling on the handrail, then letting go, causing myself to be ejected up into the air. This would throw me up a couple of flights.

I did this a couple times, then somehow messed it up. I landed on my right side on a staircase, looking up toward the floors above me. I was almost up to the top floor. I could see the dim shade of the unfinished, dirty-metal ceiling.

I told myself that if I wanted to go up to the top floor, I could throw myself up there, even in just one throw. I knew this was a dream now. I told myself that if it was a dream, I could throw myself up to any height I wanted. I still didn't quite believe that. I felt like my aim and coordination would still have a lot to do with where I ended up. But I decided to give it a shot.

I threw myself up into the air. I almost got to the top floor. But the whole space of the top floor now seemed to be covered by dark blue sleeping bags. I tumbled down to a lower floor, but I landed on my feet.

I looked down from the landing I stood on. I knew I couldn't get any higher. The whole area was obstructed up there. But I saw that between the windings back and forth of the staircase, there was a little, rectangular corridor. I knew that IWL jumping down that space would be suicide. But in a dream, I could probably aim myself safely down that space.

I jumped down. But, again, I got worried about how good my aim was. I ended up causing myself to tumble back and forth a little roughly between the guardrails of the stairwell. I somehow got tumbled out on one of the floors.

Looking around, I saw I was on something like a balcony over an area that looked like a mix between a library and a cafe. There were book stacks farther back, but the front area was a section of big, heavy, wooden tables that looked like study tables. But people were bringing food to the tables and eating at the tables. There were young men and women.

I thought I would test myself by jumping off the balcony and flying over the space. But as I jumped, some of the male students noticed me. I got shy, and my flying ability faltered. I was descending slowly. But I thought I could prolong my hovering. I descended slowly until I landed on a table. There were only a few people around. Some of them noticed me, but they were ignoring me, like they thought I'd done something kind of silly.

So, just to get somebody's attention, I jumped off the table and, landing before an area of big, comfy chairs, I did some kind of crescent-like kick at or into the face of a woman sitting in one of the chairs. My vision got really blurry at this point.