Dream 1
I was at a concert given by singer Shiho Ochi from the J-pop group Superfly. It was in a small area, like a basement cafeteria or recreational room in a university or high school. But the area was packed with people. Everybody must have been seated in stackable chairs. I sat off kind of near the stage, but more toward the right corner.
The room was almost completely dark, except for a spotlight that shined on Ochi. Ochi sat on a stool and played an acoustic guitar. She had long hair and probably wore some kind of wide-brimmed hat.
At one point, Ochi stopped singing right in the middle of a song. She pulled out her cellphone and started fumbling around with it. She may even have spoken directly to someone on the cellphone. She then probably apologized to everybody and started up the song again. I'd thought this was weird.
But now the situation happened all over again. Ochi started singing this song I'd never heard before. It may have had some Valentine's theme or some theme that made me think it would be really good on Valentine's Day.
But as soon as Ochi started in on a part I thought was really interesting, she pulled her cellphone out of her pocket. I hadn't heard the cellphone. So I thought that maybe the phone had buzzed instead of rang.
Ochi apologized to everybody in the crowd. She looked at her phone's screen. It was blazing pretty brightly. It looked like an old LCD screen, except that it seemed to be glowing yellow and purple instead of the standard green-yellow and black.
Ochi told everybody that her boyfriend had texted her, asking her how the concert was going. She asked everybody if they would like to know more. All the girls in the audience started screaming excitedly. So Ochi turned on her cellphone's speaker. Now everybody could hear Ochi's boyfriend's voice. The girls in the audience started screaming again.
I was really annoyed by all of this. I turned away from the stage. Ochi was asking questions of the audience. We were supposed to raise our hands if we agreed or if we wanted to hear more about what Ochi was saying. But I refused to raise my hand. I tried to even ignore the fact that Ochi was saying anything at all.
But then Ochi said something that made me think Ochi was really happy about her boyfriend and that this whole experience right now was somehow really important and validating for her. I realized I should probably stop being such a selfish jerk and start raising my hand whenever Ochi asked a question. So now I was frantically raising my hand, possibly not even sure what I was raising my hand for.
Now Ochi was asking everybody if we wanted her to pass around her cellphone so everybody could do something... maybe see her boyfriend's texts more closely or hear her boyfriend better or say hello to her boyfriend from closer up or something.
Now all the men in the crowd were raising their hands and cheering. They all wanted to hold Shiho Ochi's cellphone. So they were really excited.
I looked around the crowd. I noticed that there was one entire section of the crowd, directly off the right side of the stage, that was completely turned away from Ochi. Their seats were turned away entirely. It was like they had been seated that way the entire time. But they were fans of Ochi. And even though they still had their backs turned on her, they were wildly raising their hands, hoping to be able to pass around Ochi's cellphone soon.
Dream 2
I had probably just walked outside a shopping mall. I needed to get somewhere, to some place that wasn't a part of, but was spatially related to, the mall. I started walking, knowing that I needed to get myself off the mall property -- basically off of the mall's parking lot -- at some point. But I needed to get off the property wherever I would get a straight shot toward whatever place I was headed to.
I felt like wherever I was headed was close. But it felt like with all the walking I'd have to do, especially while on the mall's property, would make it feel like a really long distance.
I started walking in a counterclockwise direction around the mall. But I wasn't really sure this was what I should be doing. Outside a main entrance to the mall was some event, maybe a little arts and crafts or flea market kind of fair. There were a lot of people looking around. Everybody seemed to be happy.
I thought I might look around at the stuff on display. But instead I decided to walk into the mall through the nearby entrance. I thought I might be able to cut some time off my walk by going straight through the mall.
I wandered around in the mall for a few moments. The mall may have been slightly busy. There was orange tiling everywhere, it felt like. And there was probably a lot of vegetation everywhere.
At some point I may have felt hungry. I suddenly wanted some pizza. I may also have started to feel really short of breath, like walking was becoming harder and harder.
At some point I may have spotted a mall directory map. But it wasn't like the usual standalone kiosks with a mall map on one side. Instead, it was sort of like a bulletin board. It somehow stood over a little river sort of fixture. You had to walk onto a bridge over the river to get a good look at the map.
It was getting harder and harder for me to walk. My legs felt like heavy weights. They may actually have hurt, too. And with each step I took, I was more and more out of breath, until I felt like I couldn't even breathe anymore.
I walked up and over a small ramp and then onto the small bridge. I couldn't even get all the way onto the bridge. I had to stop and rest at a corner, because I couldn't breathe. Also, I was afraid of getting all the way onto the bridge. I felt like if one of the other shoppers saw me standing on the bridge they'd want to come up and hog up all my space to show me that I couldn't just stand anywhere I wanted.
I still couldn't get a direct look at the directory map. But I knew there was a pizza place in the mall. I probably saw an image of an entire pizza, maybe in my imagination, but related to an ad for the place, or maybe as part of an ad that was actually right on the directory map.
I knew that if I went to the pizza place, that would put me at the mall exit I needed to be at, so all I'd need to do would be head in a straight line toward whatever my destination off the mall property was. So I could get a slice of pizza, which I was still hungry for, and be a lot closer to my destination.
But it still felt like, even then, it would be such a long walk. It seemed like such a pain. And I wasn't quite sure I could even walk anymore. My legs hurt. And I was almost completely unable to breathe.
Showing posts with label jealousy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jealousy. Show all posts
Friday, May 25, 2018
Thursday, December 27, 2012
the mud-bodied dog
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was standing out, possibly on a sidewalk, behind a backyard. A chain-link fence surrounded the backyard. The ground was mostly covered in deep green grass, though muddy patches showed through in a lot of places.
I feel like there was another person, maybe my brother, somewhere nearby, maybe in the yard, or maybe behind another side of the fence from the one I was on. But I never quite saw the person.
There were two little dogs in the yard. One was white and shaggy. The other was brown, maybe a dachshund. The white dog seemed to be a little friendly with me. But the brown dog was really mean and only wanted to bite me. Somehow the dog, even though it was behind the fence, was managing to get close to biting me. Maybe it had even bitten my pants.
I was still behind the fence. But I was also now inside the yard, which was a lot muddier than it had been before.
I had decided that if the brown dog was going to be mean to me, I was just going to ignore it. I was playing around with the white dog. I was hoping to make the brown dog jealous. If it got jealous and wanted to play with me, it would have to be nice.
It seemed like the brown dog actually was going to get nice and start playing with me. But every time it got close to me, it started barking wildly. I just decided to give up on the dog and ignore it altogether.
But now I noticed that the brown dog had a really weird body. It was like mud, compacted mud, with little, occasional blades of grass poking out of it and smashed sideways into it. The dog's body also had some imprint of small diamonds on it, like the imprint of the sole of a shoe, like someone had kicked or stepped on this mud-bodied dog.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
the sinister force; mashed potatoes; cliffhanger
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
A group of people (I may have been among them, or I may have been in the scene, but passively viewing it, like watching a movie) were in some desert building. The building may have been some kind of bunker or military building from the 1940s, or it may have been an old, desert house.
The people were some kind of official workers. They were here on an investigation. They were trying to get beyond one door, possibly a door leading down to a basement. The door was probably in the kitchen, which was bright with natural light.
The men finally decided to blow up the door using a large amount of explosives. They set up a canister as big as an oil barrel against the old, thick, wooden door. The canister may have had the force of 620 XXXXX (something I can't remember).
The men went outside the house during the blast. They crouched behind a wooden structure built like a mix between a horse trough and a well house. The men may all have been wearing leather trench coats an old style gas masks for protection.
The explosion occurred. It was supposed to have been intense, but I don't remember it at all. The men may have been expecting to uncover some dangerous criminal, or the things he'd stolen. But they'd released something much worse: some kind of sinister, demonic force.
I had a view of this force rising through the surrounds like a green gel or a green light, which then subsided back to the ground.
The men were all still standing around outside. They knew that the demonic force, though its eventual goal may have had to do with attacking all of society, was first concerned with attacking one specific woman. The men needed to protect the woman. But they couldn't, for some reason, tell her they were protecting her.
The woman was here among the men. She was a glamorous, 1940s style woman. She was so elated that the door had been open that she said she was going to run all the way somewhere, maybe all the way to the nearest (small) town. The woman ran away along a ridge of rocky soil that rose a couple meters above the flat ground.
The men thought this might be convenient. If the woman ran fast enough, she might be able to evade the spread of the sinister force. And if she stayed in town, the sinister force couldn't attack her. Then the men wouldn't have to explain anything to her.
But now the woman had turned around and was running back toward the house. It turned out that she had only been kidding. She wasn't actually going to run off anywhere.
The men now knew the woman was in danger of being attacked by the sinister force. I thought she may already have been attacked by it. Her running off and then coming back, apparently out of joy, seemed a little strange to me. I thought her actions might really have been due to the fact that the sinister force was already infecting her mind.
Dream #2
I walked into a house through a side door. I walked into a kitchen that was kind of small and dim and dirty.
There was a pot of potatoes to my right, either on the counter or on the stove top. The potatoes were in a mixture of water and butter. The water wasn't boiling, but the butter was melted and mixed in with the water like the water was boiling.
A young woman, kind of average looking, a little heavy, but pretty, stood just out of my sight somewhere in the kitchen. The woman and I probably lived together, and we were probably lovers.
But the woman had now started having a relationship with some other woman. She was talking to me now about this other woman, not saying right out that she was having an affair with this woman, but saying nice things about the woman to kind of hint that she might be attracted to her.
I had a feeling that the woman was partly trying to conceal the relationship and partly trying to make me jealous of it. Either way, it was annoying. I decided to ignore the woman. Anyway, I thought, if the woman left me, it would be kind of a relief. I didn't like the woman that much, anyway.
I turned my attention to the potatoes. They were really soft. I grabbed a spoon and began fumbling around with some of them. They were all still in their skins, but they were cut in half.
I spooned into some of the potatoes, scooping out all the insides, then mashing them while keeping them in the water. I thought to myself how much I liked eating potatoes like this, especially when they were soaked in butter, like these potatoes were.
I think the woman was still talking, on and on, about the other woman. When the woman noticed I wasn't paying attention, she might have started yelling at me.
Dream #3
It was a grey, cool day. I was riding a bike down some path in the mountains. I was all alone on the trail.
I had come from a pretty far distance in the mountains, and from a pretty high elevation. But now I was heading home. I was just about to hit the edge of the deep moutains. But I still had a ways to go, through the foothills and the city, before I got home.
I rode down a narrow section of path that ran between two tight cliffs of tan stone. At the bottom of that slope was a trail which, I knew, I'd take off to the right. But below that trail another slope went down to a river, which also flowed off to the right.
I got off my bike and went down to the slope. I'd taken off all my clothes except my boxers (in waking life I never wear boxers -- only boxer briefs). I now got into the river. I had a feeling that I could just lay back and let the water carry me downstream. It could carry me, I thought, almost all the way back home.
But I reflected on all of this. It didn't make sense. First of all, the water was really cold. By the time I got to the end of the river, I'd be sick from the coldness of the water. Second, the river wouldn't take me all the way home. I wouldn't have my bike with me. So I'd have to walk. The walk home would make the whole trip a lot longer than it would have been just taking my bike down the path.
So I got out of the river and headed back up toward my bike. After all, I now told myself, I had only gone down to the river to get a little washed up.
But now, for some reason, I'd climbed up a steep rock outcropping to get back up to the trail. There were a few large boulders that took me a lot of effort to scale. After scaling two black boulders I had to scale a really tricky tan-orange one. I could see my bike just over this boulder.
But I was either having a hard time or pretending to have a hard time climbing this boulder. There were a few ledges I kept seeming to swing off of or arch myself forward or backward to reach.
At some point I almost fell from the ledges. I realized that I was actually really high up, and that if I slipped, I'd fall and die. But I was still wet and slippery, and the boulder was, somehow, just as wet and slippery as I.
I slipped and suddenly found myself hanging from a ledge. I knew I was in trouble. But I also felt like I could save myself if I remained calm.
Monday, July 16, 2012
wearing lingerie in public; museum jealousy; astronomy lies for sex
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I walked out of some building and into a yard of buildings. The buildings were small, about the size of double-wide trailers. There were a lot of people out in this yard with me. The yard was like a vacant lot, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings, in the middle of New York City. It also felt a little like the back area of the Museum of Modern Art in New York.
The small buildings in the yard were in all different shapes, some classical, some modern. Some of the buildings appeared to be made out of granite. One building was made out of a shaded-looking glass. Other buildings were twisted in weird shapes. There was steam or smoke rising up from the ground everywhere.
I understood that this was a museum for the history of NASA. But I may not quite have understood that while I was in the building I'd just come out of. But now that I understood it, I wanted to go into a number of other buildings, to see what everything was about.
But as I looked at another building to go into, I saw a woman staring at me. She was a young, black woman. She was something like a security guard, but she sat behind a strange, glass structure, and up in some tall chair like a lifeguard's chair. It was like the woman was thinking I had done something bad. I think she was getting ready for me to do something else bad. So instead of hanging around and being blamed for something else bad being done, I decided to leave.
I may have had some friends. I may have told them I was leaving, or they may have come with me. I walked out onto a cobblestone street, kind of like the streets in the SoHo area of NYC. But this street was really wide. It was also pretty desolate of people. I walked to my left and kind of hooked up and backwards around a corner. I then headed up toward a streetcorner where there seemed to be a lot more people.
I stood among the people. I held a blue, fuzzy blanket around all of my body below my neck. Someone asked me if I knew where they could get a good something, maybe a good meal. I pointed in some direction where I knew (and could see in my mind's eye) a good shop. I may have given some directions. The place was only a couple blocks away. But the person seemed confused. So I told the person I could lead her (?) to the place.
But for some reason, when I pointed out the directions, I'd managed to undo the blanket from being wrapped around my body. I exposed myself. I was wearing women's lingerie -- a purple cami and purple panties.
I said, "Oh, wait. I can't take you down to that place. I'm wearing the wrong clothes. I didn't realize, I must have left the museum in a hurry, before getting into regular clothes. I'll have to go back and change."
But the woman stopped me. She said, "Why do you need to change? You've walked all the way out here wearing nothing but that stuff. I don't think anybody's going to care if you keep on walking around like that."
I thought the woman was right. It didn't seem like anybody around us really worried about the way I looked. But I was still embarrassed. I figured I'd at least go back to the museum so I could put on a t-shirt and some jeans.
Dream #2
I was in a museum, maybe an astronomy museum. The museum was run by two of my old friends, ML and MK. The museum was kind of like a series of small, modular areas set into a lobby or atrium of a big building, like an office building.
I had been shuffling around the museum, kind of sticking to the outskirts of it, not really wanting to be seen by ML and MK. But now a young, black man came into the museum. He was talking with my friends. The young man sat on the floor, with his back to a structure that had a big enough gap in it (between two stone or concrete walls?) that I could see the young man and at least my friend ML.
The young man began discussing something about his schooling. He'd studied aerospace, and he was really interested in learning as much more as he could about space travel. So he'd come here to see about becoming a member or about taking more classes through the museum or something. ML was really impressed by the young man. He told the young man he'd get back in touch with him soon.
The young man left. ML now spoke out, either to MK or else to the whole room, so he'd know I'd hear him, talking about how good the young man was. This was possibly supposed to make me feel bad about myself so that I'd take a more active role in studying the stuff at the museum. I did get jealous. I walked out of hiding and began talking with ML, trying to prove that I had been diligently studying aerospace and astronomy for a long time now.
Dream #3
I was in trouble with somebody, possibly a woman. I'd been in the role of a teacher for a number of females of all different ages. But I'd told them something completely wrong about astronomy.
I'd told them something about the effect of something like gravity from stars. I had been telling the women that scientists could not make firm judgments about either the composition of certain stars, or maybe even about the existence of certain stars within small groupings of stars. This had something to do with gravity.
I'd told the girls that, at least with certain kinds of stars, you could get closer and closer to the stars without feeling any different gravitational effects from them than you felt at a far distance. I had an image in my head, as I remembered telling the girls this, of a white star like a sun dotted with a bluish star on one side and a blackish star on the other.
The woman asked me why I'd been spreading such harmful nonsense among the students. I was trying to remember if I'd meant to spread nonsense. It seemed to me, as I reflected, that I was telling what I'd thought was the truth.
I even had a memory of a video I'd seen discussing the phenomenon. I tried to remind the woman about this video. I now saw an image of a star with two smaller stars dotting it. I then saw an image of two white stars that were close to each other.
I knew that the video said that the phenomenon was the same for both kinds of star systems: you couldn't feel any different gravity that would determine the existence, or the composition, or certain stars within the system. It might not be felt until you got really close. But even then there might be some kind of cancellation effect that would make it seem like there was no gravitational force from the bodies at all.
I tried to remind the woman of the video that had said this. But I couldn't remember what the video was, or when we'd watched it. And the woman didn't want to hear what I was talking about. She told me that the only reason I'd said all this stuff was to make the girls I was teaching less worried about some upcoming events. The girls were all so worried about some upcoming celestial event that they didn't want to have sex with anybody. But I was trying to make them less worried, so they'd have sex -- with me.
I now saw a slide, an old style metal slide. It was indoors. The room the slide was in was mostly dark, with just the top meter or so of wall, right where the slide peaked, lit up all the way across the wall with some gentle, fluorescent light that was behind a white, opaque pane of plastic.
The girls were all up on the slide's ladder. As they got to the top, they'd slide down. Three or so girls would be on the slide at once, all kind of evenly spaced. As they slid, some of the girls may have had some kind of purple glop detaching from their bodies, sometimes from their bottoms and sometimes from their stomachs.
***
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from these dreams can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.
UPDATE 2: Drawing added for dream #1, July 16, 2012, 2:15 PM Mountain Standard Time.
Dream #1
I walked out of some building and into a yard of buildings. The buildings were small, about the size of double-wide trailers. There were a lot of people out in this yard with me. The yard was like a vacant lot, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings, in the middle of New York City. It also felt a little like the back area of the Museum of Modern Art in New York.
The small buildings in the yard were in all different shapes, some classical, some modern. Some of the buildings appeared to be made out of granite. One building was made out of a shaded-looking glass. Other buildings were twisted in weird shapes. There was steam or smoke rising up from the ground everywhere.
I understood that this was a museum for the history of NASA. But I may not quite have understood that while I was in the building I'd just come out of. But now that I understood it, I wanted to go into a number of other buildings, to see what everything was about.
But as I looked at another building to go into, I saw a woman staring at me. She was a young, black woman. She was something like a security guard, but she sat behind a strange, glass structure, and up in some tall chair like a lifeguard's chair. It was like the woman was thinking I had done something bad. I think she was getting ready for me to do something else bad. So instead of hanging around and being blamed for something else bad being done, I decided to leave.
I may have had some friends. I may have told them I was leaving, or they may have come with me. I walked out onto a cobblestone street, kind of like the streets in the SoHo area of NYC. But this street was really wide. It was also pretty desolate of people. I walked to my left and kind of hooked up and backwards around a corner. I then headed up toward a streetcorner where there seemed to be a lot more people.
I stood among the people. I held a blue, fuzzy blanket around all of my body below my neck. Someone asked me if I knew where they could get a good something, maybe a good meal. I pointed in some direction where I knew (and could see in my mind's eye) a good shop. I may have given some directions. The place was only a couple blocks away. But the person seemed confused. So I told the person I could lead her (?) to the place.
But for some reason, when I pointed out the directions, I'd managed to undo the blanket from being wrapped around my body. I exposed myself. I was wearing women's lingerie -- a purple cami and purple panties.
I said, "Oh, wait. I can't take you down to that place. I'm wearing the wrong clothes. I didn't realize, I must have left the museum in a hurry, before getting into regular clothes. I'll have to go back and change."
But the woman stopped me. She said, "Why do you need to change? You've walked all the way out here wearing nothing but that stuff. I don't think anybody's going to care if you keep on walking around like that."
I thought the woman was right. It didn't seem like anybody around us really worried about the way I looked. But I was still embarrassed. I figured I'd at least go back to the museum so I could put on a t-shirt and some jeans.
Dream #2
I was in a museum, maybe an astronomy museum. The museum was run by two of my old friends, ML and MK. The museum was kind of like a series of small, modular areas set into a lobby or atrium of a big building, like an office building.
I had been shuffling around the museum, kind of sticking to the outskirts of it, not really wanting to be seen by ML and MK. But now a young, black man came into the museum. He was talking with my friends. The young man sat on the floor, with his back to a structure that had a big enough gap in it (between two stone or concrete walls?) that I could see the young man and at least my friend ML.
The young man began discussing something about his schooling. He'd studied aerospace, and he was really interested in learning as much more as he could about space travel. So he'd come here to see about becoming a member or about taking more classes through the museum or something. ML was really impressed by the young man. He told the young man he'd get back in touch with him soon.
The young man left. ML now spoke out, either to MK or else to the whole room, so he'd know I'd hear him, talking about how good the young man was. This was possibly supposed to make me feel bad about myself so that I'd take a more active role in studying the stuff at the museum. I did get jealous. I walked out of hiding and began talking with ML, trying to prove that I had been diligently studying aerospace and astronomy for a long time now.
Dream #3
I was in trouble with somebody, possibly a woman. I'd been in the role of a teacher for a number of females of all different ages. But I'd told them something completely wrong about astronomy.
I'd told them something about the effect of something like gravity from stars. I had been telling the women that scientists could not make firm judgments about either the composition of certain stars, or maybe even about the existence of certain stars within small groupings of stars. This had something to do with gravity.
I'd told the girls that, at least with certain kinds of stars, you could get closer and closer to the stars without feeling any different gravitational effects from them than you felt at a far distance. I had an image in my head, as I remembered telling the girls this, of a white star like a sun dotted with a bluish star on one side and a blackish star on the other.
The woman asked me why I'd been spreading such harmful nonsense among the students. I was trying to remember if I'd meant to spread nonsense. It seemed to me, as I reflected, that I was telling what I'd thought was the truth.
I even had a memory of a video I'd seen discussing the phenomenon. I tried to remind the woman about this video. I now saw an image of a star with two smaller stars dotting it. I then saw an image of two white stars that were close to each other.
I knew that the video said that the phenomenon was the same for both kinds of star systems: you couldn't feel any different gravity that would determine the existence, or the composition, or certain stars within the system. It might not be felt until you got really close. But even then there might be some kind of cancellation effect that would make it seem like there was no gravitational force from the bodies at all.
I tried to remind the woman of the video that had said this. But I couldn't remember what the video was, or when we'd watched it. And the woman didn't want to hear what I was talking about. She told me that the only reason I'd said all this stuff was to make the girls I was teaching less worried about some upcoming events. The girls were all so worried about some upcoming celestial event that they didn't want to have sex with anybody. But I was trying to make them less worried, so they'd have sex -- with me.
I now saw a slide, an old style metal slide. It was indoors. The room the slide was in was mostly dark, with just the top meter or so of wall, right where the slide peaked, lit up all the way across the wall with some gentle, fluorescent light that was behind a white, opaque pane of plastic.
The girls were all up on the slide's ladder. As they got to the top, they'd slide down. Three or so girls would be on the slide at once, all kind of evenly spaced. As they slid, some of the girls may have had some kind of purple glop detaching from their bodies, sometimes from their bottoms and sometimes from their stomachs.
***
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from these dreams can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.
UPDATE 2: Drawing added for dream #1, July 16, 2012, 2:15 PM Mountain Standard Time.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
sex with married lesbian; escape from friend; missed race; irate showgoer
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I lived in a big apartment in a big city, maybe New York City, with another man. The man was black, a bit overweight, with kind of big hair. He was maybe in his early forties. The place was mainly his. I rented out a small room in the apartment. But even the small room was very opulent. Most of the surfaces in the apartment were white, lit with golden, incandescent lights from chandeliers.
My ex-girlfriend H was coming over to visit. But I might not have been sure when. It was night already. I may have gotten a call from her at some point. But I may have felt like I'd like a little more assurance on when she'd show up.
I floated out of the apartment. The sky was a warm, dark blue, like there was still just a trace of sun sinking down far past the horizon. But it was supposed to be late night. All the buildings and streets were bathed in orange streetlamp light. The streets were packed with cars; the sidewalks, with people.
In order to get a lock on who was were in this mass of cars and people -- mainly so I could see whether I could find H, I began using a video-game-like viewing technique. I would impose a pink- or red-outline square onto a car. Somewhere in my field of view I would get a readout of the people in the car. I would do a number of these cars at once. I would do a similar thing with the people on the sidewalks, except that, probably, instead using a square outline, I just pointed at them with something like a small dot.
I may now have seen H walking down the street toward my apartment building. I began floating back into the building. I saw myself inside through one of the windows. I saw myself sitting at something like a dinner table and nodding very seriously at some person I couldn't see. I figured that I was talking with my roommate. He may have been telling me stuff I could and couldn't do. But I wanted to see who I really was talking to, so I floated into my body in the room.
I was face-to-face with H. She was talking to me about how, just today, she'd had what she was talking about as a silly idea to marry a woman. She reminded me that lesbian marriages had been made legal recently. She told me that one of her friends, who was a lesbian, suggested that they just go get married as a joke. So H and her friend had gone off and gotten married.
H seemed to think this was just a joke. I felt like she, as usual, wasn't getting the importance and permanence of what she'd just done. I was probably jealous of H being in a lesbian marriage. But I was even more annoyed that she thought it was all a joke. If it was something she'd regret later, she needed to know. I thought either she was really in love with the woman and she didn't want to tell me, or else she thought she'd done something for fun and now it would come back to get her.
While I was trying to think of the best way to tell H all this, H and I had moved to the bed, which may have been in the same room as the dining table. H and I were laying on our sides and embracing each other. We may have been kissing. H was wearing a long, greenish khaki skirt and a purple tank top. I had the skirt pushed up the back of H's legs. I was feeling H's bottom.
H asked me something like, "Do you like this?" I responded yes, possibly thinking that H meant, did I like having sex with a lesbian.
Dream #2
I was in a small bedroom with an adult woman and someone else, possibly a child. The room was dimly lit with a stark, incandescent bulb, like some bulb just laying on the floor. The walls were bare, probably white, but there was some kind of a blue tinge to them. The whole space was empty and pretty clean, but everything felt tight and restless.
My old friend R was coming to attack us. He may have gone completely insane and started killing a lot of people, with us as his next targets. Or else we may have exposed him for something, and he may now have been trying to stop us from doing something like giving conclusive evidence. He may have done something criminal in a business or political sense. Or we may have seen him murder somebody.
We knew R was way downstairs but was working his way upstairs. We had to get out of here as soon as possible. I gathered everybody up. There was a back door in this bedroom. The door led to something like a spare room. I got us all into that room. The woman was slightly panicked. But the child was very panicked. It was hard to keep it in the room.
I was kind of dizzy, and it was really hard to see. I pushed on all the walls. One of the walls opened up, in two layers -- the first layer coming in toward the room, and the second layer pushing out away from the room. I knew this was a secret exit from the house or apartment.
I had already jumped into this exit. It was now something like a small slide, with either a flat metal sheet or metal rollers for a floor and white walls and ceiling. It was so small that I couldn't stand inside of it. I had to sit. And it was steep. It was hard for me not to slide down. I was already a couple meters down.
I shouted up to the woman to get the kid inside here. This was the place I'd been looking for. We needed to escape quick. The other two got inside. But my friend R had taken one of the people's places, I'm not sure whose. The other two slid down the slide. I closed and locked the exit. Then I slid down.
We landed out in some area full of small shops and restaurants. It was early evening, and the sky and atmosphere were deep blue. There were gleams of light from the shops and restaurants. There were a few people here and there, but nobody noticed us just landing here, apparently from out of nowhere.
I told the woman and child (R was no longer there) to stay calm and not look suspicious. We began walking down one of the streets. We soon found ourselves in something more like the back end of a residential neighborhood.
I told the other two that we had to escape now. I said that the best way to escape would be to take a train -- there was a stop just a few blocks down the road -- to one of the cities up north of here. Apparently we were in New York City. So we were going to head up to one of the cities farther upstate in New York. I named a town, as if the naming of the town itself would save us. The name may have been Osceola. But I'm not sure.
Dream #3
It was daytime. I was out at the edge of some park. I stood on a promenade with a stone fence at the top of a steep hill that overlooked some town. The stone fence had a chain-link fence built out of its top as well, for extra protection. I stood before a bench.
A race had just finished. It wasn't quite a normal running race. There had been something else involved, maybe wheelchairs, even though nobody in the race really needed wheelchairs.
My old friend R showed up. He sat down either in a bench next to the bench I stood in front of, or else on the stone barrier itself. I told R that he had missed the race.
A woman now appeared and sat down at the right (my right) side of the bench before me. I sat down next to the woman and began talking to her. But now R got upset. I had a feeling he was really just jealous of the fact that I was talking with a girl. But he was doing something to indicate that he was feeling bad, like it was important for him to have someone to talk to.
I managed somehow to get the woman out of the way so I could get a better look at R. R told me that somebody he knew had cancer. I realized that R had been sad about this the whole time. I suddenly felt bad for having made such a big deal out of his having missed the race.
Dream #4
I was walking into some room. This room was like a lobby in a theater. In some other room something was going to happen, like a movie was going to be shown or something.
But coming out of a doorway opposite the lobby from the door through which I'd entered were two men and a woman. One of the men was the theater's proprietor. The other two were husband and wife. All three were older, maybe in their fifties or sixties. The proprietor was kind of short, a little shabby looking. The husband and wife were kind of tall and wealthy looking.
The proprietor was trying to explain to the man that he'd done something bad. Since the man had done this bad thing, the theater couldn't let him stay. This one bad thing done indicated that similar bad things would probably also be done once the show started. This would distract the audience. The proprietor couldn't allow that.
But the man was acting up like a spoiled child. He was yelling and screaming about wanting to see the show. It was like he thought if he could convince the proprietor he wanted to see the show badly enough, it shouldn't matter whether he would behave well at all while he was in at the show.
But the proprietor wouldn't let the man back into the show. So the man started threatening violence. The proprietor was obviously afraid. I figured I should at least step in at this point. Both the proprietor and I were small, compared to the man. But I figured if I stepped in, I could fight better than the proprietor, and maybe I could even stop the man.
The man was now yelling at me personally about how he'd been in the military. I was trying to determine how big of trouble I was in physically with this guy. I asked him what he'd done in the military. He now appeared to be in his forties. He had brown hair and a brown mustache. He wore sunglasses, a denim shirt, and blue jeans.
The man told me he'd worked with the Navy. I asked him where he'd been stationed. He gave me some location in the United States. I understood that his service with the Navy hadn't been much more than floating around on a ship just off the coast of the United States.
I could tell the man felt kind of bad about this, like he hadn't been able to risk his life like others had. So I didn't want to make him feel worse by getting into a fight with him and winning (???). So I just started talking nice to the guy. The guy, his wife, the proprietor, and I all sat down in the lobby, in some seats just like movie theater seats. A small screen was playing a movie. We all started watching the movie.
***
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from this dream can be found at this entry of my dreamday journal.
UPDATE 2: Picture added to dream #1 on July 8th, 2012, at 2:12 PM Mountain Standard Time.
Dream #1
I lived in a big apartment in a big city, maybe New York City, with another man. The man was black, a bit overweight, with kind of big hair. He was maybe in his early forties. The place was mainly his. I rented out a small room in the apartment. But even the small room was very opulent. Most of the surfaces in the apartment were white, lit with golden, incandescent lights from chandeliers.
My ex-girlfriend H was coming over to visit. But I might not have been sure when. It was night already. I may have gotten a call from her at some point. But I may have felt like I'd like a little more assurance on when she'd show up.
I floated out of the apartment. The sky was a warm, dark blue, like there was still just a trace of sun sinking down far past the horizon. But it was supposed to be late night. All the buildings and streets were bathed in orange streetlamp light. The streets were packed with cars; the sidewalks, with people.
In order to get a lock on who was were in this mass of cars and people -- mainly so I could see whether I could find H, I began using a video-game-like viewing technique. I would impose a pink- or red-outline square onto a car. Somewhere in my field of view I would get a readout of the people in the car. I would do a number of these cars at once. I would do a similar thing with the people on the sidewalks, except that, probably, instead using a square outline, I just pointed at them with something like a small dot.
I may now have seen H walking down the street toward my apartment building. I began floating back into the building. I saw myself inside through one of the windows. I saw myself sitting at something like a dinner table and nodding very seriously at some person I couldn't see. I figured that I was talking with my roommate. He may have been telling me stuff I could and couldn't do. But I wanted to see who I really was talking to, so I floated into my body in the room.
I was face-to-face with H. She was talking to me about how, just today, she'd had what she was talking about as a silly idea to marry a woman. She reminded me that lesbian marriages had been made legal recently. She told me that one of her friends, who was a lesbian, suggested that they just go get married as a joke. So H and her friend had gone off and gotten married.
H seemed to think this was just a joke. I felt like she, as usual, wasn't getting the importance and permanence of what she'd just done. I was probably jealous of H being in a lesbian marriage. But I was even more annoyed that she thought it was all a joke. If it was something she'd regret later, she needed to know. I thought either she was really in love with the woman and she didn't want to tell me, or else she thought she'd done something for fun and now it would come back to get her.
While I was trying to think of the best way to tell H all this, H and I had moved to the bed, which may have been in the same room as the dining table. H and I were laying on our sides and embracing each other. We may have been kissing. H was wearing a long, greenish khaki skirt and a purple tank top. I had the skirt pushed up the back of H's legs. I was feeling H's bottom.
H asked me something like, "Do you like this?" I responded yes, possibly thinking that H meant, did I like having sex with a lesbian.
Dream #2
I was in a small bedroom with an adult woman and someone else, possibly a child. The room was dimly lit with a stark, incandescent bulb, like some bulb just laying on the floor. The walls were bare, probably white, but there was some kind of a blue tinge to them. The whole space was empty and pretty clean, but everything felt tight and restless.
My old friend R was coming to attack us. He may have gone completely insane and started killing a lot of people, with us as his next targets. Or else we may have exposed him for something, and he may now have been trying to stop us from doing something like giving conclusive evidence. He may have done something criminal in a business or political sense. Or we may have seen him murder somebody.
We knew R was way downstairs but was working his way upstairs. We had to get out of here as soon as possible. I gathered everybody up. There was a back door in this bedroom. The door led to something like a spare room. I got us all into that room. The woman was slightly panicked. But the child was very panicked. It was hard to keep it in the room.
I was kind of dizzy, and it was really hard to see. I pushed on all the walls. One of the walls opened up, in two layers -- the first layer coming in toward the room, and the second layer pushing out away from the room. I knew this was a secret exit from the house or apartment.
I had already jumped into this exit. It was now something like a small slide, with either a flat metal sheet or metal rollers for a floor and white walls and ceiling. It was so small that I couldn't stand inside of it. I had to sit. And it was steep. It was hard for me not to slide down. I was already a couple meters down.
I shouted up to the woman to get the kid inside here. This was the place I'd been looking for. We needed to escape quick. The other two got inside. But my friend R had taken one of the people's places, I'm not sure whose. The other two slid down the slide. I closed and locked the exit. Then I slid down.
We landed out in some area full of small shops and restaurants. It was early evening, and the sky and atmosphere were deep blue. There were gleams of light from the shops and restaurants. There were a few people here and there, but nobody noticed us just landing here, apparently from out of nowhere.
I told the woman and child (R was no longer there) to stay calm and not look suspicious. We began walking down one of the streets. We soon found ourselves in something more like the back end of a residential neighborhood.
I told the other two that we had to escape now. I said that the best way to escape would be to take a train -- there was a stop just a few blocks down the road -- to one of the cities up north of here. Apparently we were in New York City. So we were going to head up to one of the cities farther upstate in New York. I named a town, as if the naming of the town itself would save us. The name may have been Osceola. But I'm not sure.
Dream #3
It was daytime. I was out at the edge of some park. I stood on a promenade with a stone fence at the top of a steep hill that overlooked some town. The stone fence had a chain-link fence built out of its top as well, for extra protection. I stood before a bench.
A race had just finished. It wasn't quite a normal running race. There had been something else involved, maybe wheelchairs, even though nobody in the race really needed wheelchairs.
My old friend R showed up. He sat down either in a bench next to the bench I stood in front of, or else on the stone barrier itself. I told R that he had missed the race.
A woman now appeared and sat down at the right (my right) side of the bench before me. I sat down next to the woman and began talking to her. But now R got upset. I had a feeling he was really just jealous of the fact that I was talking with a girl. But he was doing something to indicate that he was feeling bad, like it was important for him to have someone to talk to.
I managed somehow to get the woman out of the way so I could get a better look at R. R told me that somebody he knew had cancer. I realized that R had been sad about this the whole time. I suddenly felt bad for having made such a big deal out of his having missed the race.
Dream #4
I was walking into some room. This room was like a lobby in a theater. In some other room something was going to happen, like a movie was going to be shown or something.
But coming out of a doorway opposite the lobby from the door through which I'd entered were two men and a woman. One of the men was the theater's proprietor. The other two were husband and wife. All three were older, maybe in their fifties or sixties. The proprietor was kind of short, a little shabby looking. The husband and wife were kind of tall and wealthy looking.
The proprietor was trying to explain to the man that he'd done something bad. Since the man had done this bad thing, the theater couldn't let him stay. This one bad thing done indicated that similar bad things would probably also be done once the show started. This would distract the audience. The proprietor couldn't allow that.
But the man was acting up like a spoiled child. He was yelling and screaming about wanting to see the show. It was like he thought if he could convince the proprietor he wanted to see the show badly enough, it shouldn't matter whether he would behave well at all while he was in at the show.
But the proprietor wouldn't let the man back into the show. So the man started threatening violence. The proprietor was obviously afraid. I figured I should at least step in at this point. Both the proprietor and I were small, compared to the man. But I figured if I stepped in, I could fight better than the proprietor, and maybe I could even stop the man.
The man was now yelling at me personally about how he'd been in the military. I was trying to determine how big of trouble I was in physically with this guy. I asked him what he'd done in the military. He now appeared to be in his forties. He had brown hair and a brown mustache. He wore sunglasses, a denim shirt, and blue jeans.
The man told me he'd worked with the Navy. I asked him where he'd been stationed. He gave me some location in the United States. I understood that his service with the Navy hadn't been much more than floating around on a ship just off the coast of the United States.
I could tell the man felt kind of bad about this, like he hadn't been able to risk his life like others had. So I didn't want to make him feel worse by getting into a fight with him and winning (???). So I just started talking nice to the guy. The guy, his wife, the proprietor, and I all sat down in the lobby, in some seats just like movie theater seats. A small screen was playing a movie. We all started watching the movie.
***
UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from this dream can be found at this entry of my dreamday journal.
UPDATE 2: Picture added to dream #1 on July 8th, 2012, at 2:12 PM Mountain Standard Time.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
dirty car
Good morning, everybody.
Dream #1
I was in a car with my mom, my second oldest nephew, and possibly another one of my nephews. Somehow we were all sitting in the car like it was a room. The space had no seats, just the small walls and low ceiling of a car. The walls and ceiling of the car were orange. The car was filthy -- packed with all kinds of garbage and clutter.
My mom had gotten mad at me because I had tried to clean my room. However she had gotten mad at me, she had made me feel really bad about having cleaned my room. It was like this filthy car we were in was her room, and since I had cleaned my room, I was purposely making a bad statement about the filthiness of her own room. She made me feel like I was betraying her somehow.
So I was now trying to prove that I hadn't actually cleaned my room. I was even trying to prove it to myself. At some point I may even have convinced myself that this filthy car was my room.
Dream #1
I was in a car with my mom, my second oldest nephew, and possibly another one of my nephews. Somehow we were all sitting in the car like it was a room. The space had no seats, just the small walls and low ceiling of a car. The walls and ceiling of the car were orange. The car was filthy -- packed with all kinds of garbage and clutter.
My mom had gotten mad at me because I had tried to clean my room. However she had gotten mad at me, she had made me feel really bad about having cleaned my room. It was like this filthy car we were in was her room, and since I had cleaned my room, I was purposely making a bad statement about the filthiness of her own room. She made me feel like I was betraying her somehow.
So I was now trying to prove that I hadn't actually cleaned my room. I was even trying to prove it to myself. At some point I may even have convinced myself that this filthy car was my room.
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