the women in red and blue

Dream 1

I was in a nice-looking restaurant. The restaurant was softly lit but not dim. I was in a narrow room that had kind of slim, wooden tables along the walls.

I walked up the narrow aisle between the tables, toward a tall, attractive blonde woman. The woman wore a red dress that may have been made of vinyl. The dress had a section along the midriff made of clear vinyl.

The woman said something and then either pulled her dress up (at the clear vinyl part?) or down, so that her breasts were exposed. This probably seemed a little strange to me. But I may have tried to figure out how the woman's actions fit in with the situation.

There was some strange shift that I can't remember very well. The woman was now wearing a blue dress of similar material. And she was probably a different woman now, though she was also still tall, blonde, and attractive.

But I also saw from the viewpoint of the first woman. I looked down and saw the woman's exposed breasts and the red dress. But I wasn't the woman. And I thought that the woman needed to pull her dress back up over her chest. The woman may have done this as I thought about it.

I was now myself, but I was either in the body of the woman with the red dress or else I was wearing the red dress myself. I walked down a couple of steps and into another room of the restaurant. The room looked a lot like the room I'd just been in except that it was probably a bit wider and a bit longer. Also, the wall I faced may have been only a half-wall, opening to another, much larger room of tables.

The restaurant was now a Chinese food restaurant. I was meeting my family here. We came separately, but we all must have arrived at the same time. As soon as I sat down at the table, everybody else was there, sitting down, too.

I sat at the head of the table. I don't know whether I was the woman or just wearing her dress. But I felt kind of weird looking this way in front of my family. I figured that if anybody noticed that I looked different, I'd try to come up with some explanation on the fly.

latex transvestite interview; youzakura

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a very small bedroom, like a bedroom in a double-wide trailer, with a beautiful, blonde woman. I stood close to and facing the woman, who stood with her back to a small chair.

The woman and I were apparently on some kind of television show. We had gone through some sort of interaction, and we were now being interviewed, or we were interviewing each other, about it. But I couldn't see the camera. It was almost like we were playing that we were on TV, even though we really were on TV.

The interview basically became about the fact that when the woman and I had gone on a date, we'd worn the same clothes. The woman was still wearing the clothes she'd worn on the night of the date, including a yellow, knee-length skirt that had a hem like the cuff for the sleeve of a long-sleeved shirt and bunched loosely out in lazy pleats up to the waist.

I asked the woman what her reaction had been to me coming to our date wearing a dress. The woman gave her reaction instead of talking about it. The woman acted accepting, but shaky and a little reticent. It became obvious that the woman was a little jealous, wondering if I'd stolen her clothes.

We kind of changed positions a bit, so I was now facing the door, which had been to my right before. The woman's skirt was still loose and yellow, but was now made of latex. The woman told me something, possibly more accepting of me than she'd been before.

We changed positions again, so that I was now facing the back wall, with my back to the chair. The woman's entire outfit may now have been made of latex, and it was probably much tighter. The woman told me she actually thought it was hot that I had been dressed in the same clothes as she (i.e. the tight latex outfit).

The woman's outfit may have changed again, to a completely skin-tight, almost transparent, latex outfit. I was wearing the same thing. I knew the woman wanted to get on all fours and have me go at her from behind -- without either of us taking off our suits! This seemed really impractical, even uncomfortable, but really arousing.

Dream #2

It was night. I was walking down the middle of a wide street, like a busy street of stores and parking lots in a suburban city. But there were also cherry trees or crabapple trees growing up in the middle of the street. The trees were huge, and their canopies were filled with big, beautiful, pink and white blossoms. The blossoms' color was even more intense in the orange streetlamp light.

I felt so peaceful walking down this road. Suddenly I came to a gigantic cherry tree that seemed to fill me with its beauty. As I passed under the canopy and witnessed the beauty of the blossoms, I became much more aware of things, if not entirely aware that I was dreaming.

I knew I could fly. I decided to fly up to the top of this tree. I ran out from under the canopy, turned around, and ran back toward the canopy. Reaching the canopy, I leaped upward.

I jumped over the first layer of canopy, which was wide, but not extremely tall. Above that first layer the tree basically became a trunk clouded and swirled around with branches and limbs full of small, gentle-pink and white blossoms. I also spiraled my way (counterclockwise?) up the tree.

I clung to the tree with my left arm, like a monkey would. The sky was foggy or cloudy all around me. I looked down to the ground. It was a lot farther below me than I thought. I saw through a layer of clouds to the shimmering orange lights of a city.

I was really close to the top of the tree. I wanted to go ahead and fly up to the top. But I was already scared by how high I was. But I decided to fly up to the top, anyway. I made one last leap and reached the top of the tree. The top was round and bald, covered in dark bark, and coated in thick piles of tiny, pink and white petals.

I now knew I had to jump back down to the ground. I was really scared by how high I was. I knew that I could fly, and that I'd probably just be able to float down gently through the clouds and back down to the ground. But I worried that I either had lost my ability to fly or that I would lose it, and that, mid-flight, I'd suddenly drop down through the air and smash to the ground.

But I went ahead, took three deep breaths (which I could physically feel in my ears) and jumped. I found myself drifting downward through a thick layer of clouds. I may then have passed below the layer of clouds, so I could see the tree again as I drifted back down toward the ground.

I was suddenly called for by a group of people, probably a group of Japanese people, mostly women, in their forties and fifties. I couldn't see them: it was like they were shrouded in the blackness of the sky around me. They told me I needed to join them for a safe landing.

I somehow joined hands with the people. We had joined into a circle and were drifting down to the ground, maybe like a circle of skydivers. We landed. As soon as we landed, the darkness all went away. We were all standing out on a flat, open, treeless plain in the sunlight, under a blue sky. Everybody started walking away. It was like we had been part of some volunteer project, which was now over.

the house under the radio tower

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

It was probably a sunny day. I was out with a group of people in front of some tall, steel-framed structure. There was an instructor who was telling us about the structure, which was something like a radio tower.

The instructor was now going to take us up into the tower. I had been the most enthusiastic person in the group to go up to the top of the tower. But the instructor took the rest of the group up first. I was left below, possibly because there wasn't enough room for me. Iwaited down below, possibly resting in the shade of the tower, sitting and with my back leaned against the tower, like one might rest in the shade of a tree.

At some point the instructor may have called to me, via walkie-talkie, that it was now okay to come up. But now I thought how dizzyingly high the tower actually was. I was afraid to come up. I may even have had some excuse, like a technical justification, for not going up the tower.

But now there was a huge storm brewing on the horizon. The storm moved quicly. Soon the sky was filled with dark grey clouds. But the real brunt of the storm was still in the distance. A grey-black cylinder of clouds was spinning around, revealing violent, white flashes of lightning between the clouds.

I knew it wasn't safe to be up on the top of the tower in the middle of a storm like this. I thought I'd radio the instructor and tell him that I definitely wasn't coming up now.

I may have imagined myself being caught up in that lightning cylinder and lifted up to the top of the tower. But, really, I was looking around, near the base of the tower, for a place where I could hide from all the lightning.

It was now really dark and rainy. I found some place under the base of the tower that was like a ledge of concrete with some blankets underneath. I thought it was pretty silly to hide under a metal tower during a lightning storm. I thought the concrete shelter might be a slightly better hiding place. But it still didn't seem too secure.

Without my really noticing it, the shelter changed into a large room in a house. I was still laying in the huge pile of blankets, like I was in the shelter, but now the blankets were all piled up against a wall. The room was dark and calm, with the only light coming from some incandescent outdoor light for a backyard garden.

My mother may also have been in this room. She may have been recovering from some illness or operation. She was probably laying on a couch. But then she was gone. It was like she wasn't actually in the house yet, like she was still heading here from the hospital.

I lay on the couch my mom had (probably) been laying on. It was red, upholstered with some thin, fake-leather material. It was narrow but long. I lay back on the couch.

I suddenly felt sexually aroused. I may have wanted to masturbate. But I may have felt like the ghost of my great-grandmother was in the room. I didn't want my great-grandmother to see me masturbating and be disappointed in me.

I also may have felt like I'd like to wear some women's underwear, maybe even my great-grandmother's underwear to masturbate in. I stood up and walked out into the hallway. I may have wandered around the house a bit.

When I got back to the room my mom and brother may have been in there. My brother was taking care of my mom while she was recuperating. I felt like I was no longer welcome in the room. I may even have felt afraid to enter the room. I felt like something about me, probably my weird sexuality, had made my brother feel like I was not a fit person to be around my mom.

escape from the psychic theater!

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I walked into what seemed like a night club for very wealthy people. The place had a dark atmosphere, an all the men and women wore beautiful tuxedos and dresses. The place was incredibly crowded. I found a seat at the very back.

At the front was a stage where a couple men were performing. Their act was part of a benefit for something having to do with one of the most important men in this crowd. There were musical instruments and microphone stands up on stage, like for a rock band. But this act seemed to be more of a stand-up comedy or comedy sketch act. Both men were dressed in a modern style, kind of shabby, wearing flimsy t-shirts and black jeans, and having long, scraggly hair.

As the act continued, one man was left alone on stage. The man now sat down in a chair. He was suddenly dressed in a black velvet dress. He wore a skull-hugging hat and possibly a necklace, both made of something like diamonds. He was dressed as a woman, but he was acting like a transvestite. This transvestite had just been asked to a dance that was a big social event among the wealthy.

The transvestite began giving a monologue, but through voice over, a loudspeaker playing his words, as if they were his thoughts, while he sat still, without moving his lips. The thoughts began with wondering how he should act at the dance. But they eventually turned to some boy, whom the transvestite may have liked.

This act all became too plainly a mockery of the son of important rich man in whose honor this ball was being thrown. It was in bad taste to make fun of the son at this event, possibly because the rich man was sensitive about his son, but possibly because the son had actually died not too long ago.

The man playing the transvestite knew he needed to tone down his act, or change it altogether, before the important rich man ruined his career. So the man playing the transvestite stood up and walked to a microphone and began giving some serious, kind of sentimental act, showing what a wonderful person the son had been.

In the middle of this act, one of my old schoolmates from college, JSp, walked out on stage. A spotlight shone on him. He walked straight forward, as if in a trance, to, and then beyond, the end of the stage. He may have been muttering something as he walked, like he was a little crazy. He continued his walk forward, all the way to the back of the room, as if a walkway had just then been formed for him.

I was now at the back end of a theater, like a small theater in the Village. I was surrounded by old friends from college. We were all our current ages. We were watching a new performance by some of our friends. Some of us who were watching may also have been scheduled to go on stage later on. I was not going on stage.

The people who now got up on stage, ML and one other person, looked and acted like crazy people. They were all scraggly, dirty, and pale. Their hair was thinning, but disheveled, and they wore coats that were way too big for them. They just seemed to putter around on stage, mumbling strange things, more to themselves than to each other. They may also have walked off the regular stage and onto a network of walkways that went around and behind the audience.

Another group of people walked out onto the stage. They also appeared to be old friends of mine from college. They began speaking, either to each other or to the crowd, about moving around either in the dream world or in a state like the out-of-body state. They said that it was an easy thing to do, and that they were a little surprised and disappointed that the people in the audience hadn't started doing it before now. It was like the audience was a class of people experienced at this type of dream movement or out-of-body movement.

Other people around me seemed, at this prompting, quickly to have jumped into this altered state. I had taken quite a while in getting to it. I stood up and ran toward the stage. (Actually, I must have flown toward the stage without thinking of it -- I was going over the heads of the crowd and not using one of the walkways.)

I reached the stage and approached the back of the stage, which was a solid wall. As I approached the wall, it opened up, like an eye would open, and let me out into an area like an alleyway in a big city. There was a long, warehouse-like building off to my right. I knew I could fly, so I got a running start, then began flying up along the building.

I may have planned to fly over the building. But for some reason I landed. I may not have had the ability to fly anymore. I began running along the building, possibly (not really sure) because I thought that once I reached the end of the building I'd have the momentum to fly again. But I kept running and running, never reaching the end of the building.

All around the building was complete darkness, and all around me was fog. I saw through this darkness and fog as if I were running with a headlight guiding my path. I was starting to wonder whether I'd just keep running like this forever and ever. I thought to myself, What's going on? I'm getting nowhere!

Suddenly a hand grabbed my left arm. A voice said, "Dude! You are getting somewhere! You have to calm down your thoughts and uncloud your vision." The voice may have told me to "pull down my shades," as if I were wearing sunglasses or some special kind of eyeglasses.

I reached up to my eyes and pulled down my shades -- oddly enough, I think I pulled them down over my eyes instead of under them. My vision sparkled with slow, white gleams for a moment. As the gleams dispersed, my eyes felt a bit of strain, like I was trying really hard to keep my eyes open while I was tired.

My vision slowly cleared, and I could see that I was in a long driving tunnel, like the Holland Tunnel in New York. But the tunnel may have been kind of narrow, and there were a lot of people out walking around in it. The man and I were actually in a car. I was driving and the man was in the passenger seat.

The car was driving slow and the people were moving slow. But the people would often suddenly walk straight across the tunnel, or they would randomly swerve into the center of the tunnel. I would have to react quickly to avoid hitting the people, even though both their and my actions were so slow. The man said, "See? When you were driving blindly, you risked hitting all these people. You need to stay aware of where you really are, or else you're going to hurt someone."

At this point my consciousness may have faded into some kind of "real life scenario." I don't really remember what it was, though.

But as the "real life scenario" ended -- possibly with my not having done a good job and fighting to get out of the scenario! -- my vision faded, again through the sparkles, into the tunnel. Again the people in the tunnel seemed would get in the way of my car and I'd have to react quickly to avoid hitting them.

But my car slowly faded away, and I found myself out walking among the people. The slow motion suddenly cleared away. When the slow motion cleared, the people in the tunnel also changed a little bit. The tunnel itself also became narrower and smaller, kind of like a footpath tunnel, or even a hallway. The atmosphere, which before had felt so slow and sticky, now felt clear and normal. But most of the people were walking around in a complete daze, like they were on some other world.

I began recognizing people. I knew that I'd known them from the audience I'd been in before I'd made the jump through the stage wall. But none of these people were from my college days. One may possibly have been a girl from the neighborhood I'd lived in before going to college.

I realized that we had all actually been part of some experiment, maybe a government experiment, on psychic people. We were all brought together and then drugged into a state where we would perform our psychic abilities -- mostly out-of-body type abilities. During the experiences, I realized, if we had the ability to see each other for who we really were, we'd recognize each other from the past experiences. But we were so drugged during the experiences that once we woke up, we'd all forget each other.

I hoped to push past this somehow and hold onto my recognition of some of these people. The girl from my old neighborhood seemed to be a little more awake than the others. So I said, "Hey," as she walked past. There was a glimmer of recognition in her eyes. But she kept walking. Another woman, maybe a heavyset Hispanic woman, also seemed to be a little awake. So I tried to get her attention. But she also only slightly recognized me. So I kept walking.

I knew that I was still in full control of my psychic abilities and my consciousness. So I decided to get out of this place before the government could take it away again. There was a door out of the hallway right in front of me. I simply opened it. I could see the night sky, and the hint of some big, hospital-like building (of which this hallway must have been a part) outside the door.

I was about to leave, but a heavy hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. It was a big, fat, black man in a police uniform. He said, "Uh-uh, sir. You aren't going anywhere."

I figured I would still try to escape. But as I tried to back toward the door, the officer pulled out a (purple plastic?) revolver and shot at me. The officer may have hit me with a tranquilizer dart. I knew the officer was trying to sedate me, so he could end my process, erase my memory, and set me back into my normal environment, unaware of what I'd been through.

But I refused to be taken down so easily. I said, "Oh, fuck that bull shit!" I somehow managed to overpower the officer. Either by using my strength (LOL!) or by using psychic powers, I managed to make the officer twist the revolver in toward his own stomach.

I made the officer shoot himself in the stomach with a tranquilizer dart. As the officer did this, he cried, "Oh, dear god, no." He passed out and slumped to the ground. I was holding the tranquilizer gun.

I ran out into the night. Beyond the hospital-like building was a hilly lawn that seemed to be lit by large, stadium-style lights. I seemed to have come out of a door inside of or near some black, tarp-like or tent-like structure, the front of which was flapping back and forth a little. In the distance were a couple workers. I had a bad feeling that they were security officers or that, if they saw me, they'd call security workers to capture me.

I continued running. I was afraid that the tranquilizer -- I wasn't sure whether it had hit me -- was going to take effect and make me pass out very soon. I wanted to keep running, either until I escaped or until the tranquilizer made me pass out. I thought that I could, at the very least, get far away from the building and hide myself somewhere.

I ran toward the top of a hill where there stood a tree with a wide canopy. I ran between the tree, which was on my left, and a fence, which was on my right. On the other side of the fence there seemed to be a densely wooded area. I was still carrying the tranquilizer gun. I threw the gun over the fence, apparently thinking that by doing so I would eliminate the evidence that I had shot the officer with it.

Only a moment after throwing the gun over the fence, I began flying. I slowly floated up over the fence and then up into the thin branches of the densely wooded area. The branches began changing color, becoming pinkish or pinkish-orange.

There seemed to be a place among these strangely colored branches where I could rest, possibly even let myself pass out, and not be detected by the security officers. The place seemed somehow to be disappointing to me, like it was a shabby tree house or a dwelling built by a bunch of dirty monkeys. I didn't really want to be here. But I had no choice. There was nowhere else for me to go.

As soon as I set myself down on the planks that made up the floor of this place, the place changed. First it changed into some kind of living room or entertainment room that seemed to be on a balcony-like floor in a big house. I could see over the balcony ledge to another living room-like area on the floor below.

The view then, while keeping its location steady, became cartoon-like, like flat, thick-lined cartoons such as Dexter's Laboratory. Some cartoon characters actually came into my view. They were all short, little characters, like Dexter. They were also childlike, somehow.

There was some adult woman on the floor below, a kind of guardian to these cartoon characters. The woman may have been real, not cartoon. The cartoon characters were all warning me to be quiet, so that I didn't wake up the woman. If the woman woke up and found out I was hiding here, she'd probably get really angry.

darts of betrayal; switching states; waiting rooms; the hesitant tranny-baby

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a different time period or dimension. The time period may have been the 1940s. It was night. I was in an apartment living room with a man. The room was dim and sepia-toned. The man probably wore a brownish suit. His hair was swept up in a wave from his forehead.

The back wall, along which the couch stood, was lined with papers. The papers may have been pictures or signs. They all indicated goals or missions -- something having to do with the future aims of the man. The man would throw darts at the pieces of paper. The pieces of paper the darts struck indicated something about the man's future. I think once a certain amount of papers had been hit, the man and I would actually start some kind of mission outside the apartment.

The man had been going along pretty regularly, hitting papers with darts. The man seemed to have good aim, which may have meant that he was putting together a pretty good future or mission. But somehow the man had gotten the idea that I had betrayed him somehow. He may now possibly have been coming to think that I had taken the woman he loved away from him.

This may have been true. I certainly remembered the woman (a dignified woman dressed in a Victorian kind of style, with a wide hairstyle and a form-fitting, white, lace dress that puffed out a bit at the collar and shoulders).

I remembered that the woman and I had been involved in some kind of situation, like a mission. But beyond that, I didn't know anything for certain. The woman and I may have gotten together with the aim of hurting the man, as if the man were bad and we were secretly trying to stop him from attaining some evil goal.

The man, in his disappointment, began tossing the darts around randomly. He tossed them without caring. He even tossed them at other walls, where there were no papers. The man started telling me things that implied that he knew the woman and I had gotten together. I wasn't really upset that the man was angry at me. I was more upset that he now seemed to be bent on messing up his future or mission, just because he was disappointed about this affair, which may not have even happened.

Dream #2

I was in a car with my mom and my third oldest nephew. We were driving through some suburban neighborhood that was full of steep hills. I was talking to my mom about how I thought I should possibly go back and work for the National Parks Service, like I had done about a decade ago.

My mom didn't seem to have much reaction to this. But my nephew was interested, asking what it would mean if I went to work for the Parks Service. I told my nephew that it meant I'd have to move to another state, maybe Arizona or New Mexico. I'd be kind of far away, and I'd be working in the forest or the desert all the time. As I said all of this, an image of a map, probably of the Southwestern United States, formed in my head.

Dream #3

I was in a hospital with my mom and sister, who seemed to be a young child. We were here because my mom needed to be seen by the doctor for something. My mom was taken into some hospital room. My sister and I were in a waiting room. But we were then led into a different waiting room.

At some point my sister and I also got separated from each other. I was supposed to find my sister and bring her into my waiting room. I may have found my sister at some point. I may have been a little annoyed to find that she was in hysterics over something I didn't think was a big deal at all.

Dream #4

I was in some place like a clothing store. There were a lot of men, mostly dressed in drag, around me. The men were all going to give me a makeover for Halloween. They decided they were going to dress me up as some kind of glamorous transvestite adult baby. I think I had an image in my mind's eye of me wearing a blonde wig, some kind of pink and white t-shirt, diapers, and some kind of gold-sequin panties over the diapers.

The guys were just about ready to put makeup on my face. I was getting a little worried. I told them, "Guys, if I start to look really awkward or stupid, don't try to be nice to me about it, okay? Just take the makeup off and we'll forget about all this."

restaurant with friend; wearing little panties

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

It was night. I was in a restaurant with my old friend ML. We may have been with some other friends. The restaurant we were in was dim, lit by candlelight. The restaurant may have been a French-style restaurant or fancy cafe.

ML and I walked up to a bar on the opposite side of the restaurant from our table. We were apparently going to order desserts from the bar, like the bar was actually a coffee and pastry counter. There was a stand-up card display of desserts. There may also have been a fold-out menu.

ML may already have known what he wanted. I had to look for a minute to decide. I felt like ML was a little disappointed in me. I felt like he thought that, by getting dessert, I was overeating. I may have thought that I could make ML less disappointed in me by getting a light dessert rather than a heavy one. But I may have decided on some kind of chocolate-coated chocolate cheesecake with some kind of sweet, red shavings or sprinkles on it.

Dream #2

It was night. I was in a small bedroom a few floors up in a small apartment building. The bedroom probably wasn't mine: I was probably just watching it for somebody. The room was cluttered. It had two beds, both of which were piled up with the room owner's belongings. In addition to watching the room, I may also possibly have been assigned to ordering the room so that some of these personal belongings could easily be moved out.

I had been facing a bed along one of the short end walls. I now noticed that the bed to my right had some piles of neatly folded clothes all stacked up under something that looked like a broken-apart desk. I looked closer at the clothes and saw they were mainly women's clothes.

Then I saw some panties. The panties were kind of tiny, maybe for young girls, probably too small for me. But I figured I'd try to wear them, anyway. I tried on one pair of panties. They may have fit, but I wasn't satisfied with them.

There were a second pair, which I thought were lovely. They were also tiny. The hips had a wide look to them, like a mix between boy-short panties and bikini panties. They were white cotton, but they had childish, purple designs on them, maybe like letters and numbers. There may also have been a "pocket" design somewhere, like the pentagonal house-shape of the back pockets of jeans, except really small.

I may have wanted to try on these panties. But as I did, I could hear three or four old people down on the sidewalk outside. They were having some normal conversation. They were completely unaware of me. But I thought that if I could hear them right now, they might be able, at any point in time, to see me trying on these panties.

I think the people who owned this apartment knew I was a bit of a transvestite, and they didn't care. But I didn't want other people to know. I wasn't even really afraid of the old people downstairs knowing. What I was more worried about were younger guys walking past the building, accidentally seeing me, getting angry, and deciding to get violent with me. So I decided not to try wearing the panties, even though I liked them a lot.

karate training; silver and gold left arm; death before marriage?

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was outdoors, walking out along a barren plot of land. I was probably heading from one building to another. There were some big, strong men all around. I felt like they were thinking of doing me harm, so I wanted to get through the area as quickly as possible.

But one of the men grabbed my arm to stop me. He spun me around. He was a black man, not much taller than I, but way more muscular. He wore a karate outfit that was light blue. His karate belt was a darker shade of blue. He also wore sunglasses, which may have been tinted blue somehow. He may also have been wearing a broad-brimmed hat.

The man pulled out both of my arms so that they were extended in front of me. He had my hands balled into fists and put the fists next to each other. He then began patting my hands like they were mounds of dough that he was patting out for bread. I couldn't tell whether he was trying to train me or fight me. I thought I'd be ready for his next move, whatever it was. I thought he'd probably try some surprise move to test my reflexes. So I figured I'd be as on guard as I possibly could.

Dream #2

I walked from some other place, where I'd been taking care of something, into an office. I stood before some man who was sitting at a cubicle. I could see beyond the cubicle to some windows outside, where it was dark.

The man took my left arm. He examined it closely (though I feel now that he may also have kissed my hand). He acted surprised and said that my hand looked strange. I looked down. My hand and a good portion of my arm up to my elbow were gold, like they'd been painted with gold paint or drawn on with gold marker. I looked at my arm for a bit longer. I saw how the gold tailed off, in almost fire-like patterns, and how most of the rest of my arm up to my elbow was then silver.

I told the man that was nothing to worry about. I said I'd done something where I'd painted myself gold. But the paint or marker I'd used was more permanent than I'd thought it would be. Nothing bad had happened to my arm. It would just be golden for a while.

Dream #3

A movie with Adam Sandler. It was getting toward the end of the movie. Adam Sandler was about to get married to the love interest of the film. But everything about the wedding ceremony was irreverent. There was something weird looking about the cake. There may also have been an old, scraggly guy near the cake, either eating the cake or eyeing it all the time.

The woman Adam Sandler was getting married to was going to do herself up to look masculine or boyish. She may even have been planning to wear men's clothes instead of a wedding dress.

At the front of the audience there were two gigantic, plastic heads, done in an amusement park-like style, made to look like the heads of two little girls. The two little girls had their mouths open wide and their tongues rolled out of their mouths, touching in the center, so that it was like these little girl heads were giving each other an erotic kiss. Adam Sandler and his bride would walk out of the mouths and meet in the center of the tongues to get married.

Adam Sandler was walking toward the back of the little girl head he'd be walking through. He was accompanied by a whole group of people, with a mother and a father on either side of him. He was dressed as a woman, but not as a bride. He wore a pink sweater and some kind of skirt. He had a shoulder-length, red-brown wig on. He may have been holding a bouquet of flowers. He was giving his standard, shy-ish, high, fast-talking girl act. For some reason I found this really hilarious and laughed a lot.

Suddenly Adam Sandler saw something and became very serious. He began running toward the other head. The view now switched to the walkway leading up to the bride's head. There was a doorway opening to the walkway. Beyond that doorway was a stairwell. A group of nymph-like women dressed in bridesmaids outfits were carrying down two stretchers. One of the stretchers held the bride. I don't know what the other carried: maybe a huge bouquet of flowers.

The bride lay unconscious, in full bridal dress, and surrounded by flowers, on the stretcher. It became clear that she was close to death. It seemed to me that one thread in the plot of this movie had been about the woman being sick and possibly in danger of death. It seemed to me that Adam Sandler and the woman were getting married at just the right moment. I'd even almost forgotten about the woman's illness. But now it seemed to me like the woman would die before she could get married.

***

UPDATE: Added illustration to dream #3, September 17, 2012, 7:49 PM, Mountain Standard Time.

antique orgasm; wild animals, little girls, and dessert

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was sitting out in some kind of plaza area at night. I sat on the ground, possibly leaning my back against the seat of a bench. My sister may have been there, too. We had some stuff with us: a couple of bikes and some other personal belongings.

A little boy and an older man came and sat down by us. The little boy had olive skin and dark black, straight hair. He wore tiny, tan, corduroy shorts and a little, white t-shirt that made him look a little bit like a girl. The little boy was attracted to me. Even though he didn't know me, he came down and sat on my lap. He sat right so his bottom was on my crotch, and he kept bouncing up and down.

The little boy eventually transformed into a Latino young man who was dressed up as a girl. He was dressed in a frilly, lingerie-esque black tank top with red, lacy fringes and a pair of really short, denim shorts. His hair was black, with streaks of pale brown dyed in, and done up in loose ringlets. He also seemed to have big breasts.

I had actually had an orgasm at some point in time because of the bouncing up and down. So the Latino young man figured I was attracted to him. He told me he'd give me his phone number. I wasn't wearing any shoes. The young man wrote his phone number on my right foot, starting at the joint where the big toe meets the foot and going all the way down past my ankle, an inch or two up my leg.

The young man wrote the number in red and black. The boy's handwriting looked very much like graffiti. The boy would write the red part first, then do a little outline in black to made it look like a shadow. I looked at the boy's pen. It was just one pen, with one tip, and no switching buttons. But it was putting out red ink or black ink, whenever the boy wanted. I told the boy, "You have really good handwriting."

The young man finished and stood up. I suddenly realized that he and the older man were together. The older man hadn't noticed the boy having sat down on me and rubbed against me until I came. And he didn't seem to think anything of the boy having given me his phone number. The older man just thought the young man was only in love with him. The two of them got on either a motorcycle or a bicycle and rode away.

My sister was either already gone or had left just now, telling me she'd meet me wherever she was going. I now felt like I'd been sitting around here way too long. I needed to get to wherever my sister was!

So I stood up, turned to my left, and walked along the concrete or cobblestone path along which ran the bench that I'd been sitting against. It was a pleasant evening, and there were a lot of people out. Suddenly reflecting on the people all walking around here, I knew I had to sit back down! I'd just come. Would the wetness of my cum be visible on my clothes?

I looked down. I was wearing some hideous, fluorescent yellow shorts. The fabric was really thin, and, just as I had suspected, the wetness of my cum had soaked through. I covered myself up. There was one spot I first noticed as I'd looked, kind of right on the front and center of my shorts, a couple inches below the waist line. I tried to wipe it off and dry it off.

I think I managed to get the spot to a point where I felt it was tolerably unnoticeable. But now I noticed another mess! This one was coming out of my right pocket. It seemed like almost all my cum had flowed into my right pocket. It was clear and goopy and gross. But it wasn't white. It was clear. And it was cold, not hot.

I didn't think I'd be able to stand up for a long time. But out of the crowd came a kind of prissy-looking old man, carting a clothes rack full of either women's outerwear or women's lingerie. The styles seemed kind of stale, something very much like what I thought the prissy, old man would like. But the man stopped at me and said, "You! Get up! You haven't done everything you were supposed to do with these clothes yet!"

I had a feeling I'd done something, either messing up the clothes or committing to buying them and then breaking my commitment, that had basically made the responsibility for the clothes all mine. Even if they stayed in the prissy man's store, I still had to take care of them. So, regardless of my fear of being seen in my cum-stained shorts, I stood up and went to the clothes rack.

Slowly other elements of a shop were dragged out into the crowd, I'm not sure by whom. There were glass display cases of items and items on pedestals. The interior of an antique store had basically been drawn out onto this walkway!

A second old man now came up to me. He had a few antiques, some of which looked like music boxes. But one antique which drew my attention was a sphere-shaped object. The man let me look at it. Most of its surface was some deep, polished color, like a deep blue or brown. On some part of its surface was a little clock face. The middle of the orb and the boundary of the clock were ringed with gold. The middle of the orb may actually have been hinged, so it could open, like an Easter egg.

As I was inspecting the object, the old man was talking about the store. The way he was talking about things, it sounded like the prissy man had talked the old man into being a part of this store, almost against the old man's wishes. It sounded like it was a little bit of a pain to work with the prissy man, simply because the man's prissiness sometimes got to be a real bore.

I dropped the orb. It almost crashed to the ground. But I flinched a few times, and all my flinches were luckily positioned so that I kept almost catching the orb, until I finally caught the orb. But now, when I looked at the orb, it may have had a surface of gold and crystal, with the clock face inside the crystal portion of the egg, tilted at about a 30-degree angle.

The old man suggested I give the orb back to him. The orb was pretty expensive, and the man didn't want me holding onto it if I was going to be so clumsy with it. But he wasn't mad at me. In fact, it seemed to open the old man up to telling me a bit more of his story. As the old man told me the story, the store materialized around us. We were in one room full of antiques. In another room was a perfume counter and more antiques. The prissy man may have been working at the perfume counter.

The old man said how he, like a couple other old men, had owned their own stores. All the old men's stores specialized in certain kinds of antiques. The old man's particular store may have specialized in antique clocks or antique perfumes -- or both! But the old man, like a couple of his friends, was discovering that the specialty antique shops were no longer able to survive on their own.

The old man and his wife (who may have appeared somewhere in the shop) had to sell their shop. Some of their friends had to sell their shops, too. But the prissy man suggested to the old man (and, possibly, to other old men) that the old man let the prissy man sell the old man's antiques in his shop. The prissy man's shop was bigger and more comprehensive.

The old man said, "Yeah, it's hard for antique shops of any kind to survive anymore. In this town, all up and down along this road, you'd see tons of antique shops. Now they're all closing up, one by one. Nobody visits them anymore. That's why it's lucky I'm working with him." (The prissy man.) "His store isn't an antique shop. And it has so many different kinds of things, people will always be coming to the shop."

But when I looked around the shop, all I could see were antiques. I thought, This place must be an antique shop! And it must be doomed, just like all the other antique shops! My vision focused on some people lifting up a painting from behind some massive, golden posts. The painting was tall and wide. It was on some thin, stiff board. It seemed to be an early evening lake scene, done in pale blues and tans.

I now noticed that all around that area were golden objects. There may even have been a statue of a standing Pharaoh, his headdress, skirt, beard, and staff all done in gold, or painted gold, and his body done in black stone.

Dream #2

I was out in the wilderness with my sister on a hot, clear day. We stood on some ridge where we could see out over an expanse of green, but dry and craggy, slopes. My sister had to go do something. She walked away behind me.

I think I knew that I'd eventually have to turn around and head to wherever my sister had gone as well. But I think I was also hoping my sister would come back. Out here in the wilderness all alone, I felt unprotected, scared.

The slope before me was now all made of plowed-up soil. It was like a construction crew was coming through this wilderness, turning it up to make some new development. The slope now lipped up before me, so that it crested above my head. I had to climb up it to see beyond it. But when I climbed up it, I decided to walk down the other side. I think I was hoping I could walk out of all this plowed-up area and into some pristine wilderness.

At the bottom of the plowed-up slope was a dirt road. Across the dirt road was another plowed-up slope. I knew that beyond that slope there would be pristine wilderness. But now I looked to my right, up the dirt road. In the distance maybe four hundred meters was a wild animal. It looked like a coyote, but I thought (or hoped) it could be a bobcat. It had been trotting lightly across the road. But now it stopped and looked at me.

I didn't really want to go any farther in the wilderness. I'd never had any trouble with coyotes, or any wild animal, really, in the past. But I had a weird feeling that this summer, because of the heat (or drought?), the wild animals were really hungry, and that they'd even try to eat humans. I didn't want to be out here alone and defenseless against a hungry animal. So I turned around and headed back up the slope.

Now the slope was extremely steep. I didn't know whether I'd be able to make it back up the slope. But, surprisingly, I was actually bounding up the slope. I would jump upward from one foothold to another. It didn't even seem to cause me any effort. It was kind of fun!

This whole time I thought that I needed to keep the idea of fear out of my head. If a wild animal sensed fear, it would attack me. I thought that perhaps the coyote/bobcat would see my jumping and think I was too hard to catch, not worth its time. But then I thought that maybe the motion of my jumping would be so tantalizing that the coyote/bobcat would find me a very appetizing meal indeed.

But I soon reached the top of the slope. I hopped over the lip of the slope, thinking that I must have gotten up and out of sight before the coyote/bobcat could see me. But now I saw the coyote/bobcat stalking across the opposite slope. The crest of the opposite slope was now very close to the crest of this slope. I could plainly see the animal, which was a coyote. And the coyote could plainly see me.

The coyote jumped from its crest to my crest. But when it reached me, it just slowly passed me, looking me over, trying to determine whether I was an enemy or a friend, but then just becoming seemingly indifferent towards me and stalking away to my right and behind me. I was still afraid. Since the coyote was behind me, did that mean it was just playing a game on me, and that it would soon attack me from behind?

But now I saw a second animal on the opposite slope. This time the animal was a bobcat! But the bobcat's face looked a little weird, like it was real, but like its real (not drawn) features had been scribbled into existence by a little child's crayon drawings.

The bobcat didn't even wait to climb to the crest. It hopped from mid-slope to mid-slope, then climbed up and over the crest. When it got to me, it bared its teeth and made some kind of hissing sound. Its teeth seemed like needles to me. The bobcat then stalked off to my left and behind me.

I now felt like I was in too much danger out here by myself. I turned around to go back to wherever I'd come from. I was now slouch-laying sideways in a huge, padded chair in a big house like a luxury cabin in the woods. The living room was huge, calm, and filled with natural light. At the other end of the living room two girls sat in either one or two big chairs. One girl seemed to be about nine years old. The other girl seemed to be about twelve.

The nine-year-old girl hopped out of her chair and walked toward me. She was really skinny and wore slim blue jeans and a slinky, striped, long-sleeved shirt. She was pale, and she had long, stringy, pale brown hair. She hopped up onto my chair and flopped down, laying on top of me. We were now covered in a blanket. I ran my hands along the girl's sides and hips.

The little girl was now gone, or possibly standing off to the side and somewhere behind me. The twelve-year-old girl stood up and seemed to be coming toward me, even though I was kind of wishing the nine-year-old girl would come back. The twelve-year-old girl wore tiny, white shorts, a tiny, white t-shirt, and a white baseball cap, which was backwards. She was a bit more plump than the younger girl.. She had a tan, and her chestnut-brown hair was just a little shorter than shoulder-length.

But before the girl even reached me, another young girl sat down beside me in my chair. At my feet there was now another chair adjacent to and at right angles with my chair. Both chairs were less puffy and just a little smaller than my previous chair had been, and both were upholstered with some rough kind of yarny, tan, dark blue, and pale blue fabric.

We were no longer in the living room. We were now in a gigantic cafe. The cafe may have been a Starbucks. But it was out in the woods and it was done up like a ski lodge. There were a lot of people in the cafe. But everything was so well spaced that nobody seemed to be getting into anybody else's space.

The little girl (or boy?) who'd sat down next to me really wanted to be close to me and cuddle with me. But the guy who'd sat down in the other seat made both the girl (or boy) and myself afraid to do anything. I'm not sure what the guy's relationship was to the child. The guy was tall, young-looking, and pale, with blue eyes and a little bit of stubble on his cheeks.

The guy began talking to me, like he was trying to be cool and friendly with me. He had a bit of an athletic tone to his voice, which made me feel like he was being genuine. I didn't know how to put that same athletic tone of voice into my own speech. But I tried to talk like I was cool with the guy as well. But I didn't like the guy very much, and I kind of thought it was an inconvenience to have to deal with him.

The guy then mentioned that my mom was coming soon with all the food. I must have been a little surprised by this. The guy said, "What? Didn't you know your mom was here as well? I met her in line. She told me to sit with you. She and the others would be here soon."

I sat up straight in my chair. I don't know where the child had gone. I saw that there were two additional chairs. The chairs were all arranged around a little white cube which would serve as our table. Now my mom came up and sat in a chair. The others, probably a couple of my nephews, would be showing up soon.

Now a waiter, like a stereotypical thin-mustached, French waiter, wheeled out a huge, shelved, steel cart of desserts and drinks. All the food had some kind of mango-flavored theme to it. The waiter sat item after item of mango desserts and drinks onto the white cube.

In particular I remember seeing mango-flavored pies, and some weird mango smoothie-like item in a clear glass. The mango smoothie was all clumpy, so that the gunk in the glass wasn't evenly distributed. In the empty spaces I could see some green, ropy material, like a snake mixed with a green bean, coiling upward.

a grey man tries to rape me

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I had just been with my old female friend PD. She had told me that I could wear some of her clothes, even though I think she was disappointed that I'd wanted to do so. She either told me where I could get her clothes or told me to come back for her clothes later on.

I was walking down the left sidewalk of a road like a road on the outside of a big city. Either side of the street was lined with buildings, like residential buildings with storefronts on the first floor. And the street seemed wide. But something about it all also felt fake, like I was actually on a sound stage. The sky was dark grey with clouds.

Wherever I was heading was so close that it was almost within view. It was like the road curved downward just a tiny bit in the distance, and wherever I was going (maybe to get some of PD's clothes to wear?) was just down beyond that slope.

But now a young man came walking down the sidewalk. He was really skinny and he was acting really weird, maybe a little twitchy. I thought he might have been on drugs. He looked like he was aiming to get up right on top of me and annoy me. So I figured I'd get over to the other side of the street before he got to me. But when he saw me crossing the street he started crossing, too. He gave me a look, like he knew I thought I was getting away from him, but that he wouldn't let me get away.

By the time I was in the middle of the street, the guy was also in the middle of the street. He was a lot closer to me now. I could see that he was a white man with blonde hair. He wore a baggy t-shirt, jeans that weren't as baggy, and a baseball cap, which he had scrunched down on his head so it was hard to see his features. But, as well as being a blonde, white man, he was also grey, like he had been covered in grey greasepaint, or like he was a statue come to life.

I had decided to cross back over to the first side of the street as soon as I saw that the man was following me to the other side of the street. I decided that what I would do would be, without looking either worried or annoyed, pick up my speed of walking and walk ahead of the guy before he got back to this side of the street. I figured that he mainly just wanted to cross my path. So as long as I got up ahead of him, he'd just forget about me and go away.

But the man actually came charging at me instead. He grabbed me from behind. He grabbed me around the stomach and chest with both arms and pulled his body close to my back. He put his mouth close to my right ear and began to say sexual things to me. He had managed to lift up my shirt. He was stroking my bare stomach and chest. It became evident that the man didn't think he was assaulting me. He thought that I liked him as much as he liked me. He thought this was some kind of foreplay.

I was trying to break out of the man's grasp. I had worked my way back up the sidewalk. I was staring at a wall full of full-height lockers, like in a high school hallway. The lockers were here, apparently, instead of a storefront. I then worked my way back out into the middle of the street. I finally managed to throw the guy off me, but I can't remember how. I yelled something at him, possibly a reproach, like, "If someone doesn't like you, just leave them alone!"

The guy seemed like he was through pursuing me. I started walking back to where I had originally been heading. But the guy started following me again. This time he was always a few steps behind me, calling out, "Hey! You're a pervert! What are you, going to find women's clothes to wear? That's sick, don't you think? A man wearing women's clothes?"

The street seemed to fade into the place where PD's clothes were. The place was a big room, like in a mansion. There was a staircase that then went down, in a c-shaped curve, to a smaller room. The smaller room could be seen from the balcony of the room above.

I walked down the staircase. A bunch of PD's clothes were on the floor, like the clothes had just been scattered all over the place and left there. But it was also like the clothes were on sale, like this was a shop, maybe even a shop owned by PD, but that PD was letting me have some clothes for free. The grey man was still up on the balcony, looking down at me. He had been shouting derogatory comments for a while. But now he was just watching me.


I was mainly looking for lingerie to wear. Everything, even the regular clothes, seemed to be made in a weird way. Nothing seemed like it would fit very well. I could hardly find any lingerie. But when I did, it would be cut in such a skimpy way or awkward way that I knew there would be no way I could wear it. I may have started to wonder if PD had led me here on purpose, so that, seeing all these kinds of clothes that would never work on a man, I'd feel bad for having wanted to wear women's clothes.

I finally found something I thought I'd like. It was supposed to be lingerie. But it was really two cowgirl boots, made out of white leather, with a weird strap connecting the boots. The strap was made out of some lingerie-like material, more crepe-like than satiny or silky. It was maybe a meter long. It was pink toward the edges and white toward the middle, like a flower. And there was actually some fake flower blossom right in the center of the strap. I couldn't figure out how I was supposed to wear the thing.


***


UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from this dream can be found at this entry of my dreamday journal.


UPDATE 2: Added two drawings to entry, July 23, 2012, 2:52 PM, Mountain Standard Time.

wearing lingerie in public; museum jealousy; astronomy lies for sex

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I walked out of some building and into a yard of buildings. The buildings were small, about the size of double-wide trailers. There were a lot of people out in this yard with me. The yard was like a vacant lot, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings, in the middle of New York City. It also felt a little like the back area of the Museum of Modern Art in New York.

The small buildings in the yard were in all different shapes, some classical, some modern. Some of the buildings appeared to be made out of granite. One building was made out of a shaded-looking glass. Other buildings were twisted in weird shapes. There was steam or smoke rising up from the ground everywhere.

I understood that this was a museum for the history of NASA. But I may not quite have understood that while I was in the building I'd just come out of. But now that I understood it, I wanted to go into a number of other buildings, to see what everything was about.

But as I looked at another building to go into, I saw a woman staring at me. She was a young, black woman. She was something like a security guard, but she sat behind a strange, glass structure, and up in some tall chair like a lifeguard's chair. It was like the woman was thinking I had done something bad. I think she was getting ready for me to do something else bad. So instead of hanging around and being blamed for something else bad being done, I decided to leave.

I may have had some friends. I may have told them I was leaving, or they may have come with me. I walked out onto a cobblestone street, kind of like the streets in the SoHo area of NYC. But this street was really wide. It was also pretty desolate of people. I walked to my left and kind of hooked up and backwards around a corner. I then headed up toward a streetcorner where there seemed to be a lot more people.

I stood among the people. I held a blue, fuzzy blanket around all of my body below my neck. Someone asked me if I knew where they could get a good something, maybe a good meal. I pointed in some direction where I knew (and could see in my mind's eye) a good shop. I may have given some directions. The place was only a couple blocks away. But the person seemed confused. So I told the person I could lead her (?) to the place.

But for some reason, when I pointed out the directions, I'd managed to undo the blanket from being wrapped around my body. I exposed myself. I was wearing women's lingerie -- a purple cami and purple panties.

I said, "Oh, wait. I can't take you down to that place. I'm wearing the wrong clothes. I didn't realize, I must have left the museum in a hurry, before getting into regular clothes. I'll have to go back and change."

But the woman stopped me. She said, "Why do you need to change? You've walked all the way out here wearing nothing but that stuff. I don't think anybody's going to care if you keep on walking around like that."

I thought the woman was right. It didn't seem like anybody around us really worried about the way I looked. But I was still embarrassed. I figured I'd at least go back to the museum so I could put on a t-shirt and some jeans.

Dream #2

I was in a museum, maybe an astronomy museum. The museum was run by two of my old friends, ML and MK. The museum was kind of like a series of small, modular areas set into a lobby or atrium of a big building, like an office building.

I had been shuffling around the museum, kind of sticking to the outskirts of it, not really wanting to be seen by ML and MK. But now a young, black man came into the museum. He was talking with my friends. The young man sat on the floor, with his back to a structure that had a big enough gap in it (between two stone or concrete walls?) that I could see the young man and at least my friend ML.

The young man began discussing something about his schooling. He'd studied aerospace, and he was really interested in learning as much more as he could about space travel. So he'd come here to see about becoming a member or about taking more classes through the museum or something. ML was really impressed by the young man. He told the young man he'd get back in touch with him soon.

The young man left. ML now spoke out, either to MK or else to the whole room, so he'd know I'd hear him, talking about how good the young man was. This was possibly supposed to make me feel bad about myself so that I'd take a more active role in studying the stuff at the museum. I did get jealous. I walked out of hiding and began talking with ML, trying to prove that I had been diligently studying aerospace and astronomy for a long time now.

Dream #3

I was in trouble with somebody, possibly a woman. I'd been in the role of a teacher for a number of females of all different ages. But I'd told them something completely wrong about astronomy.

I'd told them something about the effect of something like gravity from stars. I had been telling the women that scientists could not make firm judgments about either the composition of certain stars, or maybe even about the existence of certain stars within small groupings of stars. This had something to do with gravity.

I'd told the girls that, at least with certain kinds of stars, you could get closer and closer to the stars without feeling any different gravitational effects from them than you felt at a far distance. I had an image in my head, as I remembered telling the girls this, of a white star like a sun dotted with a bluish star on one side and a blackish star on the other.

The woman asked me why I'd been spreading such harmful nonsense among the students. I was trying to remember if I'd meant to spread nonsense. It seemed to me, as I reflected, that I was telling what I'd thought was the truth.

I even had a memory of a video I'd seen discussing the phenomenon. I tried to remind the woman about this video. I now saw an image of a star with two smaller stars dotting it. I then saw an image of two white stars that were close to each other.

I knew that the video said that the phenomenon was the same for both kinds of star systems: you couldn't feel any different gravity that would determine the existence, or the composition, or certain stars within the system. It might not be felt until you got really close. But even then there might be some kind of cancellation effect that would make it seem like there was no gravitational force from the bodies at all.

I tried to remind the woman of the video that had said this. But I couldn't remember what the video was, or when we'd watched it. And the woman didn't want to hear what I was talking about. She told me that the only reason I'd said all this stuff was to make the girls I was teaching less worried about some upcoming events. The girls were all so worried about some upcoming celestial event that they didn't want to have sex with anybody. But I was trying to make them less worried, so they'd have sex -- with me.

I now saw a slide, an old style metal slide. It was indoors. The room the slide was in was mostly dark, with just the top meter or so of wall, right where the slide peaked, lit up all the way across the wall with some gentle, fluorescent light that was behind a white, opaque pane of plastic.

The girls were all up on the slide's ladder. As they got to the top, they'd slide down. Three or so girls would be on the slide at once, all kind of evenly spaced. As they slid, some of the girls may have had some kind of purple glop detaching from their bodies, sometimes from their bottoms and sometimes from their stomachs.

***

UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from these dreams can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.


UPDATE 2: Drawing added for dream #1, July 16, 2012, 2:15 PM Mountain Standard Time.

shopping for lingerie; north of italy

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in either a women's clothing store or a lingerie store. The store was part of a shopping mall, and I could see the shopping mall's hallway just outside the window-front of the store. The store was grey, lit with a very drab, fluorescent light. The store may also have felt a little empty of racks of clothes. Some women were shopping in a couple different places. I may have felt like I knew the women, even though I wasn't with them.


I found a rack of lingerie that I thought I might like to wear. It was mostly cami and panty sets, made out of some soft, cotton-like fabric. I saw one set that was cream colored and another set that was lavender. There may have been other sets as well. The price of these sets was only something like $2.99. I thought I should get one. But then I thought that $2.99 would be too much money to spend.


A woman who worked at the store walked up and asked me if she could help me find anything. I didn't know what to tell her. I had the feeling the woman was kind of attracted to me. She was young, kind of pretty, with black hair and pale skin. I was afraid to tell her that I was looking for lingerie for myself to wear. I didn't want her to be disappointed in her attraction to me.


I was also starting to worry because I noticed that the people in the shopping mall hallway could easily see me. There weren't many people in the hallway. But what if one of them knew me and saw me buying lingerie? I decided to get away from the lingerie and get out of the store as quickly as possible.

Dream #2


I was with a friend, probably a female friend. We were meeting for a meal. We were in some upstairs area of a shop. But we had to head downstairs to get to the restaurant area.


As we headed down the stairs, we were talking about travelling. I mentioned something that I really liked about travelling. It may have been something about rich, cheesy foods. But that may just have been symbolic of something about the intellectual climate of, or the level of respect in, certain countries.


We walked all the way to the back of the small restaurant as I continued talking to the woman. I followed the woman almost all the way to the ladies' restroom, which was on the back wall of the restaurant. All the way, I was talking about travelling. Finally, as the woman walked into the bathroom, I said something like, "The best place for what I'm talking about is in the North of Italy."


The woman closed the bathroom door. The restroom door was green. I noticed two women sitting at a small table just to the right (my right) of the restroom door. The woman closer to the door looked like Isabella Rossellini in the movie Blue Velvet. She looked at me with anxiety. Apparently I'd said something she didn't like. I had an idea it was my mention of the North of Italy.


I was standing just to the right of some sort of small service counter, like an area where wait staff could quickly fix beverages for customers. My view was partly obstructed by an espresso machine with a pale green-painted body. Behind the espresso machine stood another woman, maybe in her mid to late thirties. She was tan and had short, brown hair in a spiky, but rounded cut combed down around her head.


The woman mentioned something to me about "Svetlana," the panicked girl who was seated by the restroom door. She said that any mention of the North of Italy would make Svetlana look like she was fraternizing with the customers. This was not allowed by the manager of this store, a woman in maybe her fifties. The woman believed Svetlana had recently been fraternizing too much with the customers, and that her work performance had fallen off as a result.


I knew this meant I should stop mentioning the North of Italy. But I thought this was stupid. I hadn't even been talking to Svetlana. So how could she get in trouble for what I'd been saying? And I wasn't going to stop talking about stuff that I'd come in here talking about, just because a manager was getting stuffy about it. So I kept on talking about the rich foods in the North of Italy.


Just behind the service area was a small stairwell up to the ground level. The stairwell was across a small hallway from the bathroom door my friend had gone into. The manager now walked down the stairwell. The manager was tan, with red hair and kind of wrinkly skin. She was short and a little stout, but more in a way that made her look tough rather than out of shape. She did seem to be tough. But she also seemed to have a friendly, natural personality.


The manager had heard me talking about rich foods from the North of Italy. She jumped into the conversation easily and naturally, telling me a few things about the foods. The manager mentioned that the restaurant was actually planning on serving foods from the North of Italy on this day.


The woman had a few samples sat atop the espresso machine. The manager and I were eating these samples. I had a piece of ham that I was dipping into some kind of white sauce that was in a tiny, crystal bowl. Just to the left of that bowl there was another tiny, crystal bowl of Parmesan cheese. The manger was also eating something: I saw her putting something small into her mouth with all the fingers of her right (?) hand.


***


UPDATE: A discussion of images found in these dreams can be found at this entry in my dreamday journal.


UPDATE 2: Added drawing for dream #1, July 9th, 2012, 3:30 PM, Mountain Standard Time.

space flight delays; girl's tuxedo; dropped phone on face

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was flying around in some craft with probably three other people. I think the craft was a spacecraft, possibly even a space capsule. We may already have gone up into space. We were now flying the craft around, maybe a few thousand meters above desert-mountain landscapes, like the craft was a small plane. Then we landed.

On the ground, probably standing somewhere near the tarmac, I was disappointed in myself. I may have felt like my role in the mission had been almost nothing. I may have felt like people had given me nothing to do. Or I may have felt like I had been too lazy to do anything. I may also have felt like my fear at some point during the mission had ruined some kind of mood for the people around me. Maybe my fear had been during the landing. Or maybe my fear had caused an early landing.

I watched an SR-71 Blackbird come out of the sky. I knew the Blackbird was practicing landings. The plane looked a bit flatter and more brittle than a usual Blackbird, and it had a bit of a milky-bluish tint to its black body. The landing was executed, I knew, almost perfectly. I really admired it as I watched it land and then coast down the runway. But I felt anxiety as I watched it coast away, like I couldn't be actually sure it would come to a complete stop before crashing into something.

I was now in a basement of some building which seems to me now like a hospital. I was in a room full of old scientific equipment: box-shaped monitoring equipment with knobs on the front and cords coming out and so forth, all stacked up on various shelves along the walls. There may also have been some bigger pieces of equipment, almost like dentist chairs or x-ray machines, in the room.

I walked into the hallway. The hallway was kind of cluttered, too. The rest of my crew was somewhere around here. We were all getting ready for a space flight, maybe a flight on a space shuttle. But something about the space flight had been delayed. Somewhere I could see the back end of a rocket booster. It looked really small, and it appeared to be stuffed full of tissue paper.

Some man came up to me. He was tall and strong, and he was carrying an iPad around with him. He was apparently my supervisor. He was trying to find some way to keep me from going on this mission. I'm not sure why. He almost seemed like an Adult Baby Daddy to me. I think he just wanted to keep me from going on the mission because he wanted to keep me from doing anything adult-like.

But there were, I now knew, two flights taking place. The one that had been delayed was the one my supervisor was trying to keep me out of. But there was another one that would take place after that. I had already somehow gotten in contact with my crew members. We had all worked together to set things up so that I could look like I wasn't going on any flights at all when the first flight went off. But I could then sneak into the second flight.

Dream #2

I was in a department store, probably with my mom and a few other people. We were looking around in the girls' clothing section. The floors and walls of the store were white, and the store was filled with a white, fluorescent light.

I stood in front of one rack with my mom. My mom stood to my right. My mom told me I could get any outfit of clothes that I wanted. I looked through the girls' clothes, wanting to get a really pretty outfit. I found an outfit I thought I'd like. I tried it on right then and there.

I could see what it was once I put it on. It was like black dress pants, a black jacket, and some kind of layered, cream-white shirt. The shirt seemed to be of a satiny fabric on the outer layers. But on the inner layers it was a soft fabric, maybe like cashmere.

I wanted to see how I looked. But I didn't want to walk too far around in the store and have other people see me. I saw a mirror attached to a column a couple racks away from where I stood. The column was wide, and the mirror was maybe 250cm tall and 150cm wide.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I don't think I saw my face. My suit looked like a tuxedo. Nothing looked feminine about it except the way that the shirt created this kind of layered v-like pattern along my chest. But my "shoes" were also feminine. They actually were just these big, cream-white, satiny bows attached to the tops of my feet.

I could tell that under this tuxedo, I was actually wearing a dress that looked quite feminine. But I was afraid enough to be around people in public wearing this tuxedo-like outfit. I'd be even more afraid to wear the dress in front of everybody.

As I walked back to the rack, I had an image in my head of a twelve-year-old girl. She had dark olive-colored skin, big, round, brown eyes, and frizzy, blonde and black hair. She wore a tight, blue and green tie-dyed tank top and tight blue jeans. This young girl was really sexy to me. I was hoping she'd come into my life and hit on me.

I was back at the rack, again with my mom standing at my right. I was now reluctant even to have my mother look at me. I didn't want her to know that I liked wearing women's or girls' clothing. And I didn't want her to buy any women's or girls' clothing for me. I felt like if she acted on the idea that I was a transvestite, our relationship would get too embarrassing. The part of me I really didn't want my mom to see were my shoes.

Off to my left I saw a Hispanic family walk up to the girls' clothing section. It looked like a dad, a mom, and two younger children. But I wondered if the twelve-year-old girl I'd fantasized about just a moment ago would be part of this family. I thought that if she was I shouldn't do anything anyway. I wouldn't want to get in trouble with the girl's family. I also didn't want the family to see me as I was, dressed up in girls' clothing. Again, I especially didn't want them to see me in these shoes.

Dream #3

I was in a big vehicle like an SUV, riding through some area like a complex full of tall, wide, sheet-metal-walled warehouses. It was daytime. I was with a whole group of people. I'm not sure exactly where I was sitting. Sometimes I felt like I was in the front seat. Other times I felt like I was in the backseat. I think I always felt like I was on the passenger side.

One of the people I was with was this young guy. He was maybe twenty-five years old. He was tallish, slim, with olive-colored skin and short, curly, black hair. He wore big, black sunglasses and a smallish, pale-blue (?) t-shirt.

It was understood that the guy had a cut or a number of cuts on his face (although these cuts may not have been visible). I'd asked the guy how this had happened. But the guy was too embarrassed to answer. He was trying to make me feel like I shouldn't ask anymore questions. But I needed to know what was going on. The guy had a tendency to overwork himself and injure himself. I wanted to make sure he wasn't doing it again.

So I pushed the guy to answer me. Finally he said, "I made a deal with myself last night that I wouldn't answer my cell phone after midnight. That way I could get some sleep. But I was in bed and I checked my phone at 11:56. There was something on it, so I thought I should take care of it. But I must have fallen asleep as I was doing that. When I fell asleep, I dropped the phone right on my face."

I said, "Oh!.... Oh, no...," like a caring mother would when she wanted to sympathize with her child after he got hurt, yet she also couldn't help seeing a bit of humor in the situation.

I could see the phone in my mind's eye. It was a huge and clunky, as tall as a landline phone's receiver. It had a huge, black antenna coming out of its top. It had a shiny, black face and a dull, grey casing. I imagined the young man dropping the phone on the bridge of his nose, causing a kind of deep gash.

great grandmother suggests college

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a bedroom on an upper floor of some small building, either a big house or a small apartment building. The room I was in was a rented room or a furnished apartment. Most of my view was taken up by my bed. All the bed had on it was a lot of white sheets. The rest of the room had a lot of white in it as well. But the room was kind of dim, as if only one light were on, somewhere behind me.

I got the feeling that my landlady (possibly an old landlady from my waking life) was coming for me. Possibly I hadn't paid the rent, or possibly I had done something bad in the room that my landlady needed to speak to me about. But I really didn't want to have to face my landlady. So I left as quick as I could, to avoid her.

Now, having walked away from the room, I was out on my great grandmother's lawn. The light was like late afternoon: a kind of cool blue-grey. I was trying to get away from the building (which wasn't there anymore) as quickly as I could. But my great grandma opened the front door of her house and called for me.

I turned around, still thinking that the person I was hearing was my landlady. I looked in through the shade of the doorway and saw my great grandma. She looked younger and healthier than she had been when she died -- maybe like she was in her early seventies, rather than in her late nineties. She was wearing a small, white sweatshirt.

Finally I realized where I was and who I was talking to. I turned (reluctantly?) and walked back toward my great grandma's house. My great grandma had me come inside. She sat me down in the living room. I sat in the chair she usually sat in while she was alive, and she sat in the chair to the right of that chair.

My great grandma asked me how I was, and then started talking to me about my life. She seemed to be suggesting to me that I go back to college. She asked me something like, "Have you ever considered Pace?"

The only Pace I knew of was Pace University in New York City. I hadn't actually considered that school. I didn't think I would ever consider the school, but I didn't want to tell my great grandma that, and seem to be contradicting her. My great grandma may already have seemed a little frustrated with me somehow, possibly because I was definitely being wishy-washy about going back to school.

I now noticed that my bookbag was sitting on the footstool in front of the chair. It had popped wide open. A new package of baby's diapers sat positioned about halfway out of the bag. I knew the diapers were mine -- like I had bought them for myself to wear.

I didn't want my great grandma to see the diapers and know they were for me. I tried to hide them. But now there was another new package of diapers, in a kind of thin, plastic shopping bag, right next to my bag. There were two big, new packages of diapers right in front of me! The package coming from my bookbag was colored red. The one in the shopping bag was green.

I wanted to put the diapers on right now. But I didn't want my great grandma to see me doing so. I was seriously thinking of doing something like hiding behind a chair so that I could change into a diaper without leaving the living room. But I didn't think that would work. I was half-lazily (like in a reverie) and half-frantically trying to figure a way to put a diaper on.

But suddenly I was in my great grandma's bathroom. I figured I must have gotten there by making some excuse to my great grandma about how I needed to go to the bathroom. I had all the bags with me, and I was putting on a diaper.

I looked at my diapered bottom in some (???) mirror. I noticed that the diaper-bottom was torn. It was like the leggings of the diaper were like the stitching around the leggings of panties, and that all the padding of the diaper had pulled away from the legging. Parts of the backing may have been shredding a bit as well, creating a striped or netted look.

I was now in another place. I may have just been with a group of friends, taking care of some task. We were now coming back home, as if we all lived in the same dorm-like apartment. I was rushing down to my room in the basement with a feeling of happiness, the brisk excitement of having been out with friends.

The basement felt full of activity, like there were a number of people who lived down there, and like they all shared some kind of common space like a living room, along one wall of which were the doors to the individual bedrooms. I ran into my room, but I left the door half-open.

I looked at myself in a full-length, kind of narrow mirror on the wall. I realized I needed to change my clothes quick! I couldn't quite believe it, but I was dressed like a girl! I wore a tiny, lavender-colored skirt, a baby blue shirt, and something like white nylons or fishnet stockings. I was also wearing a diaper, which I may have peed in. The diaper was visible from under the skirt. My body may also have been the body of a skinny, teenage girl, even though I was still myself, and a guy.

I knew I needed to change before anybody saw me. (It didn't occur to me that, if I looked like this coming into my room, everybody I was out with must have seen me already.) But as I was changing, my brother may have come into the room. His only reaction to me may have been that I needed to stop screwing around. He was impatient for us to get somewhere. And my slowness was really making him disappointed in me.