Tuesday, November 27, 2012

the beginning of a cycle

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a house with my family. It may have been morning, not too long after sunrise. Most of my family was in some other part of the house, probably sleeping. But my mother, my brother, and I were all at the front of the house.

We were in a space like a hallway before the living room. But the left wall of the hallway was a small space or structure like a small room with a bunk bed in it or a bunk bed with the bottom bed being as large as the floor of a small room.

As my brother approached the end of the hallway he threw up. There wasn't much vomit, but it managed to splash up from the floor pretty violently, so that I had to move quickly to dodge it. My mom rushed to my brother and supported him to the living room, where he vomited a great deal.

I now understood, possibly from a conversation between my mother and brother, that my brother was really sick because of an alcohol-related disease. The disease had been at bay for a while. But it had started up again because my brother had started drinking heavily again. He had been out last night drinking, so now he was in really bad shape.

I left the living room, partly because I was a little grossed out by all the vomit, but partly because I was disappointed in my brother for having started drinking again.

I walked into the small space on the side wall of the hallway. There were some bits of something that looked like potatoes on the floor. I had the bad feeling that I'd have to clean this stuff off this particular section of floor. If I didn't, nobody else would.

I now heard my mom and brother talking back and forth. My brother told my mom that the best thing was for him just to start his alcohol and substance abuse cycle and get into it as intensely as possible, just let the cycle work itself out, and then let it subside again. This sounded really horrible, and I hoped brother wouldn't do it.