Monday, July 23, 2012

a grey man tries to rape me

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I had just been with my old female friend PD. She had told me that I could wear some of her clothes, even though I think she was disappointed that I'd wanted to do so. She either told me where I could get her clothes or told me to come back for her clothes later on.

I was walking down the left sidewalk of a road like a road on the outside of a big city. Either side of the street was lined with buildings, like residential buildings with storefronts on the first floor. And the street seemed wide. But something about it all also felt fake, like I was actually on a sound stage. The sky was dark grey with clouds.

Wherever I was heading was so close that it was almost within view. It was like the road curved downward just a tiny bit in the distance, and wherever I was going (maybe to get some of PD's clothes to wear?) was just down beyond that slope.

But now a young man came walking down the sidewalk. He was really skinny and he was acting really weird, maybe a little twitchy. I thought he might have been on drugs. He looked like he was aiming to get up right on top of me and annoy me. So I figured I'd get over to the other side of the street before he got to me. But when he saw me crossing the street he started crossing, too. He gave me a look, like he knew I thought I was getting away from him, but that he wouldn't let me get away.

By the time I was in the middle of the street, the guy was also in the middle of the street. He was a lot closer to me now. I could see that he was a white man with blonde hair. He wore a baggy t-shirt, jeans that weren't as baggy, and a baseball cap, which he had scrunched down on his head so it was hard to see his features. But, as well as being a blonde, white man, he was also grey, like he had been covered in grey greasepaint, or like he was a statue come to life.

I had decided to cross back over to the first side of the street as soon as I saw that the man was following me to the other side of the street. I decided that what I would do would be, without looking either worried or annoyed, pick up my speed of walking and walk ahead of the guy before he got back to this side of the street. I figured that he mainly just wanted to cross my path. So as long as I got up ahead of him, he'd just forget about me and go away.

But the man actually came charging at me instead. He grabbed me from behind. He grabbed me around the stomach and chest with both arms and pulled his body close to my back. He put his mouth close to my right ear and began to say sexual things to me. He had managed to lift up my shirt. He was stroking my bare stomach and chest. It became evident that the man didn't think he was assaulting me. He thought that I liked him as much as he liked me. He thought this was some kind of foreplay.

I was trying to break out of the man's grasp. I had worked my way back up the sidewalk. I was staring at a wall full of full-height lockers, like in a high school hallway. The lockers were here, apparently, instead of a storefront. I then worked my way back out into the middle of the street. I finally managed to throw the guy off me, but I can't remember how. I yelled something at him, possibly a reproach, like, "If someone doesn't like you, just leave them alone!"

The guy seemed like he was through pursuing me. I started walking back to where I had originally been heading. But the guy started following me again. This time he was always a few steps behind me, calling out, "Hey! You're a pervert! What are you, going to find women's clothes to wear? That's sick, don't you think? A man wearing women's clothes?"

The street seemed to fade into the place where PD's clothes were. The place was a big room, like in a mansion. There was a staircase that then went down, in a c-shaped curve, to a smaller room. The smaller room could be seen from the balcony of the room above.

I walked down the staircase. A bunch of PD's clothes were on the floor, like the clothes had just been scattered all over the place and left there. But it was also like the clothes were on sale, like this was a shop, maybe even a shop owned by PD, but that PD was letting me have some clothes for free. The grey man was still up on the balcony, looking down at me. He had been shouting derogatory comments for a while. But now he was just watching me.

I was mainly looking for lingerie to wear. Everything, even the regular clothes, seemed to be made in a weird way. Nothing seemed like it would fit very well. I could hardly find any lingerie. But when I did, it would be cut in such a skimpy way or awkward way that I knew there would be no way I could wear it. I may have started to wonder if PD had led me here on purpose, so that, seeing all these kinds of clothes that would never work on a man, I'd feel bad for having wanted to wear women's clothes.

I finally found something I thought I'd like. It was supposed to be lingerie. But it was really two cowgirl boots, made out of white leather, with a weird strap connecting the boots. The strap was made out of some lingerie-like material, more crepe-like than satiny or silky. It was maybe a meter long. It was pink toward the edges and white toward the middle, like a flower. And there was actually some fake flower blossom right in the center of the strap. I couldn't figure out how I was supposed to wear the thing.


UPDATE: A discussion of some of the images from this dream can be found at this entry of my dreamday journal.

UPDATE 2: Added two drawings to entry, July 23, 2012, 2:52 PM, Mountain Standard Time.

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